What If Its Your Kids That Are Driving You Nuts? (Not The DC Kids)

[cheerfuldom]

Overall my current DC group is good. There are challenging phases and days with each of them but this is by far the best group I have had since I began daycare. Lately, however, my own two girls are driving me nuts and I would love some advice if possible.

The older is 3.5 years old. She used to be so independent and easy to please. Now she argues about everything! What to wear is a huge issue. Besides that, she has a new habit of commenting, questioning, repeating everything. Its like she needs this constant flow of communication, affirmation and attention from me. Here is a typical convo "Mommy are we going for a walk today, can we go, are we going, when are we going...." Me: "Yes we are going for walk" Her: "yay we are going for a walk! we're still going right mommy? are we going right now? we are still going right?" and so one simple task is flooded with comments so constant that i have noise fatigue. Seriously! I have my husband give me a 15 to 30 minute break from her because I get so exhausted of this. She also wants to show me stuff constantly, wants hugs constantly, is always right next to me pawing at me. Any suggestions? I am the "go play toys" type of mom. Unless they need something, they need to be keeping themselves busy. She has a lot of attention from dad in the evenings and even he is getting sick of her being so overwhelming. You try and do something nice for her and either takes an hour to get to the activity with all the commenting or she is dramatic and sobbing about the stupidest thing (sorry to sound so harsh). I know this is bad but it makes me not want to do anything special for her or even be around her at times. We have plenty of one on one time, lots of things to do on the weekends, huge circle of friends and family. I don't feel that she is being neglected in any way. So is there anything I can do but just pray this phase is over soon? She hasn't been playing that well with her friends either. She is bossy with them, trying to get them in trouble, being too rough with them and in general, a little pain lately. I would totally term her if I could! Nothing has changed in our schedule and I don't bend the rules for her. She just pushes the limits almost constantly. She is very smart, energetic and creative but with all the attitude, we don't get very much time lately to actually DO anything amidst all the correction that it takes to get there. Does this make sense? Any ideas?

[SilverSabre25]

Welcome to three and a half!!!

That's VERY normal for the age. Have you ever read "Your Three Year Old" by Louise Bates Ames? I highly recommend it, and her books for all the other years, to give parents an excellent idea of what's totally normal and expected at each age...they are very accurate, I've found.

My 3.5 yo girl is doing the same stuff...by evening I'm so tired of the constant chatter!

Things should smooth out as she approaches four.

[daycare]

Overall my current DC group is good. There are challenging phases and days with each of them but this is by far the best group I have had since I began daycare. Lately, however, my own two girls are driving me nuts and I would love some advice if possible.

The older is 3.5 years old. She used to be so independent and easy to please. Now she argues about everything! What to wear is a huge issue. Besides that, she has a new habit of commenting, questioning, repeating everything. Its like she needs this constant flow of communication, affirmation and attention from me. Here is a typical convo "Mommy are we going for a walk today, can we go, are we going, when are we going...." Me: "Yes we are going for walk" Her: "yay we are going for a walk! we're still going right mommy? are we going right now? we are still going right?" and so one simple task is flooded with comments so constant that i have noise fatigue. Seriously! I have my husband give me a 15 to 30 minute break from her because I get so exhausted of this. She also wants to show me stuff constantly, wants hugs constantly, is always right next to me pawing at me. Any suggestions? I am the "go play toys" type of mom. Unless they need something, they need to be keeping themselves busy. She has a lot of attention from dad in the evenings and even he is getting sick of her being so overwhelming. You try and do something nice for her and either takes an hour to get to the activity with all the commenting or she is dramatic and sobbing about the stupidest thing (sorry to sound so harsh). I know this is bad but it makes me not want to do anything special for her or even be around her at times. We have plenty of one on one time, lots of things to do on the weekends, huge circle of friends and family. I don't feel that she is being neglected in any way. So is there anything I can do but just pray this phase is over soon? She hasn't been playing that well with her friends either. She is bossy with them, trying to get them in trouble, being too rough with them and in general, a little pain lately. I would totally term her if I could! Nothing has changed in our schedule and I don't bend the rules for her. She just pushes the limits almost constantly. She is very smart, energetic and creative but with all the attitude, we don't get very much time lately to actually DO anything amidst all the correction that it takes to get there. Does this make sense? Any ideas?

children are always going through change....as adults we don't. we adapt and we stick to it.... The hard part is changing with her...

My daughter, who is now 13 was like this when little. But I didnt get breaks becusae I was a single mom.

I found that I need to stick to my word at this age. If i said we are going to do something I better do it. If you don't do it, then the child will stop trusting yoru word.

My son who is 3.5 goes through the phases of telling the kids what to do, becuase it's what he see's me doing all day long. What child does not admire their mommy at this age. She wants to be just like you.

Going back to my daughter, when she did something, she wanted to teach me how, not the other way around. It bothered me at first, as I didnt understand the change in her right away, but was lucky to pick up on it.

Do you do any special time through out the day with only you and your daughter? When I saw my 3.5 year old holding on to my shirt for dear life during the day, it made me realize that he just wanted my attention. So now I lay him down an hour later than the rest of the kids at naps and I spend that hour in the room playing toys, reading books, or just talking. He has really stopped latching on to me like he was. Which I know you can relate to how frustrating it is when you are trying to cook lunch or change a diaper with a 3.5 year old hanging on you....

hope this helped some....

[cheerfuldom]

thats the thing, we DO a lot of one on one time. She only naps for an hour a day so she is up the rest of the nap time with just me. I try to get out books, projects and whatever and it is so much work to try and get her involved or excited about anything that I just leave the stuff out after a certain point and go about my day. Little sis goes to bed at least an hour before she does so she has another block of time and lately, Daddy has been running errands and doing fun stuff with just her. He is having the same issue. Do we keep trying to find ways for her to be happy or just screw it and let her figure it out on her own? Its a little comforting to know that this is normal but is there anything we can do about it?

[daycare]

I think that one thing that is very important in life regardless of age is that "WE" all learn to make ourself happy.

I would continue the way you are, but ask her....what makes you happy? Ok great why don't you go do that. If she throws a fit, look the other way...I am sure you already do from teh sounds of it.

Don't let her pull you into becoming her personal entertainer.....you may need to turn a deaf ear to her at times..... NOt always just when it becomes too much....

[spud912]

Ugh, I'm right there with you. Both of my daughters can really get to me during daycare hours. I hate to say it, but when my dh comes home, I can't wait to pass at least one of them off to him!

[cheerfuldom]

thanks daycare....I agree that I need to be more consistent with my approach and that is why I am looking for feedback first. Its hard not to get ****ed in the drama because she really is a super great kid but I do see myself catering to all this way too much. We (hubby and I) are going to have a big talk about this and come up with a plan. At this point, I think we are going to have to go commando parenting on her and stay super strict and consistent. She can't handle any leeway at this point.

[daycare]

thanks daycare....I agree that I need to be more consistent with my approach and that is why I am looking for feedback first. Its hard not to get ****ed in the drama because she really is a super great kid but I do see myself catering to all this way too much. We (hubby and I) are going to have a big talk about this and come up with a plan. At this point, I think we are going to have to go commando parenting on her and stay super strict and consistent. She can't handle any leeway at this point.

lmao my mind is in the gutter when you said go commando..........hahhaha sorry. Let me grow up for a second..

I am glad that I can give the advice, but I really need to take my own... what is that called?? calling the kettle black?

I did it with my older kids (turn a deaf ear) but I don't do it to my own 3.5 year old.....

[BentleysBands]

At one time I had 3 kids under 5, my own. I was so over whelmed with exactly what your going thru. Only advice I have is try to enjoy it!!! They grow so quickly..mine r now 18.16.12 and I wish I could go back to those days! They are so precious trust me!!!!! Good luck Hun and hang in there...it is a phase

[christinaskids]

I would talk with her when you are not frustrated and tell her you will only tell her once and after that you are going to ignore her. A few times of being consistent with this and it should pretty much nip it in the bud. Especially since you told her, she can expect it. My own son is driving me nuts too. He is 11 months old and follows me and wants attention CONSTANTLY which is hard to do with all of the other kids around.

[GretasLittleFriends]

My youngest isn't quite 14 months old and she is a total mommy's girl. Some days I get so frustrated with her new found jealousy that I'm practically in tears. I need to remember, it too shall pass.

My oldest has always been easy going, and at 15yrs still is. The only thing with her was when she was 3/4 she was wanting to understand. "Because I said so" wasn't an answer I gave her often. She was so much better if I explained things to her, even just a brief explanation.

My DS... I got to the point with him some days I would have to look him straight in the eyes and say "I hear your voice talking, but I'm busy right now. I can NOT listen to what you are saying right now. I will let you know when I'm ready to listen." This seemed to work best.

[mickey2]

At one time I had 3 kids under 5, my own. I was so over whelmed with exactly what your going thru. Only advice I have is try to enjoy it!!! They grow so quickly..mine r now 18.16.12 and I wish I could go back to those days! They are so precious trust me!!!!! Good luck Hun and hang in there...it is a phase

OMG YES THIS! Mine are 30-27-26 and 23 I wish I could go back to the days when they WANTED their mommy! I miss it so much!

With my 8 year old son I just enjoy him so much! Having already had 4 children who are all grown up and married, having children of their own I look at my little boy everyday and know its not going to last much longer.

I remind myself often that time passes soooooo fast and one day soon he will be in junior high, then high school then off to college.

Its a phase they go through and then there will be another one then another one then another one, Enjoy them all.

I am doing it this time around.