What Do You Think About The J. Crew Ad?

[Hunni Bee]

This morning on the Today Show, they did a story on a particular ad by J. Crew that is stirring up a lot controversy. The ad shows a mom painting her 5-year-old son's toenails neon pink. The mom and the boy are both laughing and seem happy... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...-children.html

Today had the mom that started the "Princess Boy" movement, in which some parents and psychologists are encouraging parents who have boys who want to dress and act "like girls" to allow them to and be accepting.

I KNOW this is a hot button issue, but I really want to know what other people think. Do you think we should encourage boys (and girls) to bend gender roles? Do you think if we do, it will cause problems later in their lives or cause them to targeted by bullies?

I allow my dck's to dress up and pretend to be anything they want (unless its offensive or really not appropriate). If boys want to wear girl stuff, I let them. And vice versa for girls. I have an extremely short haircut (like a man's), and I often use it as an example. Most of the them are aware of their gender and the roles that society has placed on it, and put on other-gendered clothing usually as a joke.

But, I do have one dcb who ALWAYS picks out skirts, pocketbooks, and heels to put on, and loves to play with the play vacuums, etc. He picks out pink anytime there's a choice of colors for something. This boy is also having some issues with inappropriate touching of other boys, showing his genitals, etc...

Im on the fence....

[SilverSabre25]

I didn't see the ad and I don't watch the Today show, but I do have to say that while I don't see a point to encouraging the bending of gender roles, I have no problem with supporting or at least not discouraging the bending of gender roles.

Gender is a socially constructed concept anyway. There are many little boys who like pink and who enjoy having their toenails and fingernails painted when their mom does her nails. Even the most masculine "all boy" types often like this stuff as 2, 3, 4, year olds--my nephew is one of them. I think he still gets his nails painted every now and then and he's 7!

I have several boys right now, and they all fight over the dress up heels, love the purses, and enjoy playing in the play kitchen. One dcb keeps fighting over the pink cups and plates at lunch (because my DD makes a big deal out of it, but still) and that is also the one who gets annoyed when she wears dresses because he wants her to share the "princess dress" (note I am NOT talking about the dress-up dresses...but he doesn't get the distinction, ).

The idea of pink being a "girly" color is socially constructed and relatively modern, anyway. The idea of dresses being a no-no for boys of any age is also relatively new and modern--go back a hundred years or so and all kids wore what amounted to dresses until they were two or three (ever read the Anne of Green Gables book where she has her son? They mention it there. Or look at really old photographs and wonder why your grandfather is wearing a dress?).

Furthermore, with playing with dolls and vacuums and other "girl" toys--well, there's nothing inherently "girly" about that stuff--again, we're looking at a socially constructed idea that these things are for women only and boys should have no part in them. If we want our little boys to grow into nurturing, caring, loving, family men who help their wives around the house and are willing to get up with the babies, then we can start teaching them from childhood that it's okay to play those roles in life.

[ninosqueridos]

I did see the picture on the today show although I wasn't listening to the report. J Crew is trying to sell clothes. How that ad fits into that is beyond me.

I'm all for allowing the boys to explore the princess clothes and dance like ballerinas, but the painting of toenails is taking it a bit too far. My DCDs I'm sure would not approve of that type of pretend playing with their sons.

[countrymom]

omg, I have some dads that would freak if they knew what their boys were doing here. I have no problem with dressing or wearing girls stuff. The boys love spa days too. Now I'm not sure about painting the nails pink, but I see no problem painting the boys nails with clear nailpolish. My ds will have his toes done in clear because he has 3 sisters, what am I suppose to do (oh and ds is 8)

[nannyde]

I don't have dress up clothes.

I don't see ANY difference in boys play and girls play. They are the same. They play with all the toys sets equally and the same.

If a stranger came in and wasn't able to see their faces or hair they would not be able to tell which kids were boys and which ones were girls by their play.

[KEG123]

I painted my sons pointer finger blue a couple weeks ago. He saw mommy doing and and said "Blue fingers!!" so I painted one nail. He loved it. I wouldn't ever do pink, and I don't know if I could ever do "all" his nails unless he could specifically ask.

[nannyde]

See if this attachment works.

Two girls... one boy. ::

[KEG123]

great picture Nan!

[WImom]

I have a dc boy that's 2.5 that comes in with painted nails all the time. When ever his sister gets hers done he wants them. I don't see anything wrong with it. I think he always has yellow polish.

[nannyde]

great picture Nan!

The little dude calls the nail polish color: Buzz Blue ::::::

[MarinaVanessa]

My opinion is that I don't see a difference in letting boys play "girl" things and girls play "boys" things. It's just a generalization and I mean, come one people. If we let society tell us what our "proper gender roles" are or what is proper for our gender aren't we moving backwards here? I mean really? Should women stop working and go back to the kitchen? Should stay at home dads give that up and go back to the workforce? It's nail polish people.

And let's not forget that debate about whether boys should be allowed to play with "girl" toys like dolls. It went on forever and it ended up that research showed that letting them play with dolls in the end made them better, nurturing fathers. Remember that? I'm really not trying to step on anybody's toes here but I heavily think that America has become overly sensistive over pretty much anything. Our nation is such a drama queen ::.

Oh and I'm sure a lot of us don't remember (because none of us were born yet) but in the Victorian era blue was considered a very feminine and soft color and pink was considered a dominant, strong color. Little girls wore blue and boys wore pink back then. Later when people starting switching the colors around they had a cow back then too and low and behold the colors were switched anyway.

I know that the issue is about pink nail polish on a boy but my guess is that if the mom were painting her sons toes blue (or any other color besides maybe red for that matter) that people wouldn't really have a problem with it. It has raised eyebrows because the color pink was used. But really, it's just a color.

[Evansmom]

I've never had a problem with it either way. We encourage girls all the time to do things that were once considered "boy" or "man" things. I mean, look back and before WWII women were expected to stay at home and NOT work and NOT wear pants/slacks/shorts and NOT cut their hair short. If a woman did work she was generally only accepted to be a nurse or a teacher and that's all. So think about how you would feel if we still imposed those social limits on all of us and our daughters. Many of us don't agree with setting limitations on our daughters. Women can now hold any job they want to including things that used to be considered only for men such as doctors, scientists, architects, and government jobs and they can wear pants and have short hair cuts while they do it.

So flip the coin. Is it fair or right to limit our sons to only doing what is for "boys"?

Personally I don't think so. And I have let my little 3yo son paint his toenails pink. He plays with only little girls in my daycare right now so he knows no different. But he also can hit a baseball like I've never seen for someone so small. It's a balance. We are all human before we are man or woman.

[Lucy]

The so-called "controversy" really angers me. If a kid wants to paint their nails pink, blue, purple, red, black, green, or clear... WHO CARES!!! It's a color. It's not a statement of sexuality. Ugh. Live and let live. Practice tolerance. All that stuff. Grrrrrr. LOL. I don't care if boys want to play with dolls, or girls want to play with trucks. They're just trying things out. Exploring their options. I would NEVER steer them in a different direction. I have one dad who rolls his eyes and says "oh great" if he sees his son playing with dolls. One day I had Ellen on tv when this dad came, and he was like "oh great.... teach my kid about lesbians." I've known them for 7 years and it was said as teasing and he laughed after he said it, however, there was a lot of truth behind that teasing!! I know him well enough to know those were his real thoughts. It's a talk-show, dude. She doesn't preach lesbianism, nor do I. People just make me sick with their intolerance. Ok, I'm done!

[AfterSchoolMom]

I don't think it makes a darn bit of difference, because when they get to elementary and middle school, they teach each other that certain things/activities are "boy" things and "girl" things whether we like it or not. I tried to encourage my own to play with whatever they were interested in. Now they're in school and inform me daily that they couldn't possibly drink out of the pink cup, etc.

[mickey2]

I did things such as paint all of my 3 son's toenails/fingernails when they were really small because they saw mommy and they wanted it. They also watched me put on makeup and wanted that as well. So I let them! I personally see no problem letting them have fun.
My youngest son is 8 now and would NEVER want to wear nail polish or makeup as he knows this is something that girls do. My oldest boys are 27 and 23 are successful and married and they leave the makeup and nail polish for their wives now. It did none of them any harm. I just let them be little. It only last for a while.