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I have a 4yo girl in my class who is going through some issues at home. Her parents separated some months ago, but recently dad has been granted visitation. She stays with him about 2 weekends a month. Both parents have new live-in partners. Dcg is very articulate and intelligent, but has regressed to behaviors such as thumb-****ing, whining and tantrums since this has started.
I mentioned to the mom that dcg "seemed really irritable and whiny" one day, because it was out of character for her. The mom informed me that she had been that way at home, and usually was more so after a weekend a dad's. The next morning my director informed me that she had complained that I used the word "whiny" and she didnt want her daughter to have bad self esteem "20 years down the road because Ms ______ said I was whiny".
I will admit I could have used a better word, and I apologized to her. And thought that was that.
About a week later, I get a phone call at the center at 7 am (dcg gets dropped off at 6:45) from dcm asking to speak to dcg! I was taken aback, and our handbook doesnt say explicitly that parents can't call and speak to their children, so I put dcg on the phone. Dcg cries for her mother for the following two hours. I told my director about it, and we decided that its disruptive to have parents call and speak to their children. She didnt call back for a while and I forgot about it.
Yesterday she calls at 10:30 - right in the middle of Center Time. I explained that we cannot call children to the phone, and she got upset. Said she would call the director and come up there on her lunch hour....okay, not intimidated, sorry. The director said that she would allow dcm to call back at 11:30 because she had promised dcg that she would call, but no more after that. I had dcg ready so it wouldnt be so disruptive - no call.
So at 10 am today, guess who calls? We tell her again, no...and she immediately calls the director. Director explains that its our policy, and we try to help the kids be independent in handling their emotions, and if dcm felt that wasn't okay for her daughter, she may want to look for other care. She declined, of course.
But another teacher told me that this morning at dropoff dcm told her that "she has no words for me" and that when dcg asked her why she didnt call yesterday she told her "i did call, but ms ___ (me) wouldnt let me talk to you". Way to go, villain-izing me in the eyes of a child I have to care for 9+ hours a day. Yes, I do think its disruptive, but it still wasnt my decision. And then after we bent the rules for her, she didnt even follow through...ugh.
I mentioned to the mom that dcg "seemed really irritable and whiny" one day, because it was out of character for her. The mom informed me that she had been that way at home, and usually was more so after a weekend a dad's. The next morning my director informed me that she had complained that I used the word "whiny" and she didnt want her daughter to have bad self esteem "20 years down the road because Ms ______ said I was whiny".
I will admit I could have used a better word, and I apologized to her. And thought that was that.About a week later, I get a phone call at the center at 7 am (dcg gets dropped off at 6:45) from dcm asking to speak to dcg! I was taken aback, and our handbook doesnt say explicitly that parents can't call and speak to their children, so I put dcg on the phone. Dcg cries for her mother for the following two hours. I told my director about it, and we decided that its disruptive to have parents call and speak to their children. She didnt call back for a while and I forgot about it.
Yesterday she calls at 10:30 - right in the middle of Center Time. I explained that we cannot call children to the phone, and she got upset. Said she would call the director and come up there on her lunch hour....okay, not intimidated, sorry. The director said that she would allow dcm to call back at 11:30 because she had promised dcg that she would call, but no more after that. I had dcg ready so it wouldnt be so disruptive - no call.
So at 10 am today, guess who calls? We tell her again, no...and she immediately calls the director. Director explains that its our policy, and we try to help the kids be independent in handling their emotions, and if dcm felt that wasn't okay for her daughter, she may want to look for other care. She declined, of course.
But another teacher told me that this morning at dropoff dcm told her that "she has no words for me" and that when dcg asked her why she didnt call yesterday she told her "i did call, but ms ___ (me) wouldnt let me talk to you".
Way to go, villain-izing me in the eyes of a child I have to care for 9+ hours a day. Yes, I do think its disruptive, but it still wasnt my decision. And then after we bent the rules for her, she didnt even follow through...ugh.
. Kids whine...and parents/caregivers need to correct them for it. Otherwise they grow up to be whiny adults (coughcoughDCMcough)!
: Their own parents tell me when they're in a whiny mood in the morning!
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