Speaking Of My Own Children - How Much Weight

[DCMom]

My kids are now 24, 22 and 18. I started doing this when my middle son was born; it was the closest thing to me being a stay at home mom.

When they were younger I kept my numbers low so we could go and do things; I would hire and assistant one day a week in the summer and we would go do whatever they chose to do on 'their' day. I always tried to take school holidays off or hire an assistant on those parent participation days. I always tried to focus on the fact that I started this for them. When they were older I had a network of parents that I could rely on for rides and I reciprocated on weekends or when I could.

The bottom line though, it is/was my job. Sometimes it came first. We 'need' two incomes to have the lifestyle that they had become accustom to ~ the other option is to give up all the extras that they wanted. The choice was theirs and we had the conversation many times over the last 22 years. The were for the most part well behaved around daycare parents; they knew that these were my clients and if they were naughty they would answer to me. It was kind of an unwritten rule even when they were very young.

When they got older ~ middle school or so ~ I moved the business exclusively to the lower level and out of the main living area of our house so they could have friends over after school or do homework in peace or maybe watch a tv show that wasn't pre-school appropriate or play a video game without little kids hanging off of them.

If you asked them then ~ they would have said they hated the daycare. If you ask them now, they would tell you that they loved having me around when they were growing up. My daughter is even starting school in the fall for her early childhood ed degree. She wants to open her own daycare so she can be home with her kids, too.

So, I listened to them and took their feelings under consideration but in the end I made the decision that was the best one for me and my family and for us it was for me to do daycare.

[DancingQueen]

I think it all may have more to do with the fact that I just started last year. This is all very new for them. I think my 5 year old absolutely loves it. My 9 year old loves it but behavior wise it is a big struggle
The almost 15 year old I sometimes think would rather I work outside of the home even knowing all of the restrictions it would mean.
My almost 17 year old is incredibly mature and it is why he really keeps his mouth shut. He knows things would be a LOT more difficult if I were working out of the home. He also LOVES the fact that our house is always clean. When I was working full time we were horrible at keeping up. I just couldn't do it all. But now he loves it. (he is a neat freak - didn't get it from me LOL)

I bet if I loved doing daycare more than anything in the world and it were a SECOND income then I wouldn't think so much about what they are saying. But now that I'm single I'm realize how little I actually bring home and I'm about to lose health insurance.. added to their concerns and the fact that I like (not love) what I do.. and it makes me stop and think.

It is why I've been thinking that when my 5 year old goes into first grade I may be considering going back to work out of the home full time.
I wish I could work for the school system - but the money isn't much better and I could NEVER afford to have summers off EEEEK

[PitterPatter]

does their opinion have on your business?

I ask because I'm starting to get quite a bit of resistance from my older two (almost 15 and almost 17) My 17 year old is respectful about it and helpful but he makes no secret that it effects the entire family and he doesn't enjoy it at all. My almost 15 year old does not hold it in at all. She says on a daily basis I HATE DAYCARE!...

They genuinely hate that I do daycare. And my 9 year old (the one with ADHD) really struggles when the daycare kids are around. and the daycare kids behave horribly when he is around. He seems to bring up the energy level of the entire house and the daycare kids bounce off the wall

To make things worse the summers are so boring for them because I can't go anywhere. i can't even bring them to friends houses or anything. I am trapped here in my house/yard and unless they can get rides then so are they. Their summer last summer was absolutely horrible.

I think he would be so much better off if I didn't do daycare. His psychiatrist said that asking him to behave in the daycare environment right off the bus from a stressful day of school is really asking a lot of him. He isn't suggesting that I change my career but he is just pointing out the obvious. Even suggested I find as many was as possible to have my son NOT be here during daycare hours.

I just wonder how much your daycare effects your family and how would you feel if you were me?

I too have a 9 yr old ADHD son. (only child) He was 4 when I opened my daycare. He usually doesn't mind daycare much as it gave him playmates. As he gets older I do see more frustration but he doesn't throw fits about it or anything. He does have an issue with 1 child that irritates him but he deals with it. He does have days where he asks if I can just close daycare for a while. He knows it's what puts food on the table, clothes on his back and toys in his room. He also likes me being home. I have told him in the past that I can go get a dif job but I would then have to send him to someone elses daycare. He quickly opted out of that senerio ::

Last year I was staying open until 10:00 pm and it really was too much for him as he had NO private time with me. (no Dad involved so I am all he has) I felt so bad for him even bedtime he couldn't have me to himself unless he waited up until the last DCK left. I changed it to 6:30 as quickly as I could and now things are better. Usually the kids all get along and if I only have a few in tow we do go on outtings when possible. He also has his room to himself to retreat to. The bedrooms are off limits to DCKs. In summer if I just can't get away for a while I will have his Gran come pick him up and take him somewhere special. Even just a sundae at Dairy Queen can help ease his frustration if it's been a rough day.

Do u have a relative that can take your son (and your other children) on special outtings? Maybe make a routine even. Like on Fridays if he has been good in school and all his Gran will pick him up from school and drive him straight to DQ for a treat. He loves that!

[Country Kids]

I've been mulling this over for a few days really thinking about it. What I find funny from most of the posts is alot of moms are doing this so their children wont be without. Kudos to you but from what I'm reading the things they would be going without aren't necessities in life-they are extras. Cell phones, band camps, camps, internet, t.v., game systems, etc. When are we going to learn that we don't have to work to provide these extras for our children! Alot of the posts actually read that children aren't allowed to voice their complaints on daycare because the moms are working so these children can have this stuff. Then quit the daycare and the children can go without and I bet they will still survive. Think of the hours that would be freed up to do things with your children-things that matter and will be remembered. Bike rides, helping at their school, going on walks during the day with just them, maybe spending the day at the park, etc. Being able to play with just them or watch movies in the summer during the day or play in the sprinklers. I know single moms this isn't an option but for the moms that are saying I work so that my kids can have........ Why can't the children that are able (teenagers) go get jobs for these things they think are necessary for survival? I do this for survival, helping my husband with house payment, food, clothes, bills. We were very close to me being able to not to childcare at all and then his company shut down. He was able to receive another job but at a very big lose in wages so now we are back to square one-working to survive. This is my first year to work full time in about 4 and same with summer I haven't worked in the last four but now I have to. My children are in tears because we can't go do the fun stuff without childcare tagging along. So please listen to your children and think about it-do you just work so that your children can have STUFF or could you quit and create memories? Please do not think I'm judging anyone, I see our nation as one that is raising a generation of "Give me, give me and give me more and I deserve it no matter what". These are just my thoughts and suggestions so please don't bash me for them. I understand if you don't agree but please listen to your children and let them voice why it is hard on them. Thanks!

[daycare]

My kids don't really say to much about it ages 13-15. They know that if i were to work out of the home that I would make them join some kind of afterschool program until I was off of work. They would also not get to bond with their little brother who they adore. Plus there is no way in the world that I would allow for my two teenagers to come home to an empty house.... that is just not going to happen...

[AnythingsPossible]

I've been mulling this over for a few days really thinking about it. What I find funny from most of the posts is alot of moms are doing this so their children wont be without. Kudos to you but from what I'm reading the things they would be going without aren't necessities in life-they are extras. Cell phones, band camps, camps, internet, t.v., game systems, etc. When are we going to learn that we don't have to work to provide these extras for our children! Alot of the posts actually read that children aren't allowed to voice their complaints on daycare because the moms are working so these children can have this stuff. Then quit the daycare and the children can go without and I bet they will still survive. Think of the hours that would be freed up to do things with your children-things that matter and will be remembered. Bike rides, helping at their school, going on walks during the day with just them, maybe spending the day at the park, etc. Being able to play with just them or watch movies in the summer during the day or play in the sprinklers. I know single moms this isn't an option but for the moms that are saying I work so that my kids can have........ Why can't the children that are able (teenagers) go get jobs for these things they think are necessary for survival? I do this for survival, helping my husband with house payment, food, clothes, bills. We were very close to me being able to not to childcare at all and then his company shut down. He was able to receive another job but at a very big lose in wages so now we are back to square one-working to survive. This is my first year to work full time in about 4 and same with summer I haven't worked in the last four but now I have to. My children are in tears because we can't go do the fun stuff without childcare tagging along. So please listen to your children and think about it-do you just work so that your children can have STUFF or could you quit and create memories? Please do not think I'm judging anyone, I see our nation as one that is raising a generation of "Give me, give me and give me more and I deserve it no matter what". These are just my thoughts and suggestions so please don't bash me for them. I understand if you don't agree but please listen to your children and let them voice why it is hard on them. Thanks!

I don't think I am raising "Give Me" children. They know that they things they have and do need to be worked for. While yes band and band camp and music lessons are not necessities, I do believe they are enriching activities.
As I stated in my post we could get by on my husbands income, but it would be a life full of stress and worry about making sure we have the money we need to do the things we need to get done. So while I am not necessarily required to do daycare, it is the job that allows me to be home with my kids and provide them with enrichment they wouldn't otherwise get. And I think it is totally worth it, despite their occasional grumbling. I don't feel I am giving them a disservice by not closing my business to suite them.