Dirty Faces/Clothes During Interview.... HELP...

[jojosmommy]

:confused:Just interviewed a family yesterday looking for very part time care needed. Dad may have the option of going more full time with his job in the future but that date is unknown. Family seemed nice but all 3 kids came with dirty faces and ketchup/mustard on their clothes.

Thinking back to my own childhood there were probably a number of times when my mom took us somewhere a little grubby but what are other peoples thoughts on this?????? I would not bring my kids to a daycare interview dirty- wipes in the car for a reason.


I have had some interest in a full time space and would need to term this family if someone was ready to contract for my full time space. However I could use the extra cash now instead of waiting for a possibility for someone to take my full time space. SO, do I take these three little mustard/ketchup filled friends OR do I say it isnt going to work out simply on first impression.

I have never had this issue before so I need to know your opinions...........

[Blackcat31]

If a child left your daycare with a dirty face...what would you want parents to think of you?

Sometimes looking at things from every angle makes a difference! I would think a dirty face means parents care more about eating than cleanliness and to me, that says alot...... I have learned over the years that the dirtiest kids are the happiest kids...kwim?

[PitterPatter]

I have taken in dirty children for the simple fact that I can clean them up and show them a better side of life. Mine was much worse than mustard kinda dirty. Sadly some parents don't care. I feel it gave me a chance to show the children that someone really does care! Those kids gave my extra hugs and even said they loved me every day! THAT makes it all worth it IMHO. Oh and they were good kids as well! Typical sharing issues but good kids!

[jojosmommy]

I should add that I am pretty anal about cleaniless and even have it in my contract that kids need to be clean when they arrive.

My hubs says to take the kids and if they are always dirty when they come send them in the bathroom to wash their own faces. They are all school age so they could.

Maybe I should lay off. Both parents seemed really nice- and I would trade good communication for clean faces most any day.

Am I being too picky or is anyone out there as anal as I am about this issue?????

[Blackcat31]

I have taken in dirty children for the simple fact that I can clean them up and show them a better side of life. Mine was much worse than mustard kinda dirty. Sadly some parents don't care. I feel it gave me a chance to show the children that someone really does care! Those kids gave my extra hugs and even said they loved me every day! THAT makes it all worth it IMHO. Oh and they were good kids as well! Typical sharing issues but good kids!

I don't think dirty faces says the parents don't care. I think it means that the kids are kids and keeping them clean (let alone 3 like OP's interviewing family has) is a lot of work. Some of the best families I have bring their kids to me with dirty faces and sometimes yesterdays clothing.....but they spend good, quality time with their kids.

Other kids I have come in Abercrombie T-shirts and Etnie tennis shoes and the parents have never spent one single minute doing anything quality with them so I think judging people based on ketchup/mustard stains on their faces is wrong. The parent may have had to quickly get the kids fed so they weren't late for the interview (?)

I'm not saying that first immpressions don't count for something but I just hate when I hear people make it sound as though parents don't care because the kids are dirty or unkempt.

I tell my dcp's that if your kid comes home dirty it means they had a good time.

[Lucy]

This is a tough one, but I think I would take them if it is an issue of needing the income. (I totally sympathize with you on needing the income... that's where I'm at right now!) While I don't have it in my contract that they should come here clean, it bugs me when they don't. But I would never say anything (I'd just think it! LOL) It's one thing if the mom says "we just stopped for a bite on the way over and the kids both spilled ketchup on themselves. So sorry, but we didn't have time to go home and clean up." But if they said nothing about it, that tells me they're kind of sloppy and don't really care. However, that doesn't mean they would be a bad family to take in. See? I'm being wishy-washy! That's why I said this is a tough one. I'd take them and wait and see if they end up being respectable people. (Does that sound bad? )

[marniewon]

I should add that I am pretty anal about cleaniless and even have it in my contract that kids need to be clean when they arrive.

My hubs says to take the kids and if they are always dirty when they come send them in the bathroom to wash their own faces. They are all school age so they could.

Maybe I should lay off. Both parents seemed really nice- and I would trade good communication for clean faces most any day.

Am I being too picky or is anyone out there as anal as I am about this issue?????

I guess I would just have to wonder why the parents couldn't clean them up before coming over. Do they go everywhere dirty? Maybe they (parents) didn't realize that they are being interviewed also? Would the parents show up to work or a job interview, or even out with friends dirty? I try not to be judgemental on that sort of thing, as I too tend to believe dirty kids are happy kids, but for something out in public, I would just be wondering why they didn't clean them up? Food on shirts, okay, maybe they just came from mcd's, but dirty faces I wonder about.

I have a little guy who often comes with a dirty face. I know he eats in the car, but what I don't understand is why dad can't wipe his face real quick before bringing him in? My kids were never spotless (dirty kids = happy kids...) but if we were going anywhere important, or even just out in general public, I would clean them up best I could before leaving.

[Lucy]

I guess I would just have to wonder why the parents couldn't clean them up before coming over. Do they go everywhere dirty? Maybe they (parents) didn't realize that they are being interviewed also? Would the parents show up to work or a job interview, or even out with friends dirty? I try not to be judgemental on that sort of thing, as I too tend to believe dirty kids are happy kids, but for something out in public, I would just be wondering why they didn't clean them up? Food on shirts, okay, maybe they just came from mcd's, but dirty faces I wonder about.

I have a little guy who often comes with a dirty face. I know he eats in the car, but what I don't understand is why dad can't wipe his face real quick before bringing him in? My kids were never spotless (dirty kids = happy kids...) but if we were going anywhere important, or even just out in general public, I would clean them up best I could before leaving.

Yes... I totally agree with this. I have NO problem with them getting dirty, but I do not understand why a parent can't wipe their faces before they go somewhere where they are trying to make an impression. That baffles me. I try not to judge, but it does kind of tell me they have a low value of themselves and what others think of them. Again, is that bad???

[daycare]

I agree dirty faces dont mean bad parnets... I think it means that the parents are NOT crazy nuts about always obsessing over the little things in life. These are the parents that i want. The others that are always obsessing over every little detail are the ones that I would prefer not to have..

Also, try putting yourself in their shoes too. maybe they had to jump through hoops to make it there on time and for them that have been way more important to them. You never know what someone else has been through and I feel it is VERY important not to judge them for it...

[jojosmommy]

Let me add that she called from home and said they were eating and would stop over once they were done. She did not have a set time to come. hmmm....

[daycare]

Let me ask this...are you not ok with it becuase its NOT what you would have done?

[Unregistered]

The whole reason I am asking is because in the past (when I first opened) I took a few families that too were unclean at interview. One ended up having sick kids all the time and I eventually termed b/c I was sending home sick so much they were never here anyway. Another family I had that met this criteria at interview stopped coming one day and I never heard from them again- until they wanted their tax paperwork at the beginning of the next year. Finally another like this had every personal problem imaginable- moved like 5 times in 5 months- no consistency at home- which meant behavior issues at daycare- kids came with boogers etc. Finally they were dropped from child care assistance b/c they couldnt comply with their requirements. I am afraid I am taking on more issues than it is worth.

My sister, who is a MD, sends her kids in clean "daycare" clothes everyday- 3 yr old boy has holes in knees and stained shirts. This doesnt bother me AT ALL- daycare clothes are meant to be played in and I don't want to have to worry about kids getting dirty all day while playing. Both kids are clean hygenically speaking though.

I am just worrried this is a sign of other issues which I prefer to not have to deal with.

[PitterPatter]

I don't think dirty faces says the parents don't care. I think it means that the kids are kids and keeping them clean (let alone 3 like OP's interviewing family has) is a lot of work. Some of the best families I have bring their kids to me with dirty faces and sometimes yesterdays clothing.....but they spend good, quality time with their kids.

Other kids I have come in Abercrombie T-shirts and Etnie tennis shoes and the parents have never spent one single minute doing anything quality with them so I think judging people based on ketchup/mustard stains on their faces is wrong. The parent may have had to quickly get the kids fed so they weren't late for the interview (?)

I'm not saying that first immpressions don't count for something but I just hate when I hear people make it sound as though parents don't care because the kids are dirty or unkempt.

I tell my dcp's that if your kid comes home dirty it means they had a good time.

I didn't mean mustard meant a child was dirty. I meant I have had kids that were dirty and it's sad some parents don't care.

Mine was much worse than mustard kinda dirty. Sadly some parents don't care. I feel it gave me a chance to show the children that someone really does care!

I have children that come in with an actual odor, greasy hair, black socks and smelly stained clothing. I just wanted to point out some ARE that way and that I feel sorry for them, etc.

[Cat Herder]

Eh, the dirt/condiments on their faces make no difference to me, especially if they were with Dad that afternoon....

The red flag is "very part time care needed".

This, to me, means:

1. Lot's of work repeatedly transitioning children with no real benefit to anyone but the parents employer.

2. Lot's of diet/napping/discipline issues due to lack of consistent structure and varying sets of standard expectations.

3. Disruption of routine for other children established in care longterm.

For me, part time care is just not worth the investment.

[Abigail]

If you think the family in general is a good fit you should take them. You can always have something in your handbook that full time families get first pick or just avoid that topic all together and term if they end up not being a good fit. I personally don't like the idea of telling a part time family they may lose their spot in time because full time comes first. That would only make part timers not feel welcomed and always worry about finding care when the time comes. It would be my choice to take them in the first place so I would rather silently give them notice instead of telling them I found a full time. I wouldn't take on a part timer if I was looking for just one more full timer though because it wouldn't be fair to take in a family for only a few weeks.

Moving on....all you need to do is put in your handbook that you expect all children to arrive clean and in clean clothes. You can always reference this and it's not a touchy topic unless you find out this is a very very low income below-poverty-level family and then you might feel bad if you didn't know they only had so many outfits and only once a week to the laundry-mat, etc. It is easy enough to tell them to wash their hands and faces when the arrive infront of mom/dad so they realize they should be doing it at home. If they don't take them hint tell the parents during a private conversation that you don't want their kids to feel embarassed when other kids talk about them being dirty all the time. They're old enough where being in school their hygiene is going to affect them.