Not Quite Understanding Some Parents

[mac60]

I have 2 kids from 1 family, A. is 1 1/2 and B. is 2 1/2.

A. is grumpy all the time, he is a big kid for his age, will eat the amount of an adult. He has always been a grumpy baby for both me and his parents. Whiney is a good term to use with him. So the couple weeks or so has been really bad as far as the whining, parents say it is bad a home to. They said they don't know if it is his teeth or not, but his drewel is terrible, and chews on everything. Ok, obvious teeth coming in.......so yesterday I felt around with my finger, and there are at least 2 to 3 coming in, my question is.....why in God's name would you NOT give this child typenol or ibuprophen for a few days till he gets thru this, even if you only do it a couple times a day. The kid is absolutely miserable. Parent comes in this morning and says, yes, a tooth coming thru....OMG, it took you this long to figure it out?

B. supposedly to the parents is potty trained, except for the mere fact that in probably 4 weeks, she has only told me 1 time that she has to pee. If I don't personally take her, she does not go pee. Even if I ask her if she has to go, she always says no. So, for the past weeks, I have asked her throughout the day "Do you have to potty". Even when she said no, I took her. She never showed the initiative herself. So last week mom asked me if I was comfortable going to cloth panties. I told her no, as B. does not tell me if she has to go pee, and always tells me no when I ask, and the only time she actually goes potty is when I make her go to the bathroom. So this week I decided ok, prove to me you are potty trained. So yesterday I did not ask her if she had to pee. I made general comments to the group....Does anyone have to potty. She never said yes or never went. Then before nap, I made my general statement.....Does anyone have to potty. She said nothing.....laid down for nap, went to get her up from nap, and she had peed thru everything, clothes, blankets, what a mess. I have tried to explain to mom that B. must verbally tell me when she has to pee before we go to cloth panties. She doesn't. Unless I personally take her to the bathroom, she does not go. I guess my point is......that to me, a child is not considered potty trained until they can come to me and tell me they have to pee. They have to be able to know when they have to go and tell an adult. Yes, I know I could take her every 2 hours and she would probably pee, that is not being potty trained, that is being provider trained. In my handbook it states "When your child goes 2 weeks with no accidents going to the potty on their own, then they can go to cloth panties". So far this hasn't happened. If I don't take her, then she doesn't go or even tell me she has to go. That to me is not potty trained.

[tymaboy]

I have 2 kids teething too. Niether of the parents give the ok to give them tylonal. Our day would be so much nicer if I could.

[jen]

I have 2 kids teething too. Niether of the parents give the ok to give them tylonal. Our day would be so much nicer if I could.

Seriously...I would simply say, "B is pretty miserable with those teeth coming through. It is disruptive to the other kids and quite frankly makes for a pretty miserable day for the rest of us. We can either give him Tylenol during the day or he will have to stay home until he is more comfortable.

They will be giving you some Tylenol in about 2 seconds flat. It is ridiculous for all of you to suffer because one child is being forced to "tough it out."

[kiddiecare]

I like Jens answer of telling the parents they can provide pain reliever or keep him home, as a mom i hate the thought of my kids not feeling good and do everything i can to make them more comfortable, this thread runs along the same lines as parents bringing their children to daycare when they are sick and should be at home in their own bed..

[momma2girls]

Potty training

Hi!
I have one rule, every child, must wear pullups or diapers, until they are completely potty trained, able to go and do everything on their own all the time!!!!! It is a very good rule!!!!

[ConcernedMotherof2]

I don't understand why a parent wouldn't give their child tylenol... I know a lot of people don't like to give their children too much medication, but it's not going to hurt him, so why not dull his pain a bit? I feel your frustration on that one.

As for the potty training of child B, I think you are handling it extremely well. It is the parents' job to train their child at home to act the way she should at daycare (hard for some parents to grasp at times, but we *do* have to train our children to do things the way that they are done outside the home). Maybe mom needs a little talk about the training... a little guidance? You may have tried this, but if you haven't, maybe you could tell her that the best way to get her child ready for panties at dc would be to spend an entire weekend fully centered on taking the child to the potty every two hours *at home* and praising her, making her feel like a big girl. You know how it's done--maybe she could benefit from a little of your insight. Your rules are fair; in the best interest of all the children in your care.

[MomOfMia]

Regarding Potty Training.
My daughter is 3½ years old and has been potty trained to some degree since early June.

I very recently became aware of the difference between bladder/bowel control and bladder/bowel awareness.

My daughter can hold her pee/poop for up to 5 hours but usually will not go unless I tell her to. And if you ask her if she has to go, she'll say "no". She is completely unaware of what "the feeling" feels like.

My suggestion for you is that you plan on there being very specific potty breaks where all children who are potty trained/potty training must at least go and try. This also gives an opportunity to have kids wash hands (important this time of year). Mia was in a large daycare facility when she started PT...she is now home with me and I watch an infant. At the center they ALWAYS have a mid-morning break (before snack), a break right before lunch, one after lunch (before nap) and one right after nap (before PM snack). This is a minimum of 4 required visit to the bathroom. And for Mia, that virtually eliminated accidents. If you ask Mia if she has to go when she's in a group of other kids, she will almost always answer "no" cuz she doesn't want to miss anything. At home, it's a different story. So the parents are likely being truthful since at home, she doesn't have the distraction of other kids.

Now, I know you do not want this to be provider driven, but being that this offers more opportunity for hand washing for all the children, this seems like an easy and worthwhile implementation. And it has been shown by many-a-child that wearing pull-ups during potty training only lengthens the process. Even Huggies (in their potty training video) says that with PullUps, PT averages 8 months! After all, to the kid, a PullUp FEELS like a diaper. Going straight to cloth panties, we were able to have Mia trained within 4 months.... and that seemed like an eternity. However, this, with scheduled visits to the potty, means that it's DONE.

You have to ask yourself whether you want your PT guidelines to be in the best interest of the child or in your (the provider) best interest.

As for your teething child:
Sad you cannot give Tylenol.... fortunately, the baby I watch is allowed to have Tylenol when needed. You might ask the parents if you can give Highlands Teething Tabs... they're an herbal, so some parents may be more apt to be ok with them.
Also, just tell the parents that unless they can authorize some means of relieving the child's pain, you may have to call them to pick up the kid if they are requiring more of your attention than is reasonable.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

I completely agree with the point that miamom made about picking them up if they are in pain and you cant help,.. there is no reason that you should sit back and watch a child in pain if you have the ability to help them. Thats cruelty.

[GretasLittleFriends]

As I was reading this I was trying to remember what it was I gave my son. It was Highland's Teething Tablets. They worked great. It may be something this mom should look into if she's against giving the child too much tylenol. I agree with Jen, and would send the child home if she is too uncomfortable. My contract states (along with the state illness policies) that the child has to function with the rest of the children. If they're too uncomfortable to do so, they are sent home.

I have no advice for the potty training, as that is a bridge I haven't had to cross yet.

[Unregistered]

You have to ask yourself whether you want your PT guidelines to be in the best interest of the child or in your (the provider) best interest.

I'm sorry but having another child's pee and poop all over my house is NOT in the best interest of THAT or any other child in my care... let alone my family.

[Chickenhauler]

It very well could be that the parents never even thought of giving the child Tylenol for teething pain.

I know it sounds ludicrous, but just because two people manage to plop out a kid doesn't mean they're all that bright.....even cattle reproduce.

[mac60]

This mom is an RN, I guess I just "thought" they should know.

[mrs.meg]

Okay, as far as potty training I am in the EXACT situation. Mom says 2 1/2 year old is potty trained. I have to take him to the potty, every time I ask, he says no. He cannot pull his pants up or down. I am in the process of teaching him this. He does not get off the potty until I go in there and tell him to get off and help him. Mom does EVERYTHING for these boys ages 2 and 4 and it makes my job SO hard. She acts like he is potty trained at home and I do not believe it. He is not potty trained, he is provider trained. I have to do all the work, just do not understand parents at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[whitey]

Medication for teething

As I was reading this I was trying to remember what it was I gave my son. It was Highland's Teething Tablets. They worked great. It may be something this mom should look into if she's against giving the child too much tylenol. I agree with Jen, and would send the child home if she is too uncomfortable. My contract states (along with the state illness policies) that the child has to function with the rest of the children. If they're too uncomfortable to do so, they are sent home.

I have no advice for the potty training, as that is a bridge I haven't had to cross yet.

Highlands Teething Tablets are awesome! I think Little Remedies also makes Homeopathic Teething Tablets now too! I try to keep my own children as "drug-free" as possible so as a provider I can understand a parent not wanting to use a conventional pain reliever such as Tylenol. If parents choose not to give anything at all and the child is absolutely miserable, then I agree that it's a good idea to send them home until they are more comfortable.