Play Dying

[nannyde]

I agree that it's natural to be curious and I don't want to squelch it or make it taboo and then they try to do it behind my back.

What would a good response to this be? Just like what I told them yesterday? That dying is sad? I mean, I don't know how to address this. Or should I just let it go and not address this unless it turns violent?

I think I'm having such a hard time with this b/c 6 years ago I watched my husband die slowly over 17 months from a brain tumor. I'm personally really sensitive still to the subject of death and dying.

For me this is so easy.

"I" don't want to have that kind of talk from small children. I don't like it so I don't allow it. It's about ME and what "I" like. I want them to talk about flowers, elephants, pandas, guitars, trains, garbage trucks, dolls, blocks, food, treats, kitchens, etc. etc. etc.

There's a BAZILLION different things they CAN talk about every day. They can play "dying" from the time they leave here till the time they come back. I don't care about that. I just want them to play something else when they are around "me".

It's one of the big perks of being self employed. YOU get to decide your work environment.

We can make really simple things very complicated. There doesn't have to be a conversation about it at all. Just the words "don't talk that... I don't like it". That simple and they move onto something else.

Kids who are used to adults placing limits on their play will take it just like they take the "don't put the toys over your head" rule that I have. They are used to me saying what I like and don't like without any explanation. They look to me for simple... plain... understandable prompts to keep the play sweet, nice, calm.

I give them sweet, nice, calm every minute of every hour of every day. They can take that to the bank. When I tell them I don't like something they BELIEVE it and leave it.

[Evansmom]

Yes, thank you nannyde, you explained it kinda how I was feeling this morning. I don't feel like daycare is an appropriate place to discuss this and I don't feel equiped to talk to other people's children about dying, I'm not a child therapist. So I'll go with my gut feeling and nix the play dying quickly and in a short sentence like you suggested. I"ll also mention it to my parents so that they can have a talk with their children about it at home so we're all on the same page.

And then I'll keep talking to my little one about death and explore what he's wondering about the whole thing.

Thank you all for helping me talk through this.