Ugh..Nervous Wreck Vent

[marniewon]

I'm done with dc next Friday. This week I had an incident with one child punching another. I sent a letter home describing the incident and what steps I would be taking to make sure it didn't happen again (child separated from group for the remainder of his time here). Mom was not happy with that, as she was picturing him in the corner by himself all day long. Explained several times to her that he would have access to all the toys he normally does, and would not be in the corner, only not allowed to interact with the others.

Mom said she was prepared to start new daycare next week instead of the following week, if she could get a refund for next week so she could pay new daycare. I assured her that he was fine to continue here because I had the solution to make sure everyone was safe and happy. She then asked point blank if I would be willing to refund her money. I explained how the contract is still valid and I require 2 week notice to quit, so no, I would not be refunding her money. I also explained that the reason I found a solution to the issue instead of just terming was because she would lose that money, and this way it wouldn't be a problem.

She is still trying to get the kids into new daycare next week, even though she knows I won't refund her money.

At drop off and pick up yesterday she was just as friendly as she always is. She let me know she still was hesitant about dcb being separated, but would see how the day went. He actually had a great day yesterday! I barely had to correct anything and he seemed to enjoy himself. I told mom that at pick up and she seemed happy that it went well.

This morning I get a text saying the kids won't be here today. No explanation or anything. Didn't say whether they would be here tomorrow either. I do have some of their things here (diapers, formula, coat, shoes) so I would think she would say something about coming to get their stuff if they were done, but who knows.

I tend to be a little paranoid anyway, so today, of course, there are so many things running through my head. I know how parents can (and do) call licensing with bogus claims when it comes down to money. I'm not really worried about licensing coming out. I already have a call in to my licenser, to explain the issue, and am just waiting for a call back. But, in my paranoia, my mind is conjuring up all the things they could accuse me of doing, that could make things really bad. I know whatever they could come up with wouldn't stick, as I KNOW I've done nothing wrong - but when it comes to kids, you're usually guilty until proven innocent. So, until I hear from her, or I see them tomorrow, I'm going to be stewing.

I honestly can't see her doing that. At best, I could see her calling licensing to see if it's against the rules to separate a child from the others. But I really don't know her very well, and I don't know her husband at all.

I've just read/heard too many horror stories to be able to relax today. I had a friend who lost her license and almost went to jail over false allegations. The whole thing was handled wrong, and it took MONTHS for her to clear her name.

Any tips to help me relax over this today?

[MsMe]

Some advice that I ahve seen here before is fo r you to call your state and let tehm know you are closing and are having payment.refund issues with a family. that way they have a heads up that the claim may be faulse.

Good luck!

[SandeeAR]

Your closing in a week anyway right? What's the worst that can happen, she pulls the kids and she calls licensing. They won't get to you in a week anyway. I've never seen any government agency work that fast! Plus you would get a peaceful last week.

[marniewon]

Your closing in a week anyway right? What's the worst that can happen, she pulls the kids and she calls licensing. They won't get to you in a week anyway. I've never seen any government agency work that fast! Plus you would get a peaceful last week.

Yeah, I'm not worried about licensing. Because of the friend I told you about in my original post, I'm worried about allegations in the abuse department. Like I said, I KNOW I've done nothing wrong to warrant any type of investigation, but if an allegation is made, no matter how stupid or far-fetched, it has to be checked out.

I wish I wasn't such a worrier, I tend to worry about the stupidest and most remote things. Things that would/could never happen, but I have a good imagination, I guess.

If I had refunded her money when she asked, I wouldn't be worrying about anything now, I'd just be looking forward to a calmer week next week!! Funny how money does strange things to people.

Editing to add: I don't know that she would do anything like that. That's the problem - I really don't know her well at all. I just know it's happened to other people, so that's why I worry now.

[tulip1969]

I am just like you and get paranoid over way too much. I would call her and see if you can get a feel for what is going on. Tell her you missed her child and want to make sure he is coming in tomorrow because you have a special something planned for the kids. I'm sure it is nothing. She knows you are closing so I really, really doubt she would call an abuse claim. Let us know what happens.

[wdmmom]

When I have issues with parents, I do my best not to let it get the best of me. I still have a business to run and kids to tend to. They sense tension so I try to keep the business side of my business aside from the task at hand: caring for the kids.

If the State shows up, they show up. I don't worry about it until it happens, if it happens.

Disgruntled parents and money issues make people do crazy things. Regardless if you are closing for good, you take the chance of getting turned in everyday. People just tend to get antsy as the last day gets closer and closer.

Best case scenerio: You got paid, they won't return and you won't be investigated.

[Christian Mother]

I would call the parent ask her how her children are and if they will be needing care tomorrow? You can make it sound you assumed they where out of care do to sickness. I always call after the kids go home to ck on the little guys and see how they are feeling and whether they will be in care the following day. You should be able to get a answer that way unless you get the answering machine.

[Missani]

I wouldn't worry too much. Usually that type of parent is "out to ruin your business" because "you took THEIR money." It's about money that they think they should have, and they know that the only way to get back at you is to make up a false story so that licensing comes out just HOPING that they will find something (anything) wrong. Since you are closing next week, this really wouldn't be a good way to get back at you. They are not usually looking to attack you personally...just your business. I'm sure things will be fine!

[marniewon]

Oh my gosh....I just got a surprise visit from my food lady and just about had a heart attack!!

I was just about at the point where whatever happens, happens and I wasn't going to stress over it anymore. And then that. LOL

I think I will contact mom and see if they are planning to come tomorrow, or next week. I'm just afraid that her answer won't put my worries to rest. I know, I need to put my big girl panties on and just get it over with.

I think I would feel better if licensing would return my phone call.

[nannyde]

You do have a chance that she is going to call in social services because she wants her money back. She changed what you told her (separate him) to separate him IN THE CORNER. In the corner is the money shot for her. If you do have to explain... make sure that they understand that she made that part up.

Not that it matters for you now... but no matter what you would have done she would want the money back. ANY kind of discipline is going to be a problem for her.

If you would have said: I've decided that in order to keep everyone safe that I'm going to separate the OTHER children for the next week and a half. I'm gonig to give Little Mister the entire playroom all to himself. I will keep the other kids secluded so they don't get hurt. He's a lucky little dude cuz he doesn't have to share a single toy... he gets everything he wants for the whole rest of the time he is here. He gets to eat when he wants... sleep when he wants... have whatever he wants whenever he wants it. I'm going to devote myself to givnig him minute to minute happiness. It's all about HIM for the next week and a half. The ONLY thing he can't have is access to the other kids.

She still would have wanted to pull him and get her money back.....

Even with giving him the sun and the moon... she still would want him to have "friends" to play with. She wants E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G for him. She doesn't want to hear that he is told NO in ANY way.

She doesn't have ANY problem with him hurting the other kids. He's a kid... he's a boy... kids will be kids... boys will be boys.

You notice she didn't spend a MINUTE discussing what she would do to DEAL with his poor behavior. She wanted to talk about what YOU do... not what HE does or SHE'S going to do.

She wants what she wants. She wants her money and her kids happiness. If calling the authorities for free will increase her chances even one percent... it's no problem. She's going to stick up for me and mines regardless of the agreement she had with you.

Bottom line is you are telling her and him NO and that has a price. She may try to turn your world upside down to get what she wants. You may get lucky and her just get bored with it or surrender. It could go either way.

If she was even half way decent she would have apologized for her kids horrible behavior... showed REAL concern for the safety and happiness of the OTHER kids... offered to pay you for the remainder of the time as a bonus ... and moved him into whatever situation she was going to next.

[cheerfuldom]

nanny's right. Its disheartening to have all that spelled out and know that parents don't really care at all about anything but the bottom line but its better that you prepare for the worse case scenario. maybe she will surprise you.

[marniewon]

Thanks everyone! And Nan, I know you're right.

I finally got to speak with licensing late this afternoon and she really put my mind at ease. I told her everything that had transpired and she agreed with me on my way of thinking.

I'm ready for whatever she can dish out now. She wants to call licensing, bring it. There is not one thing that I've done wrong.