Advice On DCB And What To Do

[godiva83]

I have this DCB who is almost 14months. He has been in my care since January full time...the issue is he is a very needy little guy who screams his head off all the time he cries\screams about everything! I talked to Mum in the beginning and she would always say he is teething or he hasn't seen his dad. For a few days and that must be affecting his moods. As I have been getting to know them better this is not the case- it is just his personality. His grandparents and own dad will not even look after him because he is just too much. He is here for about 10.5 hours a day and I would say 7 of those hours are spent being miserable. On the positive side, he is getting a wee bit better, he has started to sit in a high chair and eat some lunch with out having a huge melt down, he will come outside with out screaming (thank goodness for that) BUT he is getting under my skin and wearing my husband and my patients. Especially as my hubby works for the police he does work nights from time to time and this DCB constant screaming wakes him up.
I have been wanting to let him go from week 2, but everyone and myself keep saying it will get better--I am new to the home day care profession- but have been a supervisor in a large centre for 5 yrs or so and we never let a child go because of this reason (all children seemed to transition well or if they weren't the parent would remove them) I don't really know how to deal with this situation and to be honest scared and nervous to term. Care for this DCB. From day one I have told mum that DCB has been a challenge and isn't transitioning well and seems to be unhappy here- recently she confessed he isn't happy anywhere poor guy.
Any advice is appreciated.

[cheerfuldom]

well since he has been like this from birth and is like this every where else, nothing is going to change with time (well maybe a lot of time like a year). At least you know that it is not you or your environment. You have to decide what you can live with. I have had one child like this and I kept her for 18 months. Nothing every changed, I finally termed when she was more needy than my own newborn and I found out later that everything was exactly the same at the new daycare (glad I termed). You have given it several months with only a small amount of progress and it isn't fair for your family or the other kids to be around this amount of crying and unhappiness constantly. We ALL were so much happier here when my little cryer was termed. I have no regrets about that. As much as I cared about her, my sanity and my family and other DC kids came first. I would really do it now to because no wonder your husband is ready to kick the kid out himself. Thats too much stress for anyone to be working hard and then hearing a kid screaming when they are trying to rest up for a job like a police officer.

[mickey2]

I am in a very similar situation, My husband works night shift as well and I just signed on 2 dcbs 12 months and 2.5 years who did nothing but cry/have meltdowns/tantrums the first week and part of the second week. They were driving me and my husband crazy!

Last Wednesday I decided that when they came in the morning, (they arrive at 7 am) I would let them play a bit, give them breakfast and then for a nap. By 9 am they were both passed out but I had to wake them around 10 so they would still nap with the rest of the kiddies at 1. This was not working, they still both woke up so cranky!

Thursday when they came in, I immediately gave them breakfast and put them to bed. By 7 45 they were both sleeping and slept for 2.5 hours! Then at 2 (instead of 1 which is the normal time for naps) I put them both back down and the oldest slept for another 1.5 hours and woke up on his own. I had to wake the 12 month old when his mom came at 3 45. I did the same thing on Friday and it went well.

I think they are just both exhausted and require sleep!!!

Maybe your little one is just tired?

[texascare]

Sounds like you have my DCB!!!! I swear it is the same thing, just he is younger!!! It makes for a very long day when all they do is scream. I would suggest them talking to their pedi. Also he is at the stage for seperation anxiety. Do you know if he has done this all his life? Was he at another place before he came to you? I would get as much info as you can about him.

[MsMe]

I have a 3yr boy and a 1yr girl (siblings) that have TERRIBLE meltdowns. They DCB has been in my care since 6 wks and has been this moody since the first day he was here. I LOVE them both dearly and they are so sweet when they are beign good...they jsut happen to also be the worls most annoying children. ever. I will not term them but I have seen it effecting my passion for my job. I am exhausted and sometimes daydream about what the days would be like if we didn't ahve to tiptoe around them all day. Oh and did I mention that this is my family that NEVER misses a day NO MATTER WHAT! I also think this has soemthing to do with their actions and also why the parent s never spend any time alone with them.

[MaryPoppins]

I used to have a child like this. He could take a 4 hr nap after having a 2hr morning nap, no problem, and some days I just let him. When they left here each day, they were always going to go do something. On weekends, they were never home long enough for him to take a nap so he just didn't get one. The parents never put him to bed until 9:30 or 10pm and he would get up at 6:30. The kid was just plain exhausted and couldn't cope. Some people just don't understand that their children need a good 11 or 12 hours of sleep total in a day and that naps need to happen on a weekend too. The mom never understood why he could be so hard to handle either.

If I could get enough sleep in him, he was great. Usually Mondays and Tuesdays he had both morning and afternoon naps to recover from his weekends. By Wednesday, he was down to just the 4hr afternoon nap and usually Thursday and Friday he was okay with 3hr naps. He was never really a cheerful kid though. I was sort of glad to see him go off to preschool and when I've talked to his mom, she says he's just as hard to handle. What's sad is that he'll go to Kindy in the fall and he's going to have a VERY busy day there with NO nap whatsoever and I bet mom still keeps him up late & wonders why he isn't doing well.