Desperately Need Advice - Sick Kids

[robinsoninfl]

I have a 1 year old in my home right now along with my two children who are 6 and 21 months. He's been coming for almost 4 months now and he is constantly getting sick. I believe this is due to the childcare they use at the gym. Anyway, they are always coming to me and telling me his "allergies" are acting up but everytime they tell me that. My daughter gets an awful cold within a couple days after.

I'm starting to get incredibly frustrated with it. I do everything I can to keep them from grabbing each others cups, pacifiers, etc. but my daughter sees him put everything in his mouth and lately she's copying him. She'll take a toy from him thats in his mouth and immediately put it in hers and it just seems hopeless to even try! Last time he got really sick they called me in the morning and said he was up all night coughing and he sneezed this morning and his snot was green so they were taking him in. Then they told me he'd probably be at my house around noon..... Ummmmm.... does anybody else think that is terribly rude!

I was hesitant about it and didn't come right out and say, no he can't come today if he's having green discharge so I played around it a little and said, well lets just see what the doctor says is wrong first. It sounds like there may a sinus infection or something. So she said they'd get a dr.'s note and they did. Dr.'s note said nothing other than ok to go to daycare. Just allergies they tell me. 2 days later my kid is sick. Her cold lasted for 3 weeks. She finally gets better and 2 weeks later (Now Monday) they come in the morning and Dad says he's got a little runny nose but its just allergies. The kid sounded absolutely terrible. Horrible barking wet cough with a runny nose that I'm wiping every 2 min. Tues. morning they call and say he was up coughing all night and they are taking him in so he'll be late! Here we go again.

Mom texted me a few hours later and said he has another ear infection and Dad's staying home with him. I think there was more to it than that..... Wednesday morning my daughters cold symptoms begin. Head and chest congestion and a runny nose. Worse on Thursday... Friday evening she gets a fever and her throat sounds sore and hoarse. Motrin is barely doing its job of keeping the fever down for 6 hrs and tylenol does nothing. She sounds awful and I'm just pissed. She's rubbing her ears and very miserable.

I'm going to take her in tomorrow but my mommy protective nature obviously has me pretty pissed about this! I feel like I can't not take their kid over just a cold because they'd never be able to keep a job with how often their child is sick but I'm starting to think this just isn't worth it! Now my throat is hurting too.... I don't know what to do! I'm not a confrontational person and I hate to say no to anybody but I feel like I need to start standing up for the sake of myself and my families health! Need advice here! I'm ready to call it quits! My families health is worth more than $150 a week.

[PitterPatter]

I have a 1 year old in my home right now along with my two children who are 6 and 21 months. He's been coming for almost 4 months now and he is constantly getting sick. I believe this is due to the childcare they use at the gym. Anyway, they are always coming to me and telling me his "allergies" are acting up but everytime they tell me that. My daughter gets an awful cold within a couple days after.

I'm starting to get incredibly frustrated with it. I do everything I can to keep them from grabbing each others cups, pacifiers, etc. but my daughter sees him put everything in his mouth and lately she's copying him. She'll take a toy from him thats in his mouth and immediately put it in hers and it just seems hopeless to even try! Last time he got really sick they called me in the morning and said he was up all night coughing and he sneezed this morning and his snot was green so they were taking him in. Then they told me he'd probably be at my house around noon..... Ummmmm.... does anybody else think that is terribly rude!

I was hesitant about it and didn't come right out and say, no he can't come today if he's having green discharge so I played around it a little and said, well lets just see what the doctor says is wrong first. It sounds like there may a sinus infection or something. So she said they'd get a dr.'s note and they did. Dr.'s note said nothing other than ok to go to daycare. Just allergies they tell me. 2 days later my kid is sick. Her cold lasted for 3 weeks. She finally gets better and 2 weeks later (Now Monday) they come in the morning and Dad says he's got a little runny nose but its just allergies. The kid sounded absolutely terrible. Horrible barking wet cough with a runny nose that I'm wiping every 2 min. Tues. morning they call and say he was up coughing all night and they are taking him in so he'll be late! Here we go again.

Mom texted me a few hours later and said he has another ear infection and Dad's staying home with him. I think there was more to it than that..... Wednesday morning my daughters cold symptoms begin. Head and chest congestion and a runny nose. Worse on Thursday... Friday evening she gets a fever and her throat sounds sore and hoarse. Motrin is barely doing its job of keeping the fever down for 6 hrs and tylenol does nothing. She sounds awful and I'm just pissed. She's rubbing her ears and very miserable.

I'm going to take her in tomorrow but my mommy protective nature obviously has me pretty pissed about this! I feel like I can't not take their kid over just a cold because they'd never be able to keep a job with how often their child is sick but I'm starting to think this just isn't worth it! Now my throat is hurting too.... I don't know what to do! I'm not a confrontational person and I hate to say no to anybody but I feel like I need to start standing up for the sake of myself and my families health! Need advice here! I'm ready to call it quits! My families health is worth more than $150 a week.

Oh My I totally understand where u are coming from I have 1 little boy who is the same way but not sick as often as yours seems to be. BUT when he is sick she tries to claim allergies. I'm not a Dr but I don't think allergies cause thick yellow mucus or green for that matter. I asked my childs Dr about it and he tells me it probably is a cold or virus but if I send kids home everytime they have a cold I wont have a business. That pretty much shut me up and I just tried to deal with it as he has been my only child for a while. But now I have 2 new ones that started last month so when it starts again i will be sending him home. In my new 2011 contract it states that a child cannot attend daycare if they have any nasal drainage other than clear or a persistent runny nose. I do not have time to sit and continuously wipe their nose when I have other children in care that need my attention as well.

I hope some of the regular posters here have some good advise for u but that's just mine. I am far from perfect tho. I think I have posted more than my share of help me issues lately and they have all been wonderful!

[cheerfuldom]

Do you have any sort of contract or specific sick policies? You need to lay down some rules asap about what is and is not acceptable and if this little guy is too sickly to stay in your care, so be it. Your kids will get sick if you continue taking care of any other kids so that is something that you have to come to terms with on some level. It is a part of the job unfortunately. BUT admitting that you are non-confrontational and hesitant to set boundaries shows that this may not be the right job for you. It is never too late to say "hey this isn't working for me and we need to set up some new guidelines". this happens all the time even with well established daycares so don't feel like you have to remain silent or terminate. It is completely reasonable to adjust the agreements as your needs change. Also, I believe it was in nanny's blog about how to decide on doctor's notes and that might really help you decide on when to accept him back and when not too. The other thing to consider is that your own daughter may have a fragile immune system and daycare period may not be a good option for her. My younger was like that and last winter was a very long one for her. Unfortunately, we didn't have the luxury to stop doing daycare so the best I can do is crack down on my illness policy, keep things clean and hope for the best. Thankfully, this winter was much better! I do have one DC kid that does have allergies and this makes her really prone to other things like sinus/cold/upper respiratory issues. It could be a combination of things with this DC kid of yours.

[Unregistered]

Legally you aren't able to take a child with green discharge. Tell the parents that the state doesn't allow it and that he has to be symptom free for 24 hours. Even though the Dr. sent a note the green discharge is a no, no. What concerns me is how quick your daughter is picking the sickness up and how long it lasts. She shouldn't be coming down sick the next day it seems, maybe a week later and his sounds like it just last a day or two where hers is lasting a few weeks. Are they both exposed to other children in childcare that may be carrying the germs but not getting sick. I know that usually one will get sick, then a week later another one, and then the next week another one until it runs its cycle. Not everyone at the same time with colds unless its a very bad flu or something. You might ask the doctor and see what their opinion is. Also ear infections are not contagious. So unless he had something else wrong she wouldn't have been able to catch that from him.

[Unregistered]

Just spent the entire week in the hospital with my own baby due to Rsv/flu caught from daycare. Feeling pretty frustrated with a family similar to the one described. Had to close daycare all week put other parents out. I am so done with keeping sick kids who are "mildly ill" people don't get it!!!

[robinsoninfl]

Thanks ladies! Unfortunately the problem is not a lack of a sick policy. I do have a clearly stated sick policy in my handbook. The problem is that if I try to say his cold is too severe for him to be here they say it's just allegies. My daughter isn't getting sick the next day. It's usually 2-3 days after and there are no other kids in care and she doesn't go anywhere during the week. His colds are lasting more than a couple days too btw. More like 1-2 weeks min. I know the ear infection isn't contagious but I think she got one due to the severity of this cold! I just feel stuck because if I tell them no yellow or green discharge like the rest of you said, they'd be unemployed from missing so much work! So, yes I am doubting whether I want to continue this or not.

[boysx5]

I think this winter has been a bad one at least for me it has. I'm tired of taking sick kids in now a cold I can deal with but snot running down to their ankles is just too much. I had one who did this for a month I kept telling the parents to take him in they finally did and guess what he had strep and who knows what else they didn't tell me. I am going to send up a reminder about my sick policy and explain that I can no longer take them if they have a runny nose that requires me to wipe it all day long or is green in color. Its so frustrating I agree that they don't want to take days off but the child should come first.

[nannyde]

Thanks ladies! Unfortunately the problem is not a lack of a sick policy. I do have a clearly stated sick policy in my handbook. The problem is that if I try to say his cold is too severe for him to be here they say it's just allegies. My daughter isn't getting sick the next day. It's usually 2-3 days after and there are no other kids in care and she doesn't go anywhere during the week. His colds are lasting more than a couple days too btw. More like 1-2 weeks min. I know the ear infection isn't contagious but I think she got one due to the severity of this cold! I just feel stuck because if I tell them no yellow or green discharge like the rest of you said, they'd be unemployed from missing so much work! So, yes I am doubting whether I want to continue this or not.

Don't accept return to daycare notes without a DIAGNOSIS. If the diagnosis is something that is contagious then YOU decide whether or not the child can return.

I had a little boy in my care who I loved to bits but he was sick all the time. He was an infant when my ds was an infant. He brought every virus you could imagine and he would get it really bad. The parents divorced while they were in my care. The Dad had awesome parents (grandparents) and the Mom was not so awesome. I eventually had them every other week because the kids were week on week off with the Dad. I had them full time in the summer.

Well this kid was constantly sick coming from Mom's care. I finally had to make a decision that I had to separate him from the other kids every day. I made a rule with the Dad and Grandparents that he would have his own play yard and he would need to go two full weeks in my care without illness before I could mix him in with the general population.

From that point on the illness in the day care just came to a stop. He made it ONCE out of his own play yard when he made it two straight weeks. He was hospitalized twice with RSV and Rotavirus during this time.

I set up a 36 square foot play yard for him and kept it stocked with toys. I had it at the back of the playroom so he could see everyone but he couldn't touch anything the other kids had to play with. We cleaned his toys every day and rotated them out so he would always have something new. I attached little baskets to the back of his play yard and tried to have a big variety of different things every day so he would be happy. We gloved and masked with every diaper change and nose cleaning. We also gave him his own high chair and had him eat on one side of the kitchen when the kids were on the other.

It was what i had to do to survive. My own kid was getting sick from this kid constantly and we couldn't afford to just let the sib group go. Keeping him separated is what it took to keep us all safe and keep the income on both kids in the house. The Dad and Grandma were completely on board because they wanted to keep him away from anything he could catch from the other kids too. His immune system was so weak.

His Mom was very difficult to deal with. She would NOT get prescriptions filled and when she would she would not give him the meds or finish it. We would get medicine bottles that should have been half gone and they would have two or three doses out of it. The Dad tried to get social services involved to make her do the medical treatment but then she just started dumping medicine before she turned it over to him.

She loved taking him to the Dr and LOVED the hospitalization times but she didn't love doing the "taking care of a sick kid" part. We were all concerned that she had munchausen syndrome. It was a pretty tough case but putting in the separation from the kids seemed to make all the difference in the day care. We would get him well towards the end of the week and then a week later he would come back with something else. The summer times were way better because he just had weekends with her.

[mickey2]

I have this in my policy. Whether they have a doctors note or not makes no difference to me. It is my final decision whether I accept a child with a cold or "allergies" If I have to constantly stop every minute to wipe a snotty nose or remove toys that are covered in snot so the other kids don't get them and put them in their mouth it is too time consuming and takes away from other things I could be doing. Not to mention the extra 2 hours it takes to wipe down and disinfect everything they touched and played with.

Common Cold Policy

Children suffering from a common cold will be assessed on an individual basis.
Factors of consideration include the developmental level of your child in congruence with my ability to limit the spread of germs.

The younger your child, the more difficult it is to keep the spread of germs down. For example: hand to face contact, mouthing of toys, uncontrolled nasal discharge, uncovered sneezing and coughing etc.

(Also when caring for an ill child, the ability to provide high quality care to all of the other children is jeopardized)

A child may return when he or she is free from symptoms and no longer infectious. The child should also be well enough to actively participate throughout the day. In any case of serious or unexplainable illness, a doctor’s medical clearance may be required prior to admission back into care.

If you have any questions concerning this policy and whether your child should attend, please call me before bringing your child.

PLEASE BE COURTEOUS OF ALL CHILDREN IN MY PROGRAM, AND REFRAIN FROM BRINGING AN ILL CHILD UNTIL 24 HOURS HAVE PASSED SINCE ANY FEVER, VOMITING, DIARRHEA, OR ANY OTHER COMMUNICABLE SYMPTOMS HAVE OCCURRED.

[Kaddidle Care]

I think if the child is sick enough to warrant going to the Dr. then they shouldn't be bringing him in. He's probably picking up more germs at the Dr.'s office.

Make sure you are bleaching surfaces and if you see a toy go in the mouth, it goes into the dirty bucket for cleaning immediately.

This child with the "allergies", what type of allergy medication is he on? If his allergies are that bad he should be on something. What exactly is he allergic to? If it's pets and you have pets then he's not a good fit in your home. Just something to think about.

[PitterPatter]

I have this in my policy. Whether they have a doctors note or not makes no difference to me. It is my final decision whether I accept a child with a cold or "allergies" If I have to constantly stop every minute to wipe a snotty nose or remove toys that are covered in snot so the other kids don't get them and put them in their mouth it is too time consuming and takes away from other things I could be doing. Not to mention the extra 2 hours it takes to wipe down and disinfect everything they touched and played with.

Common Cold Policy

Children suffering from a common cold will be assessed on an individual basis.
Factors of consideration include the developmental level of your child in congruence with my ability to limit the spread of germs.

The younger your child, the more difficult it is to keep the spread of germs down. For example: hand to face contact, mouthing of toys, uncontrolled nasal discharge, uncovered sneezing and coughing etc.

(Also when caring for an ill child, the ability to provide high quality care to all of the other children is jeopardized)

A child may return when he or she is free from symptoms and no longer infectious. The child should also be well enough to actively participate throughout the day. In any case of serious or unexplainable illness, a doctor’s medical clearance may be required prior to admission back into care.

If you have any questions concerning this policy and whether your child should attend, please call me before bringing your child.

PLEASE BE COURTEOUS OF ALL CHILDREN IN MY PROGRAM, AND REFRAIN FROM BRINGING AN ILL CHILD UNTIL 24 HOURS HAVE PASSED SINCE ANY FEVER, VOMITING, DIARRHEA, OR ANY OTHER COMMUNICABLE SYMPTOMS HAVE OCCURRED.

I love how you worded that and explained in depth. I would love to put that in my contract. I already gave them the 2011 contract and already made an amendment due to a flood risk.

[cheerfuldom]

I think the main thing is deciding what you can and cannot put up with. Like nanny said, you CAN keep them separated completely but that is A LOT of work and it does depend on how much you need the income. If you term for constant illness, that is your right as well. Its completely up to you because you are right, nothing is going to change with these parents. They can't miss a ton of work and they are taking him to the doctor. some kids are just like this. There is another daycare out there that will put up with this if you aren't able to so don't feel bad to term.

[Meyou]

Discharge from allergies is not green....period. I've had a runny nose from allergies for the past 25 years so I should know. :P

Allergies symptoms are: clear runny nose, itchy, watery (clear) eyes, sneezing, coughing (due to mucous dripping down the throat), light sensitivity, feeling of fullness in the head(I always say it makes me feel stunned) and sometimes tiredness but that's usually just due to feeling like a bag of junk.

[PitterPatter]

Discharge from allergies is not green....period. I've had a runny nose from allergies for the past 25 years so I should know. :P

Allergies symptoms are: clear runny nose, itchy, watery (clear) eyes, sneezing, coughing (due to mucous dripping down the throat), light sensitivity, feeling of fullness in the head(I always say it makes me feel stunned) and sometimes tiredness but that's usually just due to feeling like a bag of junk.

Bag of junk ::

We need a thumbs up icon here like facebook has.

[dEHmom]

here's a great article, at least I think so.

http://nydailynews.healthology.com/childrens-health/article255.htm