what do you think about this email and response?

[nannyde]

yes I see what you are saying but to me, we (nanny and I, not me and the parents) are saying the same thing. I know why they are not sticking to the original plans. It is very obvious in the way she is treated by her parents in my presence. But not sticking to things is not sticking to things, regardless of the reason. So that still leaves me with the same choices, kwim?

Well friend,

If you set your sites on having your daycare just be kids that aren't spoiled children you are going to have a hard time staying in business. You can't take it personally or try to set a course to deconstruct it.

[cheerfuldom]

too true nanny. I have been doing my own in-home daycare for over 4 years and plenty of experience prior to that. I know too well how impossible it is to have a parent change anything unless they really want to. This email did not ask them to change anything (except to decide either A. help her learn to spoon feed or B. send food she can handle). I will definitely keep all the posters advice in mind, not take this issue personally, not expect them to change at all and to difuse the bomb that I might have unintentionally dropped. Thanks! Hopefully there will be a good update later!

[nannyde]

too true nanny. I have been doing my own in-home daycare for over 4 years and plenty of experience prior to that. I know too well how impossible it is to have a parent change anything unless they really want to. This email did not ask them to change anything (except to decide either A. help her learn to spoon feed or B. send food she can handle). I will definitely keep all the posters advice in mind, not take this issue personally, not expect them to change at all and to difuse the bomb that I might have unintentionally dropped. Thanks! Hopefully there will be a good update later!

Hey sweetie

It's a learning curve and four years into this is really really new. We ALL go thru this... and many of us didn't have the wisdom of experience to guide them thru it.

When you get advice like this... take what works for YOU and leave the rest. YOU know your peeps. You know their style.

You are going to make mistakes along the way.... we ALL have.. .including me... especially me.

[DBug]

I think Nanny (or someone else) may have mentioned this already, but the thing that gets me is that you're giving SO much control to the parents. It's your business, just run it the way you want to. If you want dcg on a cot, put her on a cot. If you don't want her to have the paci, don't give it to her. If you want her to self-feed, don't spoon-feed her.

Honestly, it really doesn't matter what the parents are doing at home. You're the one in control of how your day runs. I have one dcg that comes with a paci every morning and it gets popped back in at p/u. She doesn't need it here. I have another p/t dcg that sleeps 11-1 everyday she's at home, but sleeps 1-3 when she's here. I have one that uses the potty here but not at home. I have several that sleep on cots here and in cribs at home. I have one that will only eat beginner baby food at home, but here he's on the same table food as everyone else.

I would just be really worried that the parents would start to see you as a one-on-one nanny, completely concerned with JUST the needs of this particular dcg, and we all know home daycare doesn't work that way

[cheerfuldom]

DBug, you are right. I do sometimes end up being too accommodating at times. I completely agree with that. I am going to try and focus on only those issues that especially effect us here at daycare. To me, the food issue has to be addressed. The rest of the issues are items that we have talked about (mostly that DCM initiated) and this was my attempt to let her know the progress and make sure she didn't feel that I was disregarding previous conversations. It is very hard to balance TMI with not enough, being concerned versus being over involved, etc. I do appreciate all the feedback though.

On a positive note, she sent me another email confirming our meeting tonight. It was brief but upbeat so thats a good sign.

[Unregistered]

bomb diffused! long story short, all is well and we did end up having a nice chat. whewww!

[cheerfuldom]

bomb diffused! everything went well and we ended up with a nice chat. wheww!

[sahm1225]

glad everything went well. I was thinking about your post and crossing my fingers for you
\