I hope I don't regret it.

[KEG123]

So yesterday I had an interview for a 4 and 6 year old. Mom's 9 year old also came with. They acted like a bunch of BANSHEES! Mom said it was because 9 year old was there (who lives with his dad), he eggs them on, sets a bad example, etc. But I know better, it's all about parenting, right? Is it stupid of me to accept them into care? I mean, the 4 year has been in daycare (should I ask for their previous providers number?), the 6 year old is in school most of the day. So I *think* I'm willing to give them a 2 week trial and go from there. I am going to flat out tell her that their behaviour yesterday was NOT good and that they are on a 2 week trial so if things don't work, then bye bye.

But seriously, the kids were body slamming each other and hitting each other. She said it's because the dad of the oldest lets him watch WWF/WWE and he comes home and teaches it to the youngers. I do not tolerate kids touching other kids like that. I actually had to put the four year and AND the six year old in time out. They were ok with it, didn't really complain and understood why I put them there. Luckily I think that means that once they know my rules they can follow them, but wow. wow, wow, wow. I really just think they were testing the rules because mom and i were there (Changing of the guard anyone?)

I just hope I don't regret it. I'm so torn I stayed up late last night not able to sleep because this was all I could think about. I think by reading my own post I bet you all would say HECKS NO, but really... am I stupid for wanting to see how they do without mom there, without big brother there? Gahhhh.... I don't know.

[cheerfuldom]

I don't think you are crazy for offering a two week trial period. The worst that could happen is that you put up with the two weeks and then off they go. But like you said, some kids are VERY different when provided with clear leadership and structure so it may work out well. I have a 2.5 year old here that is an absolute monster with her parents and my easiest kid at daycare. If I saw her with her parents at an interview, I never would have taken her.

[nannyde]

Doesn't hurt to try it but let her know that you do a two week trial but if they are violent you won't even offer that.

Once she knows that you will take out for violence... if they are violent... she just won't enroll them. The only way to test her to see if they really are fine without brother and without her is to tell her she may have to find a new day care in one day if they act out.

She's most likely looking for one that will accept the violence and just want the money. There are a LOT of daycares out there that just want the money so she shouldn't have any problem finding one to use at least until someone actually gets hurt of the day care is at risk to loose other clients because of her kids. That takes TIME to happen. You are telling her you won't allow THAT TIME or grace period.

[MN Day Mom]

I don't see much harm in giving them the benefit of the doubt and starting out as a trial. Let her know that at any time during the two weeks you can give her notice.

I laughed at you giving them a time out during the interview... shows you are going to be in control

[dEHmom]

my VERY first interview, and very first family, was quite insane when they were here for the interview. Mom hung around a lot longer than you would've expected and I was of course new to the game, and just figured it's the territory.

The kids cousin was with them, and he was BAD. I had to deal with him, and the other one misbehaved a bit too, mostly just copy cat stuff.

I don't regret giving the family a chance, because they were great! (these were the kids who would run down the street, climb on the car, always taking off on mom, and were perfect angels for me).

Just the fact that you did the time out during the interview shows them you mean business, and if you have to do it even when mom is there, then they will respect YOU more than mom. So they probably won't pull the crap on the changing of the guard any more.

[KEG123]

Thanks all for not thinking I'm completely off my rocker for considering them. I plan to be very up front with mom about the issues I saw and that "just because they are siblings, does not give them the right to be physical towards each other- OR anyone else" And really, if any of them EVER laid a hand on my son, their heads would spin they'd be out of here so quick! My son is a very laid back and gentle boy. Luckily my two year old twins don't start until mid/late april, so this two week trial could be good in a way, to make sure they are well behaved and listen to me well enough to be with younger kids. My son turns 3 in a week but in lots of ways, still acts more like a 2 year old- after all he is my baby! (especially in comparison to this 4 year old who acts older because of having older brothers)

And yeah I felt like time out was DEFINITELY the right thing to do. I wished mom would have done it, but she WAS backing me up when I told him to go. The 4 year old body slammed the 9 year old and mom said "Hey- don't do that" and I stood up and went "We don't do that here, how about you sit on that blue chair over there and take a breather. You can get up when I decide you've calmed down enough" He looked at mom and she said "Go sit down, now."

Also as they were leaving, the boys apologized for being "bad" I said, so "what are you going to do next time you're here?" He said "be good" And then I said, well, "how do you do that?" And he said "Not jump all over the place and not hit my brother" (from the 6 year old) At least they were able to point out what they did wrong. :shrugs:

[KEG123]

Another thing, is that I really want to get mom over here to talk more about my policies (sans kiddos) because we really didn't get to talk much with how rowdy the boys were we were constantly having to watch them to make sure they weren't doing anything they weren't supposed to. There was a lot left unsaid, but I did give her a copy of my policies, hopefully she reads over it. She said she'd be calling back today or tomorrow.

[dEHmom]

Another thing, is that I really want to get mom over here to talk more about my policies (sans kiddos) because we really didn't get to talk much with how rowdy the boys were we were constantly having to watch them to make sure they weren't doing anything they weren't supposed to. There was a lot left unsaid, but I did give her a copy of my policies, hopefully she reads over it. She said she'd be calling back today or tomorrow.

She may be one of those moms who would really appreciate someone helping her to grow a backbone.

You may be surprised, or you may need to run for the hills.

If you've informed her of the trial, and that you can terminate at any time within the 2 weeks and she still signs with you, then you probably know she is hoping you can teach her children some respect.

also, make sure you REALLY stick to your guns with pay or no stay policy.

[KEG123]

Oh yes, I really really plan on doing all of this. Thanks for the advice everyone!