Playing

[Unregistered]

I have a group of boys all 3 and 4 who are really into playing cars and pretend play, they play very well together until another DCB age 21 months always disrupts them- knocking things down, taking their toys away or hitting them. I try to engage him in other ways but he always wants what they have. I feel like they never get time to engage in their playing cause we are constantly having to redirect the little one. Any ideas?

[SilverSabre25]

I have a group of boys all 3 and 4 who are really into playing cars and pretend play, they play very well together until another DCB age 21 months always disrupts them- knocking things down, taking their toys away or hitting them. I try to engage him in other ways but he always wants what they have. I feel like they never get time to engage in their playing cause we are constantly having to redirect the little one. Any ideas?

If you have a play yard or superyard or something, I would try gating the bigger boys into their own little area to play. Also, make sure that the younger boy has some cars of his own to play with in a different area. I'm sure he really wants to play with his friends, but just isn't going to be able to meet them on their developmental level. I have this problem all the time with my 3.5 yo DD and...well, all the other dcks, because they are younger than she is and no where near where she is, play-wise. I do think it's entirely appropriate to protect the bigger kids' play from the littler one/s.

[nannyde]

How many older boys and their ages?

[Unregistered]

There are 3 older ones- 3,3 and 4. And little one is 21 months.
Thought about gating him off but never thought about gating the 3 older ones to have their own space. Thanks

[AnythingsPossible]

I don't have a super gate, but do move furniture and playpens around to create area's for the older kids to build with blocks or play games. I have two infants who like to crawl to where ever the big kids are and knock their stuff around. It works very well. At first I tried blocking the infants into area's, but it works much better to give the big kids a small space and let the infants roam.

[Meeko]

I agree with the others here....find the big boys a space of their own. Little ones see confinement as negative, but the boys will probably love to have their own private den/hideaway/camp/big boy area. It will make them feel special!

[nannyde]

There are 3 older ones- 3,3 and 4. And little one is 21 months.
Thought about gating him off but never thought about gating the 3 older ones to have their own space. Thanks

I would set up the gated area and rotate the little one into the play of each one of the boys one by one.

First with the four year old and the 21 month old.
Then the next oldest with the 21 mo. old
Then the youngest three with the 21 month old.

They would all take their turns playing with him while the other two played together.

This is a VERY small age difference (21 month old to four). It's only in this last generation that we came up with a notion that kids this far apart are a "different" age group. They are not.

My ten year old was off on spring break a couple of weeks ago and I had one day when only one kid... a four year old .. was here.

My son and the four year old played together ALL DAY LONG... without a single hitch. Six and a half year age difference. They have both been raised to play with older/younger/same age etc. A kid is a kid at my house.

It doesn't matter what age group I put together... as long as all the parties can safely walk they play together every day. My nearly five year old played with a 22 month old for over an hour yesterday playing Melissa and Doug castle blocks.

The older ones need to show the 21 month old how to play toys even if it just parrallel play in the begining. The 21 month old will show the 4 year old ways of playing he never thought of before. It's the younger ones who really show the older ones how to do super creative play. It's okay for the older ones to have time every day where they do the challenging play of playing with someone who can't talk and do everything you can. Now THAT'S playin toys.

Are any of the three older boys your children? Often when providers have these issues they are trying to protect the happiness of their child in play. They know their child is happier with older kids first... then kids their "own" age. So to keep their kid happy they want the best playing kids with their own child.

Often providers feel that the reason they are home and doing care is to be home with their kid and they want their kid to be happy. If their kid is happy playing with their own age or older kids then this takes the burden off the provider to deal with the "home" behavior of their own kid. It can be the only break the provider gets from their own child.

So matching their own kid with the best playing older or same age kid is what works best for the provider and for their child. So when situations like this come up the real question is "how can I keep this little toddler from ruining my son/daughters good gig?"

Not saying this is your situation... Just a very common scenario I have seen over the years.

[Cat Herder]

Great post Nan.....

[Meyou]

I would set up the gated area and rotate the little one into the play of each one of the boys one by one.

First with the four year old and the 21 month old.
Then the next oldest with the 21 mo. old
Then the youngest three with the 21 month old.

They would all take their turns playing with him while the other two played together.

This is a VERY small age difference (21 month old to four). It's only in this last generation that we came up with a notion that kids this far apart are a "different" age group. They are not.

My ten year old was off on spring break a couple of weeks ago and I had one day when only one kid... a four year old .. was here.

My son and the four year old played together ALL DAY LONG... without a single hitch. Six and a half year age difference. They have both been raised to play with older/younger/same age etc. A kid is a kid at my house.

It doesn't matter what age group I put together... as long as all the parties can safely walk they play together every day. My nearly five year old played with a 22 month old for over an hour yesterday playing Melissa and Doug castle blocks.

The older ones need to show the 21 month old how to play toys even if it just parrallel play in the begining. The 21 month old will show the 4 year old ways of playing he never thought of before. It's the younger ones who really show the older ones how to do super creative play. It's okay for the older ones to have time every day where they do the challenging play of playing with someone who can't talk and do everything you can. Now THAT'S playin toys.

Are any of the three older boys your children? Often when providers have these issues they are trying to protect the happiness of their child in play. They know their child is happier with older kids first... then kids their "own" age. So to keep their kid happy they want the best playing kids with their own child.

Often providers feel that the reason they are home and doing care is to be home with their kid and they want their kid to be happy. If their kid is happy playing with their own age or older kids then this takes the burden off the provider to deal with the "home" behavior of their own kid. It can be the only break the provider gets from their own child.

So matching their own kid with the best playing older or same age kid is what works best for the provider and for their child. So when situations like this come up the real question is "how can I keep this little toddler from ruining my son/daughters good gig?"

Not saying this is your situation... Just a very common scenario I have seen over the years.

ITA. I was going to suggest teaching the little one how to play in a group but Nan's advice is eloquent as usual. My 22 month olds play with the 4 year olds quite a bit.

Sometimes the big kids ask me to keep the little ones away so they can build or setup something specific so I distract the little ones with a different activity. But most of the time the older kids either make room for the little ones or offer an alternative themselves. It cracks me up when I hear a 4 year old saying to a 2 year old something like, "Look DCG, dinkies are boring. You should play babies with DCG. Look I set up the stroller for you and here is a blankie and a baba."