End Of Day Craziness!!!!!

[Unregistered]

I have a 20 month old child that I dearly love and her mother is wonderful too.......at drop off. When it comes time to pick her up, her daughter that has been wonderful all day, has also just eaten a snack and had plenty to drink starts in as soon as mom comes in. She runs to the fridge, wants a bottle, wants more to eat. (Mind you, she has just eaten her snack and says I'm done and wants down from the high chair.) If she sees a pen, she wants to draw.....if she sees crayons, she wants to color. Mom helps herself to my fridge, fills up a bottle, fills a bag to put more snacks in for the short drive home. She wonders why her daughter doesn't eat dinner? She fills her up with snacks. Anyway, that's not the problem.

I have the daughter all ready to go and she finds a way to stick around and gives her daughter time to ask for all of these things........bottle.......takes around the house and lets it drip on everything......takes the food......cheese, crackers, etc, spits it out on the carpet, floor, couches, etc. I have asked her a number of times that she needs to sit in the high chair to do this. She's written on my couch with the pen mom has given her.......no! I don't allow pens in anyone's hands unless they are sitting in a high chair with paper. She sat on the kitchen floor cause mom gave her a pen and paper and started writing on the floor. What ever this child wants, she gets.

I am so frustrated!!! She proceeded to change her pants and for 15 minutes, the child screamed bloody murder because she doesn't want to be changed. She never does it for me....EVER!! Mom placed her in my pack n play for a short time out..........more screaming. By the time this whole routine was done, it had been about 40 minutes of screaming and crying. My feelings? Your kid needs to go home as soon as you get to my house. They want to see mom, love mom and play at home. I have tried to take all of the triggers out of my kitchen and front room to keep her from seeing certain things and getting her way. After today, I was ready to shoot myself.......not really, but I couldn't believe it. She says her daughter is high needs...........she is a normal child in everyway, except that mom gives her everything she wants. I love these people, but I am so fed up with the routine!!!! Please offer some advice!!!!! Anyone????

[nannyde]

The Dynamic Of Bad Behavior in Daycare - www.Daycare.com/nannyde/the-dynamic-of-bad-behavior-in-daycare.htm

This is an article explaining bad behavior at drop off and pick up. This part is about the parent who is your problem here.

The parent may have some other motivations for allowing it too. They may want the child to hang out at the day care before they go to work and after they are off of work because they are trying to get the kid off of their clock for as long as possible. There are certain segments of parent population who allow misbehavior at drop off and pick up as a stall technique to keep the child at day care longer. These are the ones that allow a wide breadth of time for their kid to be in care when they really only need nine hours. These parents will often pick providers with open hours so the parent can use time before work and after work to be at the provider’s house with the kid because they don’t want to be home with the kid by themselves any longer than they have to.

[SandeeAR]

Ummm, whose home is it? Your's or DCM? Take control and hand her off at the door. Don't even let her come in. If you choose to let her in, still take control, Tell her NO food and bottle, she just had a snack, if she wants more, she can have it at home. NO pens allowed, period! You have to take control. I have the final say on everything, until the door shuts behind them.

[cheerfuldom]

yup take control. I have a 2.5 year old here that is an absolute monster at pickups with her parents. Running around, not listening, horrible tantrums with hitting/spitting/the works. I started having her completely ready and at the door. I open the door, shove the kid out (not really) and then don't let them back in. After a moment or two if the parents want to chat or touch base, I let them know that I have to get back to the other kids and close the door on them. There is still numerous times when 20 minutes later, I look outside and see mom and dad struggling to get little angel in the car seat! Oh well, at least shes not in the house. Carry the kid to the door, open it up just wide enough to hand kid over, hand over diaper bag and then let mom know that you need to get back to the other kids and you will see them in the morning. If she has to come in for pickup, just keep telling kid no to all the requests, let mom know that snack time and play time are over, keep telling them things like bye and see you in the morning and herd them closer and closer to the door. If they still don't get the hint, let mom know that you have a new rule that pickups need to be within a few minutes and no snacks/bottles/play/diaper changes are offered once mom has arrived.

[Unregistered]

At a certain time I just say the kitchen is closed. No we can't get those toys out it's almost time to go home. I close all doors to all other rooms so child can't get to them. About 5 min to pick up I put shoes & coats on and have items to go home at the door. Child asks for something I say no it's time to go home. It always seems like the last child to go takes the longest to get out the door. If you don't feel comfortable saying to mom get a lock for fridge or gates so it's not accesible. She'll get the point. I send notes home on fri and anything I really don't want to say to parents I put in the note. Just a paper w/what child needs to bring the following week and any fees I'm owed. I'd just write something like....I am currently looking for ways to make pick-up go smoother for both parent and child, so starting ______ I will have child ready to go out the door when you arrive. That way you sound concerned for them. Idk just a thought.

[boysx5]

I would have her coat on ready to go we always wait in the foyer at pick up or if its nice we are outside so they go fast

[wdmmom]

I don't allow my parents to go beyond the foyer in my house. I greet them with their child at the door upon departure. Their shoes are on, they've been changed, and I usually will have their coat on. Departures take 1 minute at the most.

Greet mom at the door tomorrow telling her that DCG is ready. See you tomorrow. If she asks you anything or attempts to waste your time again...tell her...you made me late for an appointment yesterday with DCG's schenanigans. Tell her that her departure time is "X" pm and that if she persists on staying, she will be charged accordingly. Anytime you attach money to time, they'll leave! ::

[Live and Learn]

I don't allow my parents to go beyond the foyer in my house. I greet them with their child at the door upon departure. Their shoes are on, they've been changed, and I usually will have their coat on. Departures take 1 minute at the most.

Greet mom at the door tomorrow telling her that DCG is ready. See you tomorrow. If she asks you anything or attempts to waste your time again...tell her...you made me late for an appointment yesterday with DCG's schenanigans. Tell her that her departure time is "X" pm and that if she persists on staying, she will be charged accordingly. Anytime you attach money to time, they'll leave! ::

Do this, it works!

[Live and Learn]

I would have her coat on ready to go we always wait in the foyer at pick up or if its nice we are outside so they go fast

This is my daily routine...out the door in 30 seconds...."Hi, see ya tomorrow."
Zero drama!