One Of Those Weeks

[JeepGirl6]

I guess this week is going to be ONE of those weeks again....My boyfriend absolutely HATES his new job, He has been there for a week in half...He is an outside person, well the job he just got is in a cement factory, gloomy, grey, no windows...He said when he was at work today he didn't know if was sunny out because of how depressing it is in there...Well this (I thought) was going to be it for us, finally have insurance, retirement...so we could get married and start a family... Now I am just..Ahh..I want to just scream and cry at the same time...I don't want him to stick with something he hates...he loves being outside, he has a lawn care business, has had it since he was 17...so he has that to fall back on because he didn't give it up, but when winter comes, he doesnt have anything to fall back on( well me) ....then we will be without insurance again if he quits this job....

THEN I just found out that one of my parents ( with 2 siblings) just told me she doesnt need me after April for now ( she is a college instructor) and the college doesnt' need her during the day this summer, so that makes me out $600 a month, that is REALLY going to hurt!!!!

I am just so up in the air with this...I have been thinking I want to go back to school for my RN ( for good pay, I want to work at a childrens hospital, insruance, retirement) and TRY to do my daycare during the day and go to school in the evenings...maybe drop my daycare to 3 days a week instead of 5 so it's not so hard on me...but then I start talking to my boyfriend about wanting to have a kid after we get married, hopefully a year or so from now...I do not want to wait until I am 30 to have our first child..I am 25 now....he doesn't even want to think about that he says, not until the time comes to have to think about it...My thing is wondering how hard it will be to go to nursing school, finding daycare in the evenings while I go to school and whether or not we will have insurance or not..I don't know what to think!!!!! I just wish this job worked out for my boyfriend so we could get married, have a kid then I could go get a job at the hospital as Medical Assisting making $13.00 an then down the road think about nursing...we will get the benefits from the hospital...but then how hard will nursing be working at a hospital full time????Where now I would be able to study and do homework while the children sleep if I continue with my day care....Sorry for the long rant...I just don't have anyone to talk to , my boyfriend doesn't want to hear it anymore because he hears it ALL the time...

[Michael]

Things always work out in the end. Maybe your husband can stay at his job with the intent of finding something better when it becomes available. He has to look at the positives of his current job not the negatives knowing that it is only temporary. He has to put his family first.

[jen]

So you didn't ask, and I hope your not offended, but here is my advice to you...

Don't bring up marriage or children to your boyfriend for a bit. I know from your other posts that you are anxious to begin your married life, and I totally get that. You mentioned, I believe, in another post that the more you bring up marriage, the more he puts it off? Talking about having children and when to have children, is probably going to create the same obstacle. Especially, if right now he isn't feeling settled in his own life. Try to avoid the topics of marriage, retirement, and children ALL TOGETHER.

Use your time and energy for what you can do on your own, activities that will make your life better today, regardless of what happens tomorrow. If that is school, GO FOR IT! You will never regret having having a job you enjoy, with good pay and benefits, and then it will be there whenever you are both ready for the next step.

I think you mentioned (in another thread) that you wanted to be more physically fit? Do that too! You'll look and feel fabulous and it will help relieve stress.

You sound like a wonderful girlfriend and I remember from your other posts that your bf was definitely committed, but that he too was trying to figure out today. I'm a planner like you and it can be totally frustrating when others don't operate in the same way. So plan away, but just do it for yourself. Once he sees how you are thriving, maybe he'll figure out is path as well.

[MN Mom]

So you didn't ask, and I hope your not offended, but here is my advice to you...

Don't bring up marriage or children to your boyfriend for a bit. I know from your other posts that you are anxious to begin your married life, and I totally get that. You mentioned, I believe, in another post that the more you bring up marriage, the more he puts it off? Talking about having children and when to have children, is probably going to create the same obstacle. Especially, if right now he isn't feeling settled in his own life. Try to avoid the topics of marriage, retirement, and children ALL TOGETHER.

Use your time and energy for what you can do on your own, activities that will make your life better today, regardless of what happens tomorrow. If that is school, GO FOR IT! You will never regret having having a job you enjoy, with good pay and benefits, and then it will be there whenever you are both ready for the next step.

I think you mentioned (in another thread) that you wanted to be more physically fit? Do that too! You'll look and feel fabulous and it will help relieve stress.

You sound like a wonderful girlfriend and I remember from your other posts that your bf was definitely committed, but that he too was trying to figure out today. I'm a planner like you and it can be totally frustrating when others don't operate in the same way. So plan away, but just do it for yourself. Once he sees how you are thriving, maybe he'll figure out is path as well.

This is excellent advice!

When I was young(16)...I, too, was anxious for marriage and a family. I had met the man I was going to marry, and I was going to be damned if anyone or anything stopped me. I wanted to plan EVERYTHING. I pushed and pushed. I lived my life for him, and for getting married, and for having kids. I am 30 now, and boy oh boy! I love my kids, and my husband...but if I could have a do-over, I wouldn't have pushed so hard, and planned so much. I would have lived for me first, him second and would have let things just happen naturally.

I don't doubt that you know what you want. Please take it slow, don't push, and learn to be patient and happy with where you are now. Make sure you do things to make you happy. I find that If I just start "doing" things...hubs eventually follows. May take him awhile, but he gets there eventually

[momatheart]

So you didn't ask, and I hope your not offended, but here is my advice to you...

Don't bring up marriage or children to your boyfriend for a bit. I know from your other posts that you are anxious to begin your married life, and I totally get that. You mentioned, I believe, in another post that the more you bring up marriage, the more he puts it off? Talking about having children and when to have children, is probably going to create the same obstacle. Especially, if right now he isn't feeling settled in his own life. Try to avoid the topics of marriage, retirement, and children ALL TOGETHER.

Use your time and energy for what you can do on your own, activities that will make your life better today, regardless of what happens tomorrow. If that is school, GO FOR IT! You will never regret having having a job you enjoy, with good pay and benefits, and then it will be there whenever you are both ready for the next step.

I think you mentioned (in another thread) that you wanted to be more physically fit? Do that too! You'll look and feel fabulous and it will help relieve stress.

You sound like a wonderful girlfriend and I remember from your other posts that your bf was definitely committed, but that he too was trying to figure out today. I'm a planner like you and it can be totally frustrating when others don't operate in the same way. So plan away, but just do it for yourself. Once he sees how you are thriving, maybe he'll figure out is path as well.

I agree with this too.
One day at a time. You remind me of myself when I was younger. Wanting marriage and family and all.
It seems to me and I could be wrong that you want to be a few years ahead of where you are right now in your life. Married and baby on the way and right now that is not where you are. This will happen you are in a committed relationship. Right now things are not where you want them to be in your plan and I get how frustrating that can be. I have been there.

Maybe you should register for school and go for your RN after this daycare family leaves. Why not do school and apply at a center for a pt job while going to college.

[JeepGirl6]

Thank you for your responses, I really appreciate, you ladies make a lot of sense

Well...my boyfriend is staying at his position until he finds something else and we get a few things straightened out at least...Our house payment is $772 a month, so now since he has a full time job, he has to have one month of pay stubs and then we can refinance which will lower our monthly payment down to $520...So that will be great!!

I think I am holding off on nursing school for now, I just don't know if this is the right time to go with us trying to figure out life....

We do hopefully plan to get married this year, I told him I would like to get married in August and he told me I could start planning if I wanted to, but I want him to ask me first and I told him that

About 2 hours ago, Childrens Hospital called me about a position I applied for a month ago....3 days a week, 10 hours shifts...That means I could still continue to do my daycare the other two days a week, hoping that the position is the same 3 days every week which I will need to ask at the interview...I really feel that I need to do this so I stop having doubts and just go for it....I am going to feel horrible doing this to the parents again if I get offered the position....Wish me luck