Would You Force A Change In Schedule Due To Behavior?

[daycare]

I have a dcb age 4.5 who I cannot seem to get his behavior under control. From previous advice from everyone here, I have managed to arrange for someone to come in from the school district to conduct an evaluation on him. But this is still months away.

The kid comes full time. Mom works half days on Fridays. She used to pick him up right after lunch around 12:45, but now that DCD had moved out of state, she has no free time to herself. I told her that she can just pick him up after nap time so she can have some time to herself. Lately he is here until 4:30-5:00 pm. Oh and I also give her a HUGE discount.

I hate that I am too nice sometimes…. Anyways, I was thinking that I am going to ask her to start picking him up again after lunch on Fridays, because I just cant handle him anymore and I am not getting the pay to deal with this. Do you think that would be a fair thing to do?

[youretooloud]

Since you are not getting the compensation to deal with it, I think it's perfectly reasonable. She's taking advantage by leaving him there so late on Friday, she could come at 3:30, but, she's chosen not to. She says she doesn't get a break,.... but, working is a break from him. She might not have a break to get errands done, but she's getting a break from her high needs child. You need a break too.

[daycare]

Since you are not getting the compensation to deal with it, I think it's perfectly reasonable. She's taking advantage by leaving him there so late on Friday, she could come at 3:30, but, she's chosen not to. She says she doesn't get a break,.... but, working is a break from him. She might not have a break to get errands done, but she's getting a break from her high needs child. You need a break too.

thanks for the feed back.. Now I just have to figure out how to drop the bomb on mom...

[MN Day Mom]

Have you shared your struggles with this child with his mom? If so, I would simply tell her that due to his behaviors you want to convert back to the original schedule to spare your mental health.

[daycare]

Have you shared your struggles with this child with his mom? If so, I would simply tell her that due to his behaviors you want to convert back to the original schedule to spare your mental health.

Oh yeah mom know about the struggles. She has them as well. He has always been this way from day one, but I could not bear to turn him away when I found out that he was kicked out of 5 other daycares in 1.5 years. The mom is super sweet and never a rule breaker. In fact she will often buy things for the DC without my asking or bring home made treats.

[MN Day Mom]

Oh yeah mom know about the struggles. She has them as well. He has always been this way from day one, but I could not bear to turn him away when I found out that he was kicked out of 5 other daycares in 1.5 years. The mom is super sweet and never a rule breaker. In fact she will often buy things for the DC without my asking or bring home made treats.

Okay so mom knows how fortunate she is to have you... she won't want to risk losing you, so yep, I would just tell her that you need to revert back to the old schedule.

Good Luck!! I've kept difficult kids in the past out of niceness and worry about how the child would be treated or survive else where... its hard and makes our days much harder...so do what you can for yourself now... give yourself that 1/2 day of being free of him... mom will understand

[daycare]

Okay so mom knows how fortunate she is to have you... she won't want to risk losing you, so yep, I would just tell her that you need to revert back to the old schedule.

Good Luck!! I've kept difficult kids in the past out of niceness and worry about how the child would be treated or survive else where... its hard and makes our days much harder...so do what you can for yourself now... give yourself that 1/2 day of being free of him... mom will understand

I wonder what used to happen to him in the past due to some of his reactions after doing something really bad. I do feel for him, as he has been through a lot.

I even take him for free on Sundays some times, becuase I know that he sits in front of the TV all weekend......

That has to stop too......ugh... I need a backbone...

[nannyde]

I have a dcb age 4.5 who I cannot seem to get his behavior under control. From previous advice from everyone here, I have managed to arrange for someone to come in from the school district to conduct an evaluation on him. But this is still months away.

The kid comes full time. Mom works half days on Fridays. She used to pick him up right after lunch around 12:45, but now that DCD had moved out of state, she has no free time to herself. I told her that she can just pick him up after nap time so she can have some time to herself. Lately he is here until 4:30-5:00 pm. Oh and I also give her a HUGE discount.

I hate that I am too nice sometimes…. Anyways, I was thinking that I am going to ask her to start picking him up again after lunch on Fridays, because I just cant handle him anymore and I am not getting the pay to deal with this. Do you think that would be a fair thing to do?

I would just tell her you are no longer able to offer the free Friday after lunch hours as of this Friday. You don't have to be specific why. It's a free service so you are at will to offer it or not offer it.

[Crystal]

LOL! This is funny after the thread about face time with parents the other day. !

[Crystal]

Sorry, I should add that it's pretty simple. I wouldn't say it's about behavior, I'd simply state that you are no longer offering free fridays (or Sundays) and let her do what she will with it.

[daycare]

Yes it is funny especially considering all the talk about face time. I would love for him to be with his mom more. This is a really difficult situation, as my little guy loves to play with him. It's a bitter sweet.
I coach their baseball team and this is most of the reason he is here on Sunday's. You are right I'll just have to put it plain and simple. Thanks

[Crystal]

Yes it is funny especially considering that I would live for him to be with his mom more. This is a really difficult situation, as my little guy loves to play with him. It's a bitter sweet.

awwwww.....bummer

[daycare]

So I guess maybe that's a question what do you do when you want more face time, but then know that the child is cared for better when they are with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm better than the parents, but I know that this kid is better off here sometimes.. And it's nothing regarding abuse or neglect at home.

[nannyde]

So I guess maybe that's a question what do you do when you want more face time, but then know that the child is cared for better when they are with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm better than the parents, but I know that this kid is better off here sometimes.. And it's nothing regarding abuse or neglect at home.

The only way for them to get better at it is to do it.

[daycare]

True. I never looked at it that way.
I just always feel bad knowing that he is alwYs thrown in front if the tv all weekend and has no outside playtime or interaction with his mom. Well unless he's in trouble for something, which us often.

I need to learn to let go.

I just want to keep all of them.... Lol.