Seriously.... What Is Wrong With Parents?

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

i agree. if you're unwilling to offer WATER as an alternative then it's not the child nor the parent who has issues, it's YOU. nobody is saying if a kid doesn't want milk that you have to waste a glass of milk, give them kool aid, or let them drink coke. but you CAN save your milk by NOT pouring it if you know they won't drink it (or by pouring a veeery small amount if you MUST) and then offering water as an alternative. it's WATER. i would love to know the reasoning behind not allowing a child WATER instead of a more expensive drink. amuse me.

This makes sense...but when you're on the food program you have to offer 6 oz of milk for preschoolers, and have water available all day. We have a dcb who won't drink milk (he used to throw a fit if our menu had something else besides milk on it, meaning we didn't offer milk at that snack. But then all of a sudden, he's switched it and doesn't want to drink milk, will only drink juice, or once in a great while, water. so we asked our food program people about it, thinking why waste the milk if he won't even drink it? But they said "offer it" meant actually having it (the full amount) poured in their cup and sitting in front of them. So dcb comes in with juice filled to the brim in his sippy cup, and drinks it until a snack or meal comes up. If the snack includes juice, great. He gets to drink juice. But with meals we have to offer milk, meaning we have to waste it each and everyday, each and every time we sit down for breakfast or lunch. It's not us, the providers, being stubborn over it. We're just following the rules of the food program, and wishing we didn't have to waste so much food and milk when we KNOW the child won't eat or drink a certain item.

[QualiTcare]

you can't have it on the table for them to pour themselves? i've seen programs do family style dining who were on the food program. preschoolers are capable of pouring a cup of milk, water, etc. and that way if they don't want it they don't have to pour it - but it was offered simply by being there.

[Jewels]

I am on the food program, and I'm sorry but I can not imagine my food program lady getting up and inspecting each cup of the childrens and what goes in it, She just looking to see whats out there, I have a child who does not drink milk, So I never give him a cup, he gets water and thats all the parents give him also, he wont even look at a cup with white stuff, And I really can't imagine this being a problem even on a drop in visit, what are they going to do, Food program: "This child does not have milk, why not?"
Me: I OFFERED but he cries at the sight, so I gave him water" Food program :" Oh thats it, I must write you up immidiately!, expect a certified letter in the mail talking about you disqualification" LOL sorry but really, every child has milk but one or two, like they are going to get into that, and anyways once my children finish their milk, they get water, if she came in during that, she wouldn't see anyone with milk.

[dEHmom]

so, company comes over to my house in the evening, there's a pot of coffee I've made in case someone wants....

1) do I pour everyone a cup and then hand it to them?

2) do I "OFFER" to pour them a cup?


Seems stupid that anyone would expect the milk to be poured into the cup simply to be thrown away.

Offering means just that, OFFERING to pour them some milk if they want some.

My kids HATED water for so long, because I rarely ever offered it to them. I hate water my self, so I didn't really think about it. NOW they drink it like it's going out of fashion. It's amazing how much they choose water over sweet drinks. Take them to 7-11 and they choose a bottle of water instead of slurpee (usually). OR they choose chocolate milk over slurpee anyday.

[jen]

My food program lady would totally look in the cups. She showed up once and I had made lunch early so she looked in my garbage to verify my menu.

If you have a kid who doesn't want milk, you should just get a note from Mom and Dad and stick it in the file.

[Unregistered]

Sounds like you might b the one fighting the silly battle. Who cares if she doesn't drink milk? Let her drink water instead. Water is practically free so if that's not an option its clear there's more than a stubborn child here.

Actually milk is required on the food program so NO I can't and NO I won't offer her water simply because she doesn't like it.

[Unregistered]

The reason I have a problem with this is because if my parents dont trust me with their kids, why have me as their provider? I would hope that the parents trust me and know that I would never force something on them. I have a parent right now Im dealing with like this. She likes to say things like this to me and it irritates the crap out of me because I feel like she thinks I would do something on purpose to upset or hurt her child when if thats the case, why is your child coming to my home every day?? I dont know. This kinda hit home for me because Im dealing with a parent with similar issues.

I agree. If they don't trust me enough to know (its in my policies for god sake) that I'm not forcing them to drink it then they should take their child elsewhere. Seriously, if you want to come run my daycare then you are more than welcome to do so but since you choose to send your child to my house then trust what happens here is appropriate and in the nest interest of EVERYONE!

I did term someone (with NO NOTICE) when they came in my house 3 days in row questioning everything their 2.5 yr old daughter told them about their days at daycare. After the 3rd day (drop off and pick up) of interrogation I politely told her that it sounded like she didn't trust me and would need to take ____ somewhere else immediately. This lady was upsetting the kids and another parent mentioned it made her uncomfortable. The mom I termed was pissed but honestly have you heard the make believe stories kids tell all day, don't you think they do that about daycare too. Come on people.

[Jewels]

Actually milk is required on the food program so NO I can't and NO I won't offer her water simply because she doesn't like it.

Wow won't offer water?? Are you the original poster? Because I'm thinking this parent was correct in questioning you........thats un freaking believable, will not Offer water, how mean can you be. Theres a word for you I would like to use.

[jen]

Actually milk is required on the food program so NO I can't and NO I won't offer her water simply because she doesn't like it.

Out of curiosity may I ask why?

(Also, I realize that there is at least one poster here who is being rude as usual, but that isn't my intention, I'm genuinely curious.)

[Jewels]

I agree. If they don't trust me enough to know (its in my policies for god sake) that I'm not forcing them to drink it then they should take their child elsewhere. Seriously, if you want to come run my daycare then you are more than welcome to do so but since you choose to send your child to my house then trust what happens here is appropriate and in the nest interest of EVERYONE!

I did term someone (with NO NOTICE) when they came in my house 3 days in row questioning everything their 2.5 yr old daughter told them about their days at daycare. After the 3rd day (drop off and pick up) of interrogation I politely told her that it sounded like she didn't trust me and would need to take ____ somewhere else immediately. This lady was upsetting the kids and another parent mentioned it made her uncomfortable. The mom I termed was pissed but honestly have you heard the make believe stories kids tell all day, don't you think they do that about daycare too. Come on people.

These parents do not spend days with us, they meet us a few times, and then drop their kids off, to pretty much a stranger, hoping they will be safe, but in reality, they have no idea what happens when they leave. They don't know that their daughter is being forced to drink milk at lunch, without the offer of even water. I'm sure there are plenty of parents right now, thinking they trust their provider when they probably shouldn't, Think TATA, I'm not comparing you to her, but I bet they all trusted her, How can you trust someone 100% with your child after only meeting them a couple times, do you ask for their life story? you just get a feeling and think she seems like she'll be great and care for my child, she has a nice clean home and what seems like a great program, lots of stuff for the kids to do..... and then you hope to hell that your intuition was right.

[Unregistered]

I would move my child if he/she couldn't have water to drink.

Actually milk is required on the food program so NO I can't and NO I won't offer her water simply because she doesn't like it.

Do you have your own children? How would you feel if your child was in a daycare home and was being forced to drink something he/she hated, or go thirsty? It's simple. "so and so, would you like some milk? No? Okay, here is some water." You offered. It seems to me like you are hiding behind the "food program" excuse and just trying to control this child. The food programs are there to help ensure that kids get healthy food, not force them to go hungry or thirsty because they don't like one thing. Sheesh.

[Country Kids]

My question is does this child even drink water? Everyone is saying offer water but what if she doesn't drink that. I know of MANY children that if it isn't juice or chocolate milk they won't touch it. Many years ago my mom offered a little boy water to drink and he didn't even know what it was! So by saying offer water isn't correct because she may not even drink it. Also in my state you have to offer/pour milk for the child to drink. It is up to them if they want to drink it or not.

[QualiTcare]

the OP hasn't said that she won't offer water because the child won't drink it. she pretty much just says, "i'm not offering her water just because she doesn't like milk."

seriously? you have to pick your battles and trying to control a child to the point that you won't let them drink WATER is not a battle i'd choose. it's not like she's wanting coke or kool aid instead of milk. you won't offer her WATER. i agree - the parent was right in questioning why.

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

I don't know how everyone else's food programs are, and maybe it's just according to the individual in that food program that you ask, but we specifically asked our food program lady about what if a child doesn't like the milk, or food being offered, and we KNOW they won't eat it/drink it, and they've already told us they won't, can we just set it out so they can serve themselves what they want? They told us no, that because of the portion sizes required of each item, we have to serve it ourselves to make sure they get the full amount "offered" to them, on their plate in front of them (Or in their cup sitting in front of them). So all we are allowed to do about meal times and children not wanting milk is to waste it. Pour it into their cup and sit it in front of them. Only after the meal is over can we give them water instead. We can, of course, give them water AFTER they've already drank the required amount of milk. Just not before. Dumb I think, but I understand why the op wasn't too happy with being questioned about something out of her control anyway. I believe, too, that we shouldn't cater to the children just because they're picky. If they don't want to eat any of the food offered on their plate, that's up to them. But I'm not making a whole other meal, or even one food, just because they don't like anything offered. And I won't give several helpings of one particular food, to fill them up just because they won't eat anything else on their plate. It's their choice to eat and get filled up on what's offered. Otherwise they can wait a couple hours and eat the next meal/snack. They certainly won't go hungry or thirsty when we eat every couple of hours! and have water available at anytime throughout the day.