RSV+ But Mom Keeps It From Me!!!

[TBird]

do doctors charge for doctors notes?

I know plenty of doctors would willingly write a doctors note because it's extra money coming into their clinic. I don't always trust doctors to use best judgement. Sometimes they are just looking for turnovers, and want you in and out as fast as possible so they tell you something, write something, and kick you out.

Thank goodness they don't charge here for doctor's notes. My son needs one written and faxed to the school nurse every year for his nebulizer medications. The office is so gracious and nice about it. They even offer to call me after it's been faxed but I don't put them through the extra trouble. I couldn't imagine them charging for that....that is so wrong!!!

[marniewon]

I don't think it's right that you are the only personal responsible for the health of all in your care. YOU can't know how the child was feeling the night before, therefore the parents are responsible for letting you know.

How can *I* as the provider act responisibly without all the pertinent information?! I can't! I would have allowed him back into care today!!! Would have maybe been mildly annoyed by the fact that he is coughing all over the place, but not aware of the serious ramifications that could come from it! To me, it would be HER liability if she didn't tell me! She flat out LIED to me! So why would she lie to ME, but tell someone else if not to cover it up so he could come to daycare?!?! Negligent! I think I am going to have to terminate. I don't know how I could ever trust her again!! I am still so mad!!

You are both absolutely right, that's why I said:

It IS her responsibility to convey her child's diagnoses to the provider and keep him home when sick, but that is where her responsibility ends.

Morally she should care about the other children and care that her actions could make them ill or worse. Too many parents just don't care, unless it affects herself (unable to work) or her child (sick - so she's unable to work). There are some great parents out there, which is why I would so get rid of one who lied straight to me and was willing to bring a very contagious and dangerous (to some) illness into my daycare.

[Unregistered]

term won't solve the exposure

There are two issues here:

RSV is really common, the exposure already happened, and you can't prevent anything by terming.

You have an immune compromised child in your care with other healthy kids. Send home a memo, ask that it be FWDed to the kids MD's (If they are in your contacts, send it on to the MDs). Everyone should be on the look out to reduce exposure for this child.

The Immune compromised child is not safe anywhere during RSV season.

http://www.cdc.gov/rsv/clinical/prophylaxis.html

That child should be taking preventative treatment, and if it is deemed unsafe for that child, that child should be in a private care situation.

You need to protect everyone, and you can't send all your other kids home for a week over every illness.

I would not term, or ignore a return to care note from a MD who was informed of the situation.

I Would inform icdck's parents immediately.

[Live and Learn]

If you lie to me you are outta here. Period.

[AfterSchoolMom]

She didn't have much to say, except to complain that she was going to have to miss work!!!!!!

I would have said that you should maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and that maybe she didn't know how serious RSV is...but the quote above seals her fate IMO. She lied to you about the cough because she didn't want to miss work. No thought beyond that. That would be grounds for termination for me.

[sahm2three]

Does this letter to the families sound ok? I love the little guys so much that is home with RSV, so it makes me sad to think of terming him. But how can I trust her? Unless I give her a warning and then just term the next time she doesn't follow one of my policies? Ugh, I don't know. Anyway, here is the letter I wrote. Make any suggestions you think I should make:

Dear daycare families;

I am writing this letter to make sure that everyone knows how important it is for me to be on the top of the list of people who know what is going on in your childs health. Your child is exposed to many other kids and many germs. I do my best to keep the germs to a minimum, but there is no way I can keep the germs away completely.

It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure I know the whole story when your child is sick. I cannot act in the best interest of the group and each individual child if I only know a portion of what is going on. Do you know how terrible I would feel if something were to happen to a child in my care as a result of allowing the sick child back into care without knowing that what they have? We have infants in care who are vulnerable. We have a special needs child on oxygen that is vulnerable. Your young child could be the one vulnerable. I am asking you to all act responisibly where you childs health is concerned. For your childs sake and the sake of the other children in care. The best place for a sick child is at home with mom or dad to love on them. Not in daycare.

I am now going to ask that if your child has been sick enough to take to the doctor, I will need a note from the doctor telling me what the diagnosis was and when the doctor suggests they can be safely permitted back into daycare. I will not allow your child back in without a note. At that point, depending on the diagnosis, I will then make my decision as to when I feel they can safely be admitted into care again. I have all of the kids best interest at heart here. I am not trying to be difficult. I love all of the children dearly, and would be devastated if something happened to any one of them!

Finally, if I am to find out that your child's diagnosis has been kept from me, it will be up to me whether you will be able to continue to bring your child to my daycare. It is a trust breech, I have to be able to trust you. If I give you a warning, it will be your ONE AND ONLY warning. The next breech will result in IMMEDIATE termination.

Thank you for your compliance.

[dEHmom]

Does this letter to the families sound ok? I love the little guys so much that is home with RSV, so it makes me sad to think of terming him. But how can I trust her? Unless I give her a warning and then just term the next time she doesn't follow one of my policies? Ugh, I don't know. Anyway, here is the letter I wrote. Make any suggestions you think I should make:

Dear daycare families;

I am writing this letter to make sure that everyone knows how important it is for me to be on the top of the list of people who know what is going on in your childs health. Your child is exposed to many other kids and many germs. I do my best to keep the germs to a minimum, but there is no way I can keep the germs away completely.

It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure I know the whole story when your child is sick. I cannot act in the best interest of the group and each individual child if I only know a portion of what is going on. Do you know how terrible I would feel if something were to happen to a child in my care as a result of allowing the sick child back into care without knowing that what they have? We have infants in care who are vulnerable. We have a special needs child on oxygen that is vulnerable. Your young child could be the one vulnerable. I am asking you to all act responisibly where you childs health is concerned. For your childs sake and the sake of the other children in care. The best place for a sick child is at home with mom or dad to love on them. Not in daycare.

I am now going to ask that if your child has been sick enough to take to the doctor, I will need a note from the doctor telling me what the diagnosis was and when the doctor suggests they can be safely permitted back into daycare. I will not allow your child back in without a note. At that point, depending on the diagnosis, I will then make my decision as to when I feel they can safely be admitted into care again. I have all of the kids best interest at heart here. I am not trying to be difficult. I love all of the children dearly, and would be devastated if something happened to any one of them!

Finally, if I am to find out that your child's diagnosis has been kept from me, it will be up to me whether you will be able to continue to bring your child to my daycare. It is a trust breech, I have to be able to trust you. If I give you a warning, it will be your ONE AND ONLY warning. The next breech will result in IMMEDIATE termination.

Thank you for your compliance.

First sentence is FAR too long


Dear daycare families;

This is a reminder to all parents, that the illness policy is ALWAYS in effect. For the safety of ALL children in my care, I must be informed at all times of any illness and ALL symptoms your child has had or is currently experiencing. Your child is exposed to many other kids and many germs. I can only do my best to keep the germs to a minimum, but it is impossible to eliminate all germs completely.

I am unable to act in the best interest of the group and for each individual child if any information has been withheld. We have infants who are vulnerable. Please be considerate for all the other children. You would expect no less for your child. The best place for a sick child is at home with mom or dad to love on them. Not in daycare.

I am now requiring a note from the doctor stating the diagnosis and a suggested return date. I will not allow your child back in without a note and my approval. I only have the best interest of the entire group at heart.

Please remember, that this policy is strictly enforced at ALL TIMES. For some children, this is a matter of life and death. This is an official reminder, and moving forward, should there be any occurrences of sickly children entering my care, or any misinformation, or lack thereof, will result in IMMEDIATE TERMINATION.

Thank you for your compliance.

[ninosqueridos]

That is beyond grounds for termination! It is obvious she kept it from you. The "it's only a cough" thing.......WOW. She knew exactly what she was doing. I'd be so hurt, mad, and would absolutely terminate. And I don't take terminating lightly.....when trust is gone, forget about it. Good luck!!

[DaycareMomma]

Wow I cannot believe she pulled that on you! I'd be so furious right now. I do feel that it is also the parents responsibility to be aware of the other kids in the daycare. She was disregarding their best interest by saying his cough was nothing....

I would not be able to look past that, I would terminate and tell them flat out, you lied to me, you could have exposed your child to another child that has a weakened immune system, I cannot loverlook it, nor can I move forward with your family in my daycare.

[Meeko]

She lied about this. She WILL lie about other things.

I am so mad at this woman and I don't even know her! My own daughter had RSV at 2 months old....and she has a heart condition. I have never been so scared in my life. Just the thought that a mother could be sooooo callous about the health of other kids enrages me.

I would term her, give her a piece of my mind AND let her read all the comments here! She needs to know what she did is NOT OK.

[E Daycare]

I have to agree with what you said about the doctor thing. What you should do about daycare or school should be one of the FIRST THINGS out of the doctor's mouth......"You can (or can't) bring the baby back to daycare for X amount of days." Plus, she should have asked if he didn't tell her. Some of these parents are SO clueless!!!

But anyway, it seems like this mom flat out LIED. I don't know if I would terminate, but I dang sure wouldn't let the child back into my care for the rest of the week or without a doctor's note!!!

I ALWAYS ask when I go to the doctors "is my son contagious? I run a home daycare and need to know so I can inform my parents properly". I would also ask if he was in daycare and school. I think its only right as a parent to not pass onto another family my childs disease. Common sense tells me that and its not just because I work with kids. I did this when he was a infant and going to a home day care. I dont want my child infecting others and vice versa. I think thats the moral thing to do. My old work couldve shoved it, if my son was sick for 3 weeks I wouldve stayed home.

Why is it so difficult for parents to take care of their sick kids???

[daycare]

Clearly I sympathize with parents whose children are sick and need to stay home from daycare. I understand that parents are often busy and

inconvenienced by their child’s illness. At the same time, please remember that when your child is sent to daycare sick, they put all children, their
siblings, the provider, and all other family members at risk. Please have respect for all families here in the daycare. Golden rule, if your child is too sick to play outside, they are too sick to attend daycare. Also, please don’t forget that if I should become too ill to operate the daycare, the daycare will be closed until I am healthy enough to reopen. Having to close the daycare puts every family in a bad situation in many ways. Remember that the decision about whether or not a child should not go to school should be made by the parent, NOT THE CHILD. I love that your children want to be at school but they need to be well in order to be here.

Effective Immediatley all of the above changes and additions will be made to the Safety and Health Policy of the *** Daycare.

[dEHmom]

Why is it so difficult for parents to take care of their sick kids???

I TOTALLY agree that parents need to learn to take time off for their children, BUT I know a lot of employers just don't care. And they will fire you for illness etc. A lot of parents have to use up their own sick days for their children, and just have no sick days left at all, and employers couldn't give 2 poops.

I know my hubs work would fire over this. He gets paid what he does to be there on their beck and call. If he wasn't, he wouldn't make the money he has. It's a tough call.

I wish all employers were family people, so they'd have some sympathy

[Zoe]

I TOTALLY agree that parents need to learn to take time off for their children, BUT I know a lot of employers just don't care. And they will fire you for illness etc. A lot of parents have to use up their own sick days for their children, and just have no sick days left at all, and employers couldn't give 2 poops.

I know my hubs work would fire over this. He gets paid what he does to be there on their beck and call. If he wasn't, he wouldn't make the money he has. It's a tough call.

I wish all employers were family people, so they'd have some sympathy

Yes, it IS tough! My DH's boss could care less! Also, I was interviewing at a center last year and one of the first things that the supervisor said was, "If your child is sick, I expect your husband or other family member to take care of it. You are expected to work."

I was offered the job, but graciously let her down.

However, even if this dcm had a job like this, to me, it still wouldn't excuse her behavior. RSV is serious (my DS had it when he was 6 months old) and if she was really that worried about her job, she should have tried like crazy to find some family or friends to help her out. Not risk other children! This whole thing just makes me mad....

[Symphony]

There are two issues here:

RSV is really common, the exposure already happened, and you can't prevent anything by terming.

You have an immune compromised child in your care with other healthy kids. Send home a memo, ask that it be FWDed to the kids MD's (If they are in your contacts, send it on to the MDs). Everyone should be on the look out to reduce exposure for this child.

The Immune compromised child is not safe anywhere during RSV season.

http://www.cdc.gov/rsv/clinical/prophylaxis.html

That child should be taking preventative treatment, and if it is deemed unsafe for that child, that child should be in a private care situation.

You need to protect everyone, and you can't send all your other kids home for a week over every illness.

I would not term, or ignore a return to care note from a MD who was informed of the situation.

I Would inform icdck's parents immediately.

No one is saying she should term over the illness, it is the fact that dcm LIED to her about something so serious that has everyone up in arms.