DKM Has Rude Boss

[wdmmom]

I would ask the DCM to provide you with additional numbers within the office so that SOMEONE can contact her in the event of an emergency. I would even go as far as asking the DCM to go to upper management about the situation or giving you a phone number of upper management. That boss has no right to
"diagnose" or "assume" a child's cough isn't an emergency. She doesn't have the contract for care with you, the DCM mom does. If she attempts to do something about it so it don't happen again, than I'd leave it alone. If she doesn't want the confrontation, you may want to consider terming the family.

I tell parents at their first interview...if you cant have a phone or don't have access to email, I want 2 family members to contact and or your bosses direct number to contact you. There's enough illnesses out there, some potential deadly. It's our JOB to notify the parents! I'd rather be overly cautious than not enough.

[Fro]

Thanks for the help you guys. I am going to discuss with the mom about calling her emergency contacts right away, and leaving her a voice mail. Im not real comfortable just leaving a message with the boss since she has a history of not relaying messages. And I dont think its right to send him home with grandma without at least leaving a message with mom so she knows where he is. I know I would be upset to find out my daughter was sick all day and I didnt know it.
I do also plan to get another number to contact her with, maybe an extention for a friend who works there or something. A cough isnt a big deal, but what if it was something more important than that?
I did tell her, that her boss needs to know that she signed a contract with me, that includes an exclusion policy, and under that policy, a cough warrents going home immediately. That it doesnt matter if I can isolate him all day (not that I would do that to a sick child) That under my legally binding contract, he must go home.
I am still quite irritated tho, and would love to call that boss back up and give her a piece of my mind, but what would that solve? Things have been taken care of now anyway.

[QualiTcare]

in the future you should try to keep your composure and tell anyone who asks questions that it's confidential.

i'm not surprised that she didn't get the message to her immediately after hearing it was a cough and no fever. even if she was planning to take him to the doctor, coughing isn't a reason to not be allowed at daycare.

[Lucy]

Is there a Human Resources dept., or front desk where she works? I would ask the mom for that number and call and say this is a medical emergency and I need Suzy Smith to call her DCP IMMEDIATELY. Make it sound way worse than it is if necessary.

[marniewon]

coughing isn't a reason to not be allowed at daycare.

It is if it's non-stop, if it impairs the child's ability to participate in daily activities or if it's causing breathing problems!

[missnikki]

This is an issue for the mom to deal with, although I would understand the desire to chew the boss's head clean off. The boss was just being nosy, and then made a very bad call for sure.

You are bringing drama on the mama by calling HR, or the police, when (no offense) you should've kept it confidential. She's going to need to work it out with her boss what to do in case of emergency, or follow up thru the ranks herself.

On your end, your responsibility is to get the assurance from mom that you are in posession of an emergency contact that will not be a problem to call upon if you deem it necessary. If she cannot do that, use your judgement how comfortable you are with flying without a net for this child.

[Fro]

I should have avoided telling her anything other than there is a medical emergency, and in the future I will remember that if I should have to call through her again.
But in my daycare, this sort of cough is more than enough reason for him to be sent home. He sounded like he was drowning and could barely catch his breath. I think why im so irritated is more along the lines of, she signed a contract that very simply states my exclusion policy, yet she brings him anyway, AND I have someone doesnt know me, or the child in question telling me that I should take care of him and leave his mother out of it.
I firmly believe that a mother should have full access to their child at all times, and no one should dare get between them... for a 3rd party to make this decision for her is just crazy in my mind.
Thank you guys for letting me vent

[missnikki]

... I have someone doesnt know me, or the child in question telling me that I should take care of him and leave his mother out of it.
I firmly believe that a mother should have full access to their child at all times, and no one should dare get between them... for a 3rd party to make this decision for her is just crazy in my mind.

I didn't include my opinion in my last post, but this is about on the dot for me,

[Lucy]

I have tried calling back, they put me through to her bosses office,and she is no longer answering her phone. Im going to wait til after he wakes up from a nap to call his emergency contact, mostly out of the hope that I get ahold of her and dont have to call.

Personally, I would have called the emergency contact if Mom couldn't be reached in the first 30 minutes!!

[daycare]

Personally, I would have called the emergency contact if Mom couldn't be reached in the first 30 minutes!!

I give the parents 15 min to respond. I always text both parents first, then call both of them. If I don't hear back in 15min then I start going down the list of people to call. If I don't get ahold of anyone, then I will call the parents at work. I require at least 6 emergency contacts to call. 3 must be local to the location of the DC.

I have never been in a situation where I was not able to get in touch with someone...

[nannyde]

Since this is the second time this happened I would be a little suspicious that the boss doesn't already have her blessing to field your calls.

I would just tell her that you are not able to provide services to children if you don't have immediate access to a parent for emergencies. It's not personal... you just aren't allowed to provide that service.

I would tell her that you are obligated as a mandatory reporter to contact your State if a child's parents aren't avialble in an emergency. If her boss is acting on his/her own then SHE needs to handle her boss. It's a parental obligation to make sure you are accessible at all times. If her boss won't allow that then she has to quit the job. In the meantime it's best not to have the child in your home at all.

It's just not safe. Getting additional numbers is a good idea but it isn't the solution. You still must have direct access to the child's parents at all times.

[Fro]

Yep, I should have called earlier, I just wasnt sure if dkm was going to come get him or call me back, or what to expect. I plan on fixing the problem though based on all your advice, I will try once to get a hold of her, leave a message, then call the emergency backup immediatly.

[daycare]

Since this is the second time this happened I would be a little suspicious that the boss doesn't already have her blessing to field your calls.

I would just tell her that you are not able to provide services to children if you don't have immediate access to a parent for emergencies. It's not personal... you just aren't allowed to provide that service.

I would tell her that you are obligated as a mandatory reporter to contact your State if a child's parents aren't avialble in an emergency. If her boss is acting on his/her own then SHE needs to handle her boss. It's a parental obligation to make sure you are accessible at all times. If her boss won't allow that then she has to quit the job. In the meantime it's best not to have the child in your home at all.

It's just not safe. Getting additional numbers is a good idea but it isn't the solution. You still must have direct access to the child's parents at all times.

I agree 100%... I have DCP that work in the field or that are sub. teachers. I require that they provide me with a # to get in touch with them at all times. For subs I require the name of the school that they are subbing at, the teacher that they are covering and for how many days. I have had to call the High School to contact a parent to tell her to come pick up her sick child. 4 days later, she was at a different school and had to supply me with all of her new contact information each time.
I think that as a parent you need to be accessible to your children at all times. I understand that there are times that a parent will be in meetings for extended period of time and what not, but there is NEVER a reason why you should not be able to get in touch with a parent.
I know that the economy is tuff and people are taking any job that they could get to pay the bills, but I personally would never work for a company that did not allow me to balance my family life and career.

[Fro]

nannyde, I really dont feel comfortable not being able to get ahold of dkm. But I cant term her right now, and she cant afford to lose her job.
Im curious if you or anyone knows what the laws are regarding this? I have tried to do a search but didnt turn anything up.
Does the department of labor cover anything about not being permitted to return calls about your child?
Does the state really cover anything about having to have direct access to a parent?
If possible, I would like to get any info I can together to show the mom so we can come up with a solution.

[daycare]

I would look through your states right to work laws. Also look at FMLA.... not sure that this covers short term, but it may lead you in the right direction.

Just a word of advice, I would never disclose to anyone at a parents job why you are calling. Simply state, sorry I am not at liberty to discuss that with you, can you please have ****** call her child's daycare provider right away. I don't know if I would say that it is an emergency, as I don't consider a cold an emergency and you don't want to freak the parent out.