All Day Crier...Advice Please???

[tulip1969]

So I have this baby that cries all day. She is 7 months and has been here for 4 months. She has been checked by a doctor and is perfectly healthy and fine she just cries unless she is being held. She only stops crying to eat, drink and sleep. If I stop what I am doing and walk towards her she stops (thinking she is going to be picked up. ) The parents approached me last month saying she does the same thing at home and it is driving us all crazy. She is a very crabby baby. Do I just let her cry? I have tried everything else (toys, teethers, sitting in exersaucer, swing, vibrating infant seat, on the floor, TV, you name it. I feel bad for the other kids who have to listen to her

[SimpleMom]

I think I might be alone in this, but if holding her helps or not, I would (and have) hold them-- not while tending to others i.e. get some breaks
it's really hard when they cryyyyyyy all the time, but you just do the best you can. Do the parent's hold her all of the time or most? if not, i would try to do what they do or have them do what you do--work out a compromise. See what they are comfortable with and go from there.
also, have you tried a front or back or backpack? frees up you're hands and lots of times helps baby feel more secure??

good luck and i hope things calm down for you very soon

[dEHmom]

Honestly, I had same problem, and he realized within 2 days that it wasn't working, so now he plays really well, and entertains himself when needed.

When he first wakes up, he follows me around crying, but after a few minutes, he realizes it's not working once again. Sometimes he does it when I leave a room, and as long as I talk to him, he's fine with it.

If you stop and play with them, or pick them up, they won. Just so you know, and they know that crying gets them attention. Even if it's not to be picked up, they still know you are going to come and play with them.

Some kids will figure it out first day, some might take weeks, weeks is still better than months on months.

I agree with simple mom, it's much much better to have parents work with you. So advise them to just ignore the problem, when the child calms down for several seconds, then you can go over and play with them, talk to them, etc. NEVER pick the baby up when they are crying just for attention, if it's because they are hurt, or something else is upsetting them that is completely different. If mom and dad don't work with you, then it makes it take a little bit longer, but soon the child will figure out that mom and dad will do it but not you. So you may see the behavior a little longer, and once in a while, but they know who will and won't respond to it.

sorry simple mom, I disagree with the carrier. The baby is far to old to be lugged around like that all day. And the baby needs to learn to crawl, walk, etc. Sitting in one of those for the majority of the day is not encouraging development.

[PeanutsGalore]

I don't mind baby carriers and still use the ergo for both of the kids, but they are getting too heavy to carry much. At one point, I was carrying both of them around almost all day at the same time, and my back suffered so much I could barely lift one the next day! So I had to limit holding to when it's necessary for comforting and whatnot. Maybe carriers will work for you or maybe they won't. If they do, then by all means, use them and she'll outgrow the crying eventually. If they don't, you and her parents need to do some training since you know she's not crying out of a need for anything other than wanting to be held. Basically, the goal is to make it really, really clear to her that she is not going to be held unless she's quiet! It may take awhile, it will be stressful for you and anyone within earshot, but it's worth it because she'll get it eventually.

I have a screamer. Between training and me holding her whenever appropriate and letting her just be near me all day, we've reached a happy medium.

[Atroya]

I have an 8 month old that does the same thing, and he has been here for 6 months. His parents do not seem to be having any problems, because they are the problem, and his sister too. His 5 yr old sister CONSTANTLY plays with him. They also do not let him soothe himself to sleep. I posted on here too, and the only thing that keeps me sane is what someone else on here told me...get a pack n play set up in another room, and if he/she cries and you know it is not because they need food, changed, etc, then put them in the other room, and shut the door. Do not go back in and pick them up until they get quiet. The worst thing for me is that he gets pretty manageable by the end of the week doing this, but then over the weekend, he gets held and played with constantly, so we are back to square one on Monday. When I started doing this, I informed the parents so they would know I was having problems, and the mom talked about trying to get him to soothe himself to sleep, but she never did it, and seems to have forgotten about the whole thing. When his sister is here after school, I have to constantly tell her to leave him alone, and let him do things on his own, but it doesn't seem to get through to her. I may have to mention somethiing about him always having a bad Monday, so maybe the parents will get the picture. You can't just come out and tell someone to stop holding and playing with their child though. It just drives me crazy some days. Like you said, all I have to do is turn around and walk away from him and he starts screaming. Walk toward him, and he gets quiet. I am hoping having all the kids here in the summer, he will be occupied by the rest of the kids and not do it so much. During school, it is just him and me. I did not spoil my kids, I will not spoil a dcb.

[Symphony]

I have an 8 month old that does the same thing, and he has been here for 6 months. His parents do not seem to be having any problems, because they are the problem, and his sister too. His 5 yr old sister CONSTANTLY plays with him. They also do not let him soothe himself to sleep. I posted on here too, and the only thing that keeps me sane is what someone else on here told me...get a pack n play set up in another room, and if he/she cries and you know it is not because they need food, changed, etc, then put them in the other room, and shut the door. Do not go back in and pick them up until they get quiet. The worst thing for me is that he gets pretty manageable by the end of the week doing this, but then over the weekend, he gets held and played with constantly, so we are back to square one on Monday. When I started doing this, I informed the parents so they would know I was having problems, and the mom talked about trying to get him to soothe himself to sleep, but she never did it, and seems to have forgotten about the whole thing. When his sister is here after school, I have to constantly tell her to leave him alone, and let him do things on his own, but it doesn't seem to get through to her. I may have to mention somethiing about him always having a bad Monday, so maybe the parents will get the picture. You can't just come out and tell someone to stop holding and playing with their child though. It just drives me crazy some days. Like you said, all I have to do is turn around and walk away from him and he starts screaming. Walk toward him, and he gets quiet. I am hoping having all the kids here in the summer, he will be occupied by the rest of the kids and not do it so much. During school, it is just him and me. I did not spoil my kids, I will not spoil a dcb.

I totally agree with this if you are about to lose your mind and you are doing it for the baby's safety.

However, if I were to do what you are suggesting, I would lose my license. If you can't care for a child, no sorry a BABY, you need to let them go.