DCG Baby Daddy Drama *Update*

[E Daycare]

Ok so last month I posted a thread about the 14mo old dcg and the issues with her father supposedly abusing her mother and the mother texting me to say she no longer wanted the father to pick up dcg. See here:

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26814&highlight=baby+daddy+drama

Sooooo come this past thursday dcm tells me at pickup that dcd came crying back to her. She said that he mentioned how he was sorry and blah blah blah. I tell dh that I bet baby daddy will come back into the picture and Im not thrilled. Dh was not happy about it either seeing how dcd is never on time, forgets stuff, shows up way to early waking up everyone, breaking down in my driveway, tracking crap thru my house amongst a million other issues. I was really worried that Id have to deal with that baloney again.

The next day, friday, guess who walks in my door with dcm? BABY DADDY!! Man was I so taken aback by seeing him I didnt know what to do. I was like uhh derr derp uhh and just said "heeeyyyy how ya doing?" in a way to cherry voice trying not to let him know dcm told me all this crap he was doing or did. Dcg looked at him like who the heck are you and dcm just smiled like everything was all wonderful and pie in the sky.

The past month hasnt been perfect since hes been out of the picture but they have been 75% better so I was tolerating things better and thinking things may work out. Now that hes back in the picture this situation is going to go back to being a thorn in my side and until I can replace this family I think Im going to lose my mind.

It wouldnt be so bad if this mom didnt air her dirty laundry to me and the world. She spent all that time and energy pressing charges, going to court and freaking me out that this dude was a big ol bag of crap that now I have to go back to being like "hhhheeerrreeesss daddy!" when he walks in. I know people have their family drama but for petes sake leave it in the house and stop bringing it to mine!

I guess since I dont have my own drama I might as well tack on someone elses right? So till next time when daddy or mommy does something wrong this dck is going to have to deal with the ups and downs as well as me. I just wish these grown 40yr old adults would get their acts together and realize their daughter is taking the brunt as well as others around them.

Here we go around the mulberry bush...

[QualiTcare]

the #1 biggest mistake couples make IMO is airing their dirty laundry to other people. for example, my sister and her husband have MAJOR issues - knock down, drag out fights, stealing from one another, etc., etc.

when they get into a big fight, my sister tells me, tells my mom, tells my dad -tells the neighbor. you get the point. THEN when they make up and get back together, my sister doesn't understand WHY my mom and dad or myself don't welcome him with open arms at christmas dinner after she's TOLD us that he grabbed her by her hair or spit in her face in front of the kids.

my husband and i have had our share of problems, but they are OUR problems. i don't call people and tell them about what happened because i know that no matter how mad i might be at the time, we're going to work it out and be together. in the end it would only make ME look stupid if i talked about what a sorry piece of crap he was and then showed up to christmas dinner with him.

i wouldn't even give daycare mom the satisfaction of listening to her stories next time they have a fight - and there WILL be a next time. i'd be blunt with her (like i have been with my sister) and TELL her - "you know you guys are going to stay together, so you really shouldn't tell people about your problems." my sister and i have such a strained relationship bc she's basically too embarrassed to even talk to me after airing so much "dirty laundry" and knowing the two of them are still together. it makes her feel stupid, and she should. i don't know what to tell you - there's really nothing to say. hopefully mom will grow up and either get rid of "baby daddy" if he's so bad or at least quit telling people about how bad he is so she stops making herself look dumb.

[wdmmom]

I'd politely lay it out to dcm that you aren't interested in "Days of her life" and that you have a business to run. If she in fact decides to kick the scumbag out for good, tell her that you need a COURT ORDER that specifically says that DCD doesn't have visitation or only has her every Wednesday...etc.
Being quick and to the point should stop the issue dead in its tracks.

I talk to all of my families but I don't know whether they live like slobs or have OCD or if they have baby mama drama. Quite frankly, I don't care! As long as I'm getting paid on time and they follow the rules I set forth for my business, we will continue to get along great.

[MyAngels]

I think I would tell dcm that, because of all of the things that she shared with you, you are uncomfortable having dcd picking up or dropping off dck and that she will need to continue to be the one to drop off and pick up from daycare.

In the meantime, I'd be looking for a replacement for this family.

JMHO, of course.

Hope it all works out well for you.

[missnikki]

I think I would tell dcm that, because of all of the things that she shared with you, you are uncomfortable having dcd picking up or dropping off dck and that she will need to continue to be the one to drop off and pick up from daycare.

In the meantime, I'd be looking for a replacement for this family.

JMHO, of course.

Hope it all works out well for you.

Hmmm, I'd be very careful about that. Although I understand completely, we cannot deny a parent access (in my state) unless there is a court order to do so, or I have reason to believe releasing them may be harmful.

[E Daycare]

Yup, here we go again. Wasnt sure when dcg would come and she showed up a hour late via her dad.

At least he had a check...