The Parent That Calls Every Day

[TBird]

Aw, heck naw!!! 10 calls in 10 minutes??? Now that's just ridiculous STALKING!!! She would have gotten an ear full for that one!!! If she doesn't trust you to leave a message and get a phone call back later, than she needs to go elsewhere....shaking my head....:confused:

[missnikki]

She sounds like a 'helicopter parent'. You know the type- micromanage your every move from afar. They are somewhat easy to tame, you just have to let them know they are 'special' and that their concerns are valid, but that they have found the right person to trust their child with.

To do that, you will need to have a talk with her. You might consider printing off a few 'daily notes' for her to fill out at drop off each day, until she's calmed down. These are half slips of paper that just have basics on them:

-Best phone number to contact her in case of concern or question
-amount of sleep last night
-amount of breakfast
-any concerns to look out for
-which concerns she would like a phone call about
-estimated pick up time

Notice that none of those suggestions allow for her to really control you, but rather give her a means to sort of 'cut the umbilical cord' temporarily. That way she feels like she has a voice but then it also might occur to her that you have it under control. Hope that makes sense.

[Symphony]

I have the check in the first few days parents, and then if their child had a rough night or something unusual is up they might check in and see how things are going. I send cute stories/pictures to all my parents maybe once a week.

I do have one mom who comes and plays on her lunch hour and I don't mind at all. I enjoy the converstation, and her son isn't upset when she leaves. I have an open door policy where parents can come and go as they please, so long as their kiddos are ok with it too.

I agree with pp's that it sounds like this dcm is having some trust issues. I would have an honest conversation with her about it, that must be frustrating on both ends!

[Meeko]

That many calls would bother me - a lot. I would have to tell her that it was bothering our routine and that calls should really be saved for emergencies, change of plans/schedule, or the like. A phonecall a day even at 5 minutes a call takes 25 minutes a week awy from the kids. That's a lot of time to dedicate to reassuring an adult.

And I disagree with unregistered who suggested a daily check in time or visits. I allow parents to visit whenever they choose, but baby goes with mom when she leaves. That would be confusing and upsetting for the child. And that is who I am worried about.

We all make choices in life. This mom chooses to work outside the home. She chose daycare for her child. She needs to let her provider focus on her job (the kids) and have some trust. If she can't do that, she needs to figure out a way to stay home.

Amen Jen!

[JenNJ]

That many calls would bother me - a lot. I would have to tell her that it was bothering our routine and that calls should really be saved for emergencies, change of plans/schedule, or the like. A phonecall a day even at 5 minutes a call takes 25 minutes a week awy from the kids. That's a lot of time to dedicate to reassuring an adult.

And I disagree with unregistered who suggested a daily check in time or visits. I allow parents to visit whenever they choose, but baby goes with mom when she leaves. That would be confusing and upsetting for the child. And that is who I am worried about.

We all make choices in life. This mom chooses to work outside the home. She chose daycare for her child. She needs to let her provider focus on her job (the kids) and have some trust. If she can't do that, she needs to figure out a way to stay home.

[daycare]

okay now that is overboard and not ok. This mom has to trust you, if she doesnt then why do you have her child? RIght?
I would tell her that you want to offer the best care possible for every child in your care and that you have no porblem with her wanting to find out how her daughter is doing. Let her know how hard it is to take phone calls. Let her know tht you don't even take other personal calls because you need to care for the kids. I would then go on to tell her that if there is something wrong with her child that you would contact her right away. Let her know that you cant ignor the children to take her calls. everyone knows how kids act up as soon as the phone rings... DC is no different, except their are more children....

[SilverSabre25]

Okay, I'm really glad I'm not alone in being bugged by this.

Re: letting it go to message won't work...one day (one, in the past 5 weeks!) I was changing diapers when she called. 5 kids, 5 diapers....5 poops. It was a LONG round of diaper changes. I didn't want to stop what I was doing (it was pre-naptime) to go get the phone, so I left it. She called back a minute later, and a minute after that, and so on until I was done with the diapers ten minutes later. Yep, it was 10 or 11 phone calls! I was really short with her when I got on the phone with her...explained of course that I was changing diapers and she was all, "Oh, I wondered, I was about to leave work and come over there! I thought something was wrong!"

Texting doesn't work; I don't text :: Yep, a happy member of the Digital Generation (or...whatever they are calling folks my age these days) and a huge geek, but our cell phones are pay-by-the-minute and I really dislike texting. I'm so behind the times, .

Message on the machine/email updates are good ideas; I'll have to think about it over the weekend and decide which to offer. I'm trying REALLY hard to not actually say anything about the calls being unnecessary (and to cut it out) because I'm afraid it would come off as being very rude, no matter how I phrase it.

I get being worried about your child, I really do...but I dunno. It just rubs me the wrong way in this case. Something seems off about it I guess.

[MN Day Mom]

I've never had daily calls and very few new parents would call more than once or twice, if at all the first week.

I do ask the parents when they start if they would like email tidbits now and again... if they have email available to them they have all said YES! So with new kids I will send an email or two the first day or two... then every couple days... then I will save the emails for if something new or funny happens, if the child has been sick etc.

All of my parents can email me whenever they want... this really helps eliminate the phone ringing and waking sleeping babies or interrupting our activity

I would offer this parent email updates and/or put a message on your machine as suggested above.

The daily phone calls would drive me nuts!

[MissAnn]

I ask parents if they prefer text or email and then I send them an update when their kid is new. If parents like it....I might send a funny story or picture of their kid.

[daycare]

I have one mom who has been here a year and she used to call daily. At the start I would answer, then after 2 weeks I just let it go to msg, I would then text her back and explain sorry we were in class or I was busy. It has now gone from daily calls to daily text. I even sometimes will take a pic and send it to her via text so she can see her daughter is ok.

I don't really mind it. I had a cousin who passed away at 3 days old and my aunts second born child, who is now 28 still checks on him daily.

I don't mind it at all..

re: calling

Its really hard to leave your child in the care of another. Sometimes, congestion is worse all night. Offer mom a regular check in time and explain that it IS hard to handle phone calls, but since you have an open door policy, she is welcome to stop by and SEE if everything is going well. Encourage her to come on her lunch hour, and use the time to catch up on other chores This will ease her mind, and get across the time on the phone problem. She probably won't come.

Also if DCB's congestion is worse at night, work with mom to discover an allergy at home?

[Blackcat31]

I let my answering machine pick up...it says

"Hi! If you are calling to check on your child, don't worry they are fine or I would be calling you! We are in the middle of a super fun activity and I cannot tear myself away long enough to have to answer the phone so I will see you at pick up time. Have a great day!"

If a parent is calling to tell me something (and not checking on their kid) they just leave the info they needed to say and that's it.

[JenNJ]

No. I think maybe 2 parents called me the first day or 2 of care. I would tell them that texts work better. I love when parents text me.

[Michelle]

I have 2 families that call 3-4 times a day asking if I fed them and asking if they are wearing their jackets(in July) .I have had them since they were newborns and they are 1,2, and 3 now
It drives me crazy and I have told them that answering the phone all the time takes away from me being able to care for them. But they still call anyway.
Oh well, I just got used to it but I am tempted to say something like "no I haven't fed them ALL day cause all 12 parents call me 4 times a day and I don't have the time to feed them" but I could never do that::::::

[ninosqueridos]

DCPs will call, like you said, in the first week at the MOST. That would bother me to be called so often. Have you told her that YOU will call HER if it was anything urgent?