Ring leader = instigator

[sahm2three]

Ring leader is here and just can't seem to leave people alone. He constantly has to be in peoples personal space. He is almost 3, so I hate to do the pnp thing with him. So I think I am going to just make him his own section of the room with a few toys and see if this makes a difference. He just can't seem to help himself. He wants to sit on people, put his legs on people, tap people over and over, be right in there face.....it is annoying to me, I can't imagine how the other little guys feel! I had him shadow me yesterday, but it didn't help a lot because for the most part, I am in the same room as the kids either supervising an activity or watching them play while I do bookwork on the computer. He can't seem to hold his legs still either. Even if he is honestly watching a video/movie his feet are always going. I have had restless leg syndrome, and it makes me wonder about that. He is just a hard kid.

Instead of making a seperate post, I will just say it here. I also have an agressive little 20 month old. Like very aggressive and almost violent. Yesterday he had a plastic ball in his hand and punched another little boy in the mouth and gave him a bloody lip! Then today he shoved one of the little boys so hard I actually worried about the victim having a broken arm! So today, he has been removed from the rest of the kids. I will switch him between doing activities in the highchair to playing in a pnp. I don't know what else to do about him! He can be so sweet if it is none of the other boys around (he is the last to leave, so I have him for about an hour after everyone else leaves). I have tried talking to his parents, but they just think everything he says and does is the cutest thing in the world. Kicker is, they left a center to come here (after being on a waiting list for months here) because their son was being bitten! Now their child is the offender and they just don't seem to be taking any actions. And they don't like me giving him time outs, but I asked them what they would have me do instead and they have no answers. Ugh. Advice?

It is like a swamp outside because we had so much snow and now everything is melting so fast. So no outside time. Ugh.

[ninosqueridos]

I like your sectioning off the room for the ringleader boy. I wouldn't allow any screen time either. If you normally have daily screen time for the kids, you could turn it into a privelege and keep him away from the screen as a consequence. He is almost three. He CAN help himself.

My DS is 3 1/2 and is like your ringleader some days. I found completely eliminating tv while dcks are here (there's no tv in dc room so he used to be able to go into the room to watch tv) has helped his behavior tremendously. He has figured out that yes, he CAN play on his own without tormenting everyone else. If I use "no tv when friends go home" as a warning to poor behavior, he DOES make better choices and leaves friends alone.

Your aggressive 20mo's parents should not be telling you how to teach their son to behave properly. If they want to determine the method, they could hire someone for one-on-one care in their home. I'd keep doing the pnp thing and perhaps slloooooowly integrate him back for short spurts of time until his behavior improves. I have one 24mo dcb who went through a similar phase - it lasted from about 18mo-21/22mo and now he can handle being with the group (I was separating him from the group, too, if redirecting until I was blue in the face didn't work).