Children/ Babies Who Don't / Can't Eat After The Weekends - Part Rant

[E Daycare]

Ok its Monday morning and already Im ready to throw in the towel. I dread Mondays and its even worse if the kids have been away from my care for more then the 2 days.

Case in point my 14mo old preemie. I have been trying to no avail to get her to eat baby food. Stage one baby food. She did pretty good here last week eating as I fed her baby food at each meal and tried at snack time too for all 4 days she was in my care. Consecutive days. I also gave her formula too as shes still on it. Her mother and family (this is the same family Im having issues with drop offs and dcd beating up mom and mom telling me dcd isnt allowed to get dcg) just dont feed her baby food. They shove a bottle in her mouth for all meals and call it a day. Her mom even told me she told dcg doctor that dcg was throwing up milk as to get her back on formula. Im 99% sure its so dcm and family dont have to worry about actually feeding her. Whole milk is used as a supplement with food at age 1 right? Well this is true if youre feeding your kid. If youre lazy, you lie to your kids doctor and tell him/her that your kid is throwing up milk and you want formula back. She never had a issue here with milk but Im not the mom so...

So Ive asked dcm what and how she feeds dcg. I tell her shes had a hard day eating food, how has she been at home? Dcm tells me "well she really loves rice and potatoes. I mash it up in my mouth and feed it to her that way". IM NOT A BIRD. I wont feed any child that way. Who does that? This dcg has NO problem eating a tissue, eating and ruining a book already today, chewing on her socks and trying to eat a shoe. I sit her in a high chair to eat and she looks at me like Im a alien. She wants the food dish though. Why? SO SHE CAN CHEW ON IT.

With her parent its like we take one step forward and 50 back. Her mom has finally gotten it through her head to call/text me to let me know she wont be here at the butt crack of dawn so thats gotten better. Oh and last week everyone paid me on time Monday. FIRST TIME EVER in the 9 months Ive had kids everyone paid all at once. Changing to drastic late fees, that are equal to one days pay, has kinda gotten everyones attention.

One of the other dcb I watch, hes 20 months and he has issues with eating too. From before I got pregnant I vowed to eat and be healthy. Through my pregnancy and my sons life (hes now 20 mo too) Ive kept that promise. I make good food always and want my son to have a good start in life. That new study that says healthy eating starts at home? NO DUH. This dcb refuses to eat too. Friday I offered spaghetti, corn, carrots, 1/2 orange and fresh apple pear sauce. He ate 1/2 orange. Oh but snack time! That kid will ask for cookies like his life depends on it. The only "cookie" I have here are home made graham crackers. Needless to say, he didnt eat much at my house. Today I made mini pancakes and offered black berries, grapes and blue berries. He smeared black berries all over his face. As I sat with them and tried to feed dcg breakfast too he stared at me and smeared his fruit. Hes not a bad kid what so ever but Im like what is going on here?

What do parents do on the weekends?? Am I just being punked today? Its Monday and I actually fantasized about being able to go to work in a office like most normal moms. Is that bad?

Its like these kids go to the jungle on the weekends and come back to my house all confused because they are back on a schedule and eating and cleaning up. Im just going to feed the dcg her bottle, not try and assimulate her into normal toddler hood and hope dcb likes the apple/sweet potato sauce I made for the week. He can eat that. I give up. They arent my kids so the parents can parent them. Today Im done trying to be something I cant be for these kids. Ill just stop trying, be less frustrated and figure then I can enjoy my job.

I gave up coffee for new years. Guess who broke out her coffee pot today?

/rant

[SilverSabre25]

sounds like my Monday; different issues, same frustration!

For a 14 month old preemie (how preemie are we talking? Born at 36 weeks or born at 28?) I wouldn't be concerned about her being on formula still--she's technically NOT 14 months, esp if she was VERY premature and from what you've said it sounds like she was. If she's refusing food all the time, I might be concerned about oral aversions (yes, she chews on other things, but that doesn't mean she'll be okay with food)--not uncommon in preemies, but something that needs taken care of sooner rather than later. It sounds though like she just isn't getting the exposure at home, in which case I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it. ****s though, when you KNOW you know better than the parents. Have you tried her with chunks of well cooked foods that she can feed herself?

I have a very picky 20ish month old myself. The boy hardly eats here some days. I'm not sure what he eats at home, but some kids are just picky by nature.

[Blackcat31]

I'm sorry I do not have any advice for you but I do know exactly how you feel...every time I complain about a Monday, my DH says, "I told you that you should never have allowed them all to go home...." My dck's are the same way...by the time you get them back on track, it's Friday....

I have a couple dck's too that are just like your toddler's parents...1 step forward and 50 back!! I have given up trying to wean their child off of anything. I give them food and if they don't eat or they play with their food, then I guess they are hungry when they go home. I am pretty positive that the parents aren't taking the time to do anything except hand them a Ritz cracker and a bottle as they crawl on by them.

I even have one mom who brings her kid in at 10:00 and says" He hasn't eaten breakfast yet; he just got up." Ummmm, what time did he go to bed? B/c he is like 21 months! Who doesn't eat by that time in the morning????

You are too funny too because your comment about the chewing up the food in your mouth to feed it to the dcg was hilarious...you know who does that?!!? My dad! He tried to feed my kids that way too and I was always so grossed out!!! He said, "How do you think you ate as a kid?" Ewwww! (I'm now throwing up a little in my mouth as I tell this!!)

Hope your day goes well and the week only gets better!!! Atleast you have a sense of humor!!!!

[E Daycare]

(how preemie are we talking? Born at 36 weeks or born at 28?)

She was born really early, like at 6 months.

I wouldn't be concerned about her being on formula still--she's technically NOT 14 months, esp if she was VERY premature and from what you've said it sounds like she was.

I didnt think of that actually. I thought though by this time the parent/family would really be trying to introduce her though. I know if it was my son Id be trying to get him on track even though I knew hed be behind

If she's refusing food all the time, I might be concerned about oral aversions (yes, she chews on other things, but that doesn't mean she'll be okay with food)--not uncommon in preemies, but something that needs taken care of sooner rather than later.

My husband thinks the SAME thing!

It sounds though like she just isn't getting the exposure at home, in which case I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it. ****s though, when you KNOW you know better than the parents. Have you tried her with chunks of well cooked foods that she can feed herself?

She cant self feed at all. Other then a saltine. :/

every time I complain about a Monday, my DH says, "I told you that you should never have allowed them all to go home...." My dck's are the same way...by the time you get them back on track, it's Friday....

LMAO!! This is so true. Then I could use them as a tax write off myself!!

I even have one mom who brings her kid in at 10:00 and says" He hasn't eaten breakfast yet; he just got up." Ummmm, what time did he go to bed? B/c he is like 21 months! Who doesn't eat by that time in the morning????

This is just insane! My 20mo old is asleep by 8:30 pm EVERY SINGLE night (except christmas 2 yrs ago) and has breakfast at 8am every day. I couldnt imagine not giving him a routine and proper sleep and nutrition.

You are too funny too because your comment about the chewing up the food in your mouth to feed it to the dcg was hilarious...you know who does that?!!? My dad! He tried to feed my kids that way too and I was always so grossed out!!! He said, "How do you think you ate as a kid?" Ewwww! (I'm now throwing up a little in my mouth as I tell this!!)

Maybe he can watch my dcg? Then she can eat!

Im just gonna stop stressing about the things they cant do and go according to their parents plan. If they want to regurgitate skittles and poptarts to their kid then so be it. Its not worth my time to worry about this crap.

[Unregistered]

Preemie

I understand your frustration. It's hard when the parents aren't on the same page with you!

About the preemie: you can't really make a preemie catch up. Most times, they catch up on their own by the time they're school-age. However, there are early intervention programs to help, especially if there are any other delays. How's her weight? If the parents are interested, you might suggest to them that they have their pediatrician refer them to EI. If there really is an oral aversion going on, that can be tough on everyone.

[PeanutsGalore]

Ok its Monday morning and already Im ready to throw in the towel. I dread Mondays and its even worse if the kids have been away from my care for more then the 2 days.

Case in point my 14mo old preemie. I have been trying to no avail to get her to eat baby food. Stage one baby food. She did pretty good here last week eating as I fed her baby food at each meal and tried at snack time too for all 4 days she was in my care. Consecutive days. I also gave her formula too as shes still on it. Her mother and family (this is the same family Im having issues with drop offs and dcd beating up mom and mom telling me dcd isnt allowed to get dcg) just dont feed her baby food. They shove a bottle in her mouth for all meals and call it a day. Her mom even told me she told dcg doctor that dcg was throwing up milk as to get her back on formula. Im 99% sure its so dcm and family dont have to worry about actually feeding her. Whole milk is used as a supplement with food at age 1 right? Well this is true if youre feeding your kid. If youre lazy, you lie to your kids doctor and tell him/her that your kid is throwing up milk and you want formula back. She never had a issue here with milk but Im not the mom so...

So Ive asked dcm what and how she feeds dcg. I tell her shes had a hard day eating food, how has she been at home? Dcm tells me "well she really loves rice and potatoes. I mash it up in my mouth and feed it to her that way". IM NOT A BIRD. I wont feed any child that way. Who does that? This dcg has NO problem eating a tissue, eating and ruining a book already today, chewing on her socks and trying to eat a shoe. I sit her in a high chair to eat and she looks at me like Im a alien. She wants the food dish though. Why? SO SHE CAN CHEW ON IT.

With her parent its like we take one step forward and 50 back. Her mom has finally gotten it through her head to call/text me to let me know she wont be here at the butt crack of dawn so thats gotten better. Oh and last week everyone paid me on time Monday. FIRST TIME EVER in the 9 months Ive had kids everyone paid all at once. Changing to drastic late fees, that are equal to one days pay, has kinda gotten everyones attention.

One of the other dcb I watch, hes 20 months and he has issues with eating too. From before I got pregnant I vowed to eat and be healthy. Through my pregnancy and my sons life (hes now 20 mo too) Ive kept that promise. I make good food always and want my son to have a good start in life. That new study that says healthy eating starts at home? NO DUH. This dcb refuses to eat too. Friday I offered spaghetti, corn, carrots, 1/2 orange and fresh apple pear sauce. He ate 1/2 orange. Oh but snack time! That kid will ask for cookies like his life depends on it. The only "cookie" I have here are home made graham crackers. Needless to say, he didnt eat much at my house. Today I made mini pancakes and offered black berries, grapes and blue berries. He smeared black berries all over his face. As I sat with them and tried to feed dcg breakfast too he stared at me and smeared his fruit. Hes not a bad kid what so ever but Im like what is going on here?

What do parents do on the weekends?? Am I just being punked today? Its Monday and I actually fantasized about being able to go to work in a office like most normal moms. Is that bad?

Its like these kids go to the jungle on the weekends and come back to my house all confused because they are back on a schedule and eating and cleaning up. Im just going to feed the dcg her bottle, not try and assimulate her into normal toddler hood and hope dcb likes the apple/sweet potato sauce I made for the week. He can eat that. I give up. They arent my kids so the parents can parent them. Today Im done trying to be something I cant be for these kids. Ill just stop trying, be less frustrated and figure then I can enjoy my job.

I gave up coffee for new years. Guess who broke out her coffee pot today?

/rant

True to the bolded! I'm sorry you're having a bad Monday. Mondays stink. Even with kids who seem to have good parents, it's hard to adjust back into daycare on a Monday morning. Unfortunately, all parents do not do the best job, so I learned a long time ago (by trying to help family members--go figure!) that if I'm not the parent, I should try my best to mind my own business, kwim? There's only so much you can do when you care for a kid who is not your own. With the proper boundary lines thrown up, you can love them, teach them the right way to do things, expose them to the way you live your life and run your household, but that's pretty much it. They do learn from you though, so it's not hopeless. It can just take a long, LOOOOOONG time to payoff. And many times, it doesn't pay off the way you want it to, and that's hard because you just have to watch the kids take the wrong path in life and then struggle to get back on track. And to hinder a baby's growth at 14 months old...sheesh. She'll have a lot of work to do to make it in life.

Hugs! It will get better. Friday will be here before you know it!

[E Daycare]

About the preemie: you can't really make a preemie catch up. Most times, they catch up on their own by the time they're school-age. However, there are early intervention programs to help, especially if there are any other delays. How's her weight? If the parents are interested, you might suggest to them that they have their pediatrician refer them to EI. If there really is an oral aversion going on, that can be tough on everyone.

I was doing some reading up on oral aversion and it sounds like this is exactly what she has. She gags as soon as I offer her food and I read thats a major clue. When she first started coming her she had a PT that came one time. From what I collect, she no longer gets a PT nor receives any other type of therapy.

Thank you for the oral aversion tip. I dont have any education with preemies or developmentally behind children just a certification in infant to 5yrs development. So now I can better educate myself and try where I can. A lot I see is that they should start early intervention now but like I said, I dont think shes getting much if any, therapy.

I know she has some major family drama going on and gets bounced around a lot because her mother works weekends too so the only consistency she receives is at my home.

As far as weight, at her 1 yr appt she was at 16lbs. Her calculated age was 9 months so I guess thats pretty good then. Shes still in her infant carrier too. I dont have much to compare though as my 20mo old son was 26lbs at his 1yr and now weighs in at 30lbs and is well over 3ft tall (el hub is abnormally tall and lanky-like 6'7") .

I really have to come to terms with myself that I cant fix it I guess. She has developmental issues that I can think Im aware of but in the end it is the parents final decision to get her help and whatnot. Its really difficult for me to not separate the two though. The fact that even though Im the caregiver I have A) no say and B) cant do anything about it. Her mother is a LPN and has medical knowledge (to what extent I dont know) and she has two older children so the saying goes "mother knows best" and if/when she decides to start working on her DD then Ill be there (we will see if Ill be there) to go with what the mother says. I honestly think though no one is really concerned with getting this child help so I really need to let go of my frustration.

I cant find much with why she chews and eats everything else though. My husband thought maybe she had PICA but with reading up on that it seems more of a older toddler issue and more along the lines of eating chalk and stuff. She eats books, paper, sides of my wall, table legs, magnet toys, shoes, socks, side of my TV and ANYTHING else. Ive given her wooden teethers, plastic ones, cloth ones you name it but she chews on what shes not supposed to. She knows its wrong too. In short of putting her in a pen all day or suspending her from the ceiling I dont know what to do. I follow her around like you do with a puppy but I cant take my eyes off her for a second. I dont know if its a developmental problem or teething but by golly its CONSTANT. Im glad Im CPR certified because Ive had to do on more then one occasion back blows to dislodge a puzzle piece she managed to naw in half.

As far of lunch and the 20 mo old dcb, he ate 1 chicken nugget. I offered cherry tomatoes, green beans, cheese, applesauce with squash and milk.

So, I tried.