What Should I Do

[nikia]

I gave termination letters to 4 families because I am going to nursing school and need to lighten my load. Only one family was here on Friday, so I gave them the letter and mailed the others ones and they should have recieved them yesterday. All of the 4 families I termed know each other either because they are family or they work together. The dcm I gave the letter to in person called the other 3 families to tell them her kids were DROPPED FROM CARE and asked their children were safe from being DROPPED. I can understand her wanting to see what was going on, but she made it sound like I DROPPED them for no reason. Which is not what the letter stated or what I stated.

I am pretty angry with this mother running her mouth basically. My phone has been going crazy and I have chosed to ignore it as I want to do this in person and explain it is because I have chosen to go to school.

How do I stick this out until 4/1 which is the late say of care. Would you say something the mom, like I understand you are upset but talking to me would have been better than calling the other families in my daycare?? Or just smile and let it go as it will all be over soon??

Oh yes this mom also needed another copy of her contract and handbook that she signed?? So I am sure she is trying to get out of a 2 week notice

[Live and Learn]

to tell them her kids were cut and asked theirs were safe. I can understand her wanting to see what was going on, but she made it sound like I cut them for no reason.

Ok.... I am confused. When you say "cut" do you mean "cut with a knife or something" or do you mean "dropped from care."? Why would she not think the kids were safe?

.....I have a lot of back bone and don't tell parents important things like this in a letter.....too much drama. Basically you are firing these families. I wouldn't want to be fired by letter. Face to face is the proper way to do it in my opinion.

Don't answer your phone or texts or emails until Monday and then speak with each family face to face.

Let this Mom have her drama....take the high road.

[pinkbunny85]

Ok.... I am confused. When you say "cut" do you mean "cut with a knife or something" or do you mean "dropped from care."? Why would she not think the kids were safe?

.....I have a lot of back bone and don't tell parents important things like this in a letter.....too much drama. Basically you are firing these families. I wouldn't want to be fired by letter. Face to face is the proper way to do it in my opinion.

Don't answer your phone or texts or emails until Monday and then speak with each family face to face.

Let this Mom have her drama....take the high road.

she means that she dropped them from day care because she's going back to school at night and she's lightening her kid load during the day. the dcm that already got her term letter wanted to know what other families were affected by it. meaning is your child safe and not dropped from care or is your child dropped from care. wording is like on a game show "your safe from elimination"

[nikia]

Ok.... I am confused. When you say "cut" do you mean "cut with a knife or something" or do you mean "dropped from care."? Why would she not think the kids were safe?

.....I have a lot of back bone and don't tell parents important things like this in a letter.....too much drama. Basically you are firing these families. I wouldn't want to be fired by letter. Face to face is the proper way to do it in my opinion.

Don't answer your phone or texts or emails until Monday and then speak with each family face to face.

Let this Mom have her drama....take the high road.

Cut as in dropped I used the moms words her words were cut FROM care or dropped as I would say and no she wanted to know if the other parents kids were safe from being DROPPED from care, noone has any reason to think their children are not safe here

[jen]

Yuck, hopefully everyone got their letter over the weekend. Smile through it on Monday, hopefully the worst will be over after that. I'm guessing most people will be a bit bummed out, but understanding.

Congrats by the way!

[Rachel]

Ok.... I am confused. When you say "cut" do you mean "cut with a knife or something" or do you mean "dropped from care."? Why would she not think the kids were safe?

.....I have a lot of back bone and don't tell parents important things like this in a letter.....too much drama. Basically you are firing these families. I wouldn't want to be fired by letter. Face to face is the proper way to do it in my opinion.

Don't answer your phone or texts or emails until Monday and then speak with each family face to face.

Let this Mom have her drama....take the high road.

I have to agree. I wouldn't have done it by letter I would have called each family or handed them the letter in person and spoken to them. The mom is upset, she's asking her friends if their kids were also dropped. I'd just finish off as professionally as possible and shake it off as a mom who is upset.

[Abigail]

These choices are always tough, but I am glad you've chosen to go back to school. You have to do what is right for yourself. Did you drop every family or just a few? If you are still keeping a few do these folks know each other? This is definitely a tough subject to say goodbye, but you have a valid reason! You'll enjoy your life with a lighter load while attending school.

Be prepared Monday morning to explain in more detail when parents arrive. I would be waiting for them and ask if they had received a letter in the mail. That would trigger the conversation. They might be in a hurry so you could tell them if they have any questions you can talk about it now or when they pick up.

[nikia]

Ok.... I am confused. When you say "cut" do you mean "cut with a knife or something" or do you mean "dropped from care."? Why would she not think the kids were safe?

.....I have a lot of back bone and don't tell parents important things like this in a letter.....too much drama. Basically you are firing these families. I wouldn't want to be fired by letter. Face to face is the proper way to do it in my opinion.

Don't answer your phone or texts or emails until Monday and then speak with each family face to face.

Let this Mom have her drama....take the high road.

I have to agree. I wouldn't have done it by letter I would have called each family or handed them the letter in person and spoken to them. The mom is upset, she's asking her friends if their kids were also dropped. I'd just finish off as professionally as possible and shake it off as a mom who is upset.

Even though I have dealt with all the parents and dont really need anymore advice and or judgement on the subject I felt it the need to clarify that I did give the one family that was in care on Friday her letter in person and did explain it to her in person. The 3 other families I termed where not here on Friday (they are part-time) so I mailed letters in anticipation that the mom who got hers in person would call them, I thought them getting the letter in mail would eliminate my phone going crazy after the one mom called all of them and I could then talk to them in person on Monday (today) which is what happened after I ignored all texts and phone calls this weekend. I wanted to do this face to face which is why I was upset when the mom called the other families she knows.

[Live and Learn]

Nikia....no judgement here.....I am just sharing how I would have handled it.

Terming is never easy. I have only had to term 3 times in 7 years so I wouldn't say I am an "expert" on terming at all::!

I notice on this forum that a number of providers use notes, letters, texts, emails......instead of just saying something important to the parent's face. In my opinion these little notes can set up a provider for a whole lot more drama than just summoning up the nerve to say what needs to be said directly to the parent.

I am wondering if you had to do this all over again .... would do anything different?

Good luck... I hope this all blows over soon.

[nikia]

Nikia....no judgement here.....I am just sharing how I would have handled it.

Terming is never easy. I have only had to term 3 times in 7 years so I wouldn't say I am an "expert" on terming at all::!

I notice on this forum that a number of providers use notes, letters, texts, emails......instead of just saying something important to the parent's face. In my opinion these little notes can set up a provider for a whole lot more drama than just summoning up the nerve to say what needs to be said directly to the parent.

I am wondering if you had to do this all over again .... would do anything different?

Good luck... I hope this all blows over soon.

Thanks and sorry I just feel so bad already you know? I am not sure how I would have handled it differently and what I could have done to avoid the whole mom calling friends issue. I guess if I ever decided to take more kids they wont know each other ::

Everyone was understanding expect mom from Friday, but hey what can I do now I think she is taking it personally and its not I just need to have different hours and less kids and she was one of the last ones to bring her kids to me, so I went for a longest time here preference dont know if that right or not but it worked out the best with schedules and kids who get along the best oh well its over and my count down begins for when my load lightens and my vacation to the beach WOOOOO HOOOOO

[Cat Herder]

You are doing what is best for you and your family. The rest will work itself out.

No stones to throw here....