Is It Rude To....

[JenNJ]

I wouldn't ever ask. Its crossing a boundary into their private lives. If tthey mention it, I probe but I don't bring it up.

[ninosqueridos]

I'd never, ever ask that. Way too personal because of the infertility factor.

If holding a slot for their unborn child were THAT important to them, they'd probably ask me first.

[nannyde]

I never ask. Having a second child increases dramatically the odds I will loose the family altogether. I would rather not know.

I do have two families of kids getting close to Kindy and I make it a point to tell them "I'm" ready for them to sprog out another spud muffin. Whether you want one or not... just do it for ME. Working for them for another five years sounds really good.

[dEHmom]

I think that's it isn't rude, but it is a touchy subject for some, and it's one of those things best kept to yourself.

It's kinda like how you wouldn't ask someone if they are pregnant because they might just be gaining weight, kwim?

Personally, if you are wondering if they are planning to add another one, and you don't want to turn away other families, I understand how you feel there.

BUT keep in mind, they are fully aware themselves of daycare demand and they will understand you will not be holding a spot for an undetermined amount of time on the chance that they have a baby.

Should they become pregnant and decide they want the baby to be in your care, they will mention this to you as soon as they find out.

[JJPlaycare]

I am bouncing back and forth just as all of these posts have shown! I am not sure what the "Right" thing to do is! I do know that I have had 5 calls in the last few weeks that have come with an infant or a pregnant mom and an additional child! I have 2 spots open, so if I woul take on this new family that needs NO room for any of my current moms to concieve! I would like to know if I should just wait for my current moms to get pregnant rather than possibly having to get rid of someone once one of my current moms does get pregnant due to amount of kids! I would hate to have to do that! Hmmm not really sure how to go about it! Liking some of your approaches though!
I didn't like when people would ask me when we were going to have kids, and I NEVER ask friends or family! That is there buisness not mine! We do have some friends who are looking into fertility treatment and it is a VERY touchy subject for them! They have confided in us, but I NEVER bring it up, I let them do all of the talking and I am the listener! However, I feel like I am doing buisness with all of these families and I am taking care of there littles and I somewhat feel that it is my business if they are in the future needing another spot!! They know what they tell me goes nowhere! So as long as I keep it buisness like, I think I should be able to know, but I just don't know! Ugh, I guess I'll figure it out! Like someone mentioned to 9 months is a long time, but I would hate to enroll a new family and then a few weeks later one of my current families says, guess what I am PREGO! That would not be good! I guess I could always just say I am looking at filling my last infant spot and putting our daycare at capacity and see if anyone has anything to say about it! I don't know I'll figure something out, but thanks for listening to me ramble and all of your advice! I agree with BOTH posters, yes ask and no don't ask! I think both are right and thats why I lay somewhere in the middle ground!

[dEHmom]

Just remember, although many parents are reliable, at any point in time they can decide to move, lose a job, decide they don't want to use you any more. Do you think they would second guess it? even if they LOVE you like family, they could decide they are done with daycare, and that's that.

I would take on new families with the spots you have available. It seems silly to me to hold on to spots on the chance one of you families will have a baby in 9mth-5 yrs!!! Never know!

Even if you take on new families, just remember, they may only last a few weeks, months, or a year and maybe by then a baby will be born.

One suggestion is send out a notice...

2 full time spots available...Will start accepting applications today or something like that. Basically letting them know, if they think a baby is comign in the next year, book your spot. Or that you're going to be adding 1 or 2 kids to the group.

[Cat Herder]

I would take on new families with the spots you have available. It seems silly to me to hold on to spots on the chance one of you families will have a baby in 9mth-5 yrs!!! Never know!.

I actually was at a turning point and wanted to honor the commitment I have made to these families, is all...I just needed a bit of a window of time to plan on. More longterm.

My hope at the time was to close in the next 5 years... but I thought I may go a year sooner or later depending on what my families need as well.

Turns out I have 6 years, now.... ...one was having problems and had added stress that I would be gone before she had a chance. She is a happy camper, now.

I met most of my families in the NICU, so my issue is a bit different.

But a bit of future planning to come up with a 5-10 year plan is just good business, to me, for all providers.

When you finally get "good" parents, you want to honor that, YKWIM? I have a pretty great group....

[MommyMuffin]

I dont think so because my dcp have seen me have to turn away clients because of too many infants. My2yo dcb will probably leave once his brother comes because I am full for 18 months. I have had one dcp ask when she should start trying.

[laundrymom]

I do. I just mention in my newsletter, little Bobby is headed to kindergarten this fall so I am planning my addition of another child. If anyone is thinking of adding to our group in the next 15-18 mo let me know so I can hold open a spot.

[countrymom]

I get asked all the time because i have 4 kids of my own. And it really is rude and annoying. Its no ones business if I plan on adding. Let me clarify, no chance in H@ll will this happen as its so nice to finally go places without equipment. So I wouldn't ask, its none of your business.

[SandeeAR]

Maybe just post a note on the door that says....

Waiting list is almost full. Know anyone having a baby that wants on the list? Have them let me know ASAP, before I close the list!


Spreads the word without asking directly.

[grandmom]

I actually get out the calendar and point to a date that they can concieve based on when my next infant opening is available. I've given permission to many a parent to have the second (and now third) child based on my availability.

[missnikki]

I actually get out the calendar and point to a date that they can concieve based on when my next infant opening is available. I've given permission to many a parent to have the second (and now third) child based on my availability.

I have to assume you are joking. I would yank my family so fast your head wouls spin. That is the tackiest thing I have heard in a while and I live in Southern California.

[littlemissmuffet]

I have to assume you are joking. I would yank my family so fast your head wouls spin. That is the tackiest thing I have heard in a while and I live in Southern California.

::

I found it a little crude myself. ::

I personally wouldn't ask daycare parent if/when they were planning another - they will let me know. I do mention in interviews that if/when the time comes that they want/have another child to just let me know so I can make arrangements. Other than that, it's never brought up again until they come to me.
I never assume that parents will have more than one child either - one is good enough for us and it frustrates me to no end when people ask about a second, ask why only one, and the worst... tell us we'll change our mind

[daycare]

I offer a free parents night out once a month for all of my families.. They are all now making jokes that this is my ploy to keep my daycare staffed because two of my families that never have a night sitter, excpet on my PNO are now expecting............