Is It Rude To....

[JJPlaycare]

Is it rude to ask your daycare moms if they are planning on having more children and if so then when they are thinking about doing so?!?! If this is not rude how do you do it....? LOL Just trying to plan some things out around here, but have really been wondering about a couple of my momies whose littles are approaching the ripe old age of 2!! Thanks for any input!

[safechner]

No, I don't think it is rude. Some of them asked me if I will have any more children. I would love to have one more child but I don't want to start over again with diapers, breastfeeding, etc... since both of my girls are now 10 and 8 years old.

[Cat Herder]

Not at all..

I have actually had parents ask me if it was "ok for them to start trying or should they wait another year" since I had so many littles at that time...

Now, that is an awkward conversation...

[e.j.]

I don't know if it's rude or not but I don't think I'd feel comfortable asking a parent a question like that. Since I don't know much about their private lives, I'd be afraid it might be too personal to ask about their plans for additional children. I have a couple of parents who have struggled with infertility but I didn't know it until they were pregnant with their 2nd child and they happened to mention it.

I might tell my day care parents that I have some day care openings and I'd really appreciate it if they'd mention it to anyone they know who might be interested. This way, it gives them a chance to say, "Oh, I might need a spot next fall. We're hoping to have a second child by them." Other than that, I don't think I'd go there unless the parent brings it up first.

[MN Day Mom]

I don't think its rude at all. I have often asked my day parents when they are thinking of adding on to their families... I will ususually toss in something like "Just asking because my next infant opening is such and such and wondering if I should keep it open for your family"

[kendallina]

Yes, I do think it's rude. There may be families that are struggling to conceive or for whom this is a sensitive subject. I would never ask a family if they are thinking of having more kiddos...not my business in my opinion.

[happykidschildcare]

Nope I dont think its rude, especiallly if your like me and have announced that after such and such date your going to ages 2 & up only.

[missnikki]

I think it's none of anyone's business what my bedroom goals are with my husband.

We both had teenage daughters when we married and when someone asks us when we are having our next child, I get irritated because we don't want another. I say "Oh, we aren't going to..." and they inevitably ask why...it is not a conversation I care to have with anyone besides him and I feel like it is unavoidable and awkward. Then I look bad for saying "I just don't." Better they don't ask at all.

[KEG123]

Yeah I'd never ask. My one reason why, because I'd be upset if someone asked me. What if I was struggling to have another child? That could possibly hurt a lot of feelings.

[daycare]

Im in the middle on this......

I really want more kids but cant have anymore.... it is a really hard subject for me when people ask. I always end up changing the subject right away and they realize quickly that I am not comfortable with the question.

However, I think that it is ok to ask if it is worded properly....ex for those families who plan on using my daycare services for their future babies, please contact me...

[Mommy of a guy in daycare]

yes, rude

Honestly, I would be so taken aback if I was asked this by my daycare provider. We tried for years to have a baby..I had three miscarriages, one was at nearly 5 months pregnant. There may be moms who have tried for another one, but couldn't...it can be a very sore and PRIVATE subject.

Obviously, if they are trying or are pregnant, they are thinking about the daycare situation just as much as you...but let them come to you with it!

[Cat Herder]

I guess for me it is easy to ask because my parents know I only enroll newborns and my waiting list is a bit over 4 years, now...

I have two babies being born this summer biting at the bit hoping someone moves...:: I also have one holding for next summer...yep, not even conceived...

I don't grill anyone in particular...something like a note on the monthly menus/newsletter like...

"I am updating my waiting list...if anyone may need a "New Bundle" slot in the foreseeable future you better get your bids in now "

Sometimes they get in on the list for themselves....a neighbor, a relative or a friend... YKWIM??

[missnikki]

I guess for me it is easy to ask because my parents know I only enroll newborns and my waiting list is a bit over 4 years, now...

I have two babies being born this summer biting at the bit hoping someone moves...:: I also have one holding for next summer...yep, not even conceived...

I don't grill anyone in particular...something like a note on the monthly menus/newsletter like...

"I am updating my waiting list...if anyone may need a "New Bundle" slot in the foreseeable future you better get your bids in now "

Sometimes they get in on the list for themselves....a neighbor, a relative or a friend... YKWIM??

That's way different than point blank asking. I have zero problem with that approach, and if it works for your program, more power to ya!

[kendallina]

I guess for me it is easy to ask because my parents know I only enroll newborns and my waiting list is a bit over 4 years, now...

I have two babies being born this summer biting at the bit hoping someone moves...:: I also have one holding for next summer...yep, not even conceived...

I don't grill anyone in particular...something like a note on the monthly menus/newsletter like...

"I am updating my waiting list...if anyone may need a "New Bundle" slot in the foreseeable future you better get your bids in now "

Sometimes they get in on the list for themselves....a neighbor, a relative or a friend... YKWIM??

I think doing it this way is a great idea!

[Unregistered]

I like Catherders approach too!

We are struggling with infertility currently and I have one of my DCMoms asking all the time when we are going to have another baby. It makes me angry and feel bad every time. She also is always talking about them trying for another baby too. That is good for her, but when "baby talk" gets talked about so often and point blank it can hurt!

I understand that both situations will affect our child care arrangements, but I don't have a wait list and 9+ months leaves a lot of time for changes! So just keep your situation in mind and take a gentle approach.