I Really Don't Understand Some People

[squareone]

Ok, I'm just not explaining myself correctly. Like I've said before, my property is not set up like most houses. I don't have a front yard or back yard. There's my house, then a side yard, which is completely surrounded by a privacy fence. My house is on the top of a steep hill, with a staircase leading up to the yard. We don't have a "front door". We have a side door leading to the yard, and a back door leading to the alleyway. The kid comes up the stairs into the yard by himself.

So picture coming up the stairs into a yard with the house at your right.

Now imagine walking straight from the gate into the yard, keep walking straight through the yard (past the house, which is on the right) and that's where the other end of the fence is. There's a door there in the privacy fence that leads to the alleyway.

I'm sorry to confuse everyone, I would be confused too. Trust me, I was super confused when we saw this house at the time were going to buy it!

If I had the guts, I would tell the mom to cross through my yard and go down the stairs and wait for her son. Maybe it's just me, but I feel weird about having her cross my property like that.

Really, the point of the post was to vent about how early she comes. It just confuses me why she does this. I don't mind helping her son, who has some special needs, to the car. That's not the problem. What I don't get is why she even needs me after school, but from talking to her, I don't think she gets it.

It just seems unecessary for her to come to your property at all. The bottom line is that if she has 20 minutes to spare she can just pick him up AT THE SCHOOL!!! He shouldn't even have to ride the bus. Unless there is some rule in your school district that says bus riders must ride in the morning AND in teh afternoon.

[Zoe]

It just seems unecessary for her to come to your property at all. The bottom line is that if she has 20 minutes to spare she can just pick him up AT THE SCHOOL!!! He shouldn't even have to ride the bus. Unless there is some rule in your school district that says bus riders must ride in the morning AND in teh afternoon.

That's exactly what I've been thinking! I tried to talk to her about it once and she got upset. I don't think she understands things very well in general. She's so scared that I won't take her kid anymore, but it doesn't seem to me that she even needs after school care. I gave up reasoning with her a few months ago.

Tomorrow I'm going to try watching him cross the yard to get to the car and see how it goes, see if he can handle it. Maybe it will make things easier.

[Autismworld]

It just seems unecessary for her to come to your property at all. The bottom line is that if she has 20 minutes to spare she can just pick him up AT THE SCHOOL!!! He shouldn't even have to ride the bus. Unless there is some rule in your school district that says bus riders must ride in the morning AND in teh afternoon.

The bus ride may be something that she wants to continue due to his special needs.... I have children with special needs and my son used to ride the SE van to and from school... it took a lot to get him to be able to ride the school bus with the typical kids... I wouldn't want to do anything to disrupt this and send us back to square one... maybe the mom has a reason for keeping him on the bus.

[MG&Lsmom]

It just seems unecessary for her to come to your property at all. The bottom line is that if she has 20 minutes to spare she can just pick him up AT THE SCHOOL!!! He shouldn't even have to ride the bus. Unless there is some rule in your school district that says bus riders must ride in the morning AND in teh afternoon.

A lot of districts in my area have this rule. It's making for some very angry and inconvenienced parents, and providers! On top of the fact that the way around the issue is paying the school district for after school care .

So I have 2 SA that started today and they only come 3 days a week. The parents are driving them to school the other days. Mom just told me that she has to send in a note every single day (even tho it's every W/TH) that they will be parent pick up. I told her to just pick them up here. They are at 2 different schools and she has to get out of the car at each school, walk across the street and wait for the doors to open/child to be released. All with a 2yo in tow. It's crazy.

As for the waiting. 20 mins is excessive. I'd tell her the dogs are going nuts disrupting napping. Maybe 10 is more reasonable if the bus is random. And I'd make it her job to cross your yard and get him off the bus if the space does not allow for her to park on the street during the winter months. As soon as that snow melts, ask her to walk around the block. The exercise is good for both of them.

[ninosqueridos]

I like the her cutting across your yard option you mentioned. That way you wouldn't be leaving the rest of your dck's, right?

[DBug]

I think I can understand the dc mom's reasoning -- if her son is special needs, she may not want to change the usual routine and possibly confuse matters or frustrate him. I've had dc parents continue to drive way out of their way to pick up their kids at my bus stop, just so the kids (kindy and gr. 1) wouldn't have to deal with changes to their bussing schedule, even though I was no longer caring for them.

And it is odd that the dc mom is sitting there for 20 minutes, but maybe she has the extra time because of her work schedule. 20 minutes is enough time to kill, but it might not be enough time to grab some groceries or whatever, so she's left with waiting at OP's place.

However, if I were OP, I think I'd tell dc mom to just let herself through the yard. Yeah, it's a little weird having someone traipse through your yard every day, but it's alot less disruptive than the alternative ...

[Zoe]

Thank you for all of your responses! I'm going to try to get over my issue with having her in my yard and try to put her in charge of getting her kid. It would really be easier if I didn't have to watch out my window to see if he's coming and all the rest!

Thanks again!