Experience with Foster Kids/Parents?

[girlmomma]

Do any of you have experience with foster children and their foster parents? This is my first ever experience and I am actually disappointed and will likely never enroll any foster children again.

I have this DCB in my care 7:01 to 5:30 PM everyday - my hours are 7:00 to 5:30 PM. I roll my eyes every time she pulls into my driveway as I’m opening the blinds because she legit leaves her house at 6:30 to be at my door at opening.

The Foster Mom has been on maternity leave since mid-February & hasn’t mentioned returning to work at all. This Foster Mom has asked me to have DCB’s therapist come to my home to do his therapy, I declined that & she was visibly upset and angrily said “well he’ll be late on Monday.” I just roll my eyes. I constantly have DCS coming to pick up the DCB to take him to supervised visits with his bio dad. DCS is always late, never on time & the Foster Mom says “yep, that’s our life daily.” Okay, but it’s an inconvenience. It makes me so mad because she’s at home with one baby and I’m taking care of 4 other children that want to go outside and play but can’t because I’m waiting for someone to show up.

I didn’t sign up to be the Foster parent. I provide child care & I feel so bad for this DCB. When I shut down for vacation or a day off, Foster Mom will send him to her mom’s house.

Do you all allow for children to be in your care from open to close? There is another daycare in my town that charges after so many hours, of course her foster parents pay it because they don’t want to deal with the foster child. Would you allow DCS to pick up a child from you? Are all foster parents like this??? Ugh I’m so frustrated!

[PB&J]

I’ve only had one foster child, and it was fine. DCS was on time, but if they weren’t, I would have gone about my day and let them pick up the child during whatever activity was happening. If we were outside, I would just make sure the child had whatever was needed for pickup, including our sign out book.

When I had questions, several people on this site gave helpful answers so hopefully they will chime in - especially if you have a specific question. You can go to the “search” button, click “tag search” and type in “foster” and see what has been discussed by other providers. There was good advice about documenting and other things that come up.

I hope you work the kinks out. Children in foster care are stuck in a crazy bureaucracy that makes care hard enough, let alone when the foster parents make things difficult.

[Unregistered]

I don't have experience with foster parents, but I have had 2 kids that were in the system. I won't take kids anymore who are in the system because of some issues like you explained.

DFS would stop by unannounced to check on them - usually during nap. I also had one who had an ad litem and she would also show up unannounced. Like you, DFS would show up to pick up dck to see his dad for a visit, and then she'd bring him back. I asked my licenser if I could tell the guardian that I didn't want them showing up anymore and he told me no. He said they have to have access to the child at any time. The parents weren't bad, just dealing with extra visits and people showing up whenever they wanted was enough for me to not want to deal with it.

Thankfully, one was a temporary situation. The other one told me dck would be going back with her mom by X date, but failed to tell me that dck was not going back with her mom and she still needed care. I told the guardian that I filled the spot since I thought she was leaving (which was a lie, but they didn't know that).

I have the same hours as you, so parents use them as they wish. My only thought is replacing the child and letting foster mom know that the visits are too disruptive to your group.

[girlmomma]

I’ve only had one foster child, and it was fine. DCS was on time, but if they weren’t, I would have gone about my day and let them pick up the child during whatever activity was happening. If we were outside, I would just make sure the child had whatever was needed for pickup, including our sign out book.

When I had questions, several people on this site gave helpful answers so hopefully they will chime in - especially if you have a specific question. You can go to the “search” button, click “tag search” and type in “foster” and see what has been discussed by other providers. There was good advice about documenting and other things that come up.

I hope you work the kinks out. Children in foster care are stuck in a crazy bureaucracy that makes care hard enough, let alone when the foster parents make things difficult.

I run a home daycare so when DCS wants to come and get DCB, it’s usually when we’re ready to be outside. It wouldn’t be a big deal, but my backyard is fenced in with an 8’ privacy fence. I’m afraid I wouldn’t hear DCS.

[girlmomma]

I don't have experience with foster parents, but I have had 2 kids that were in the system. I won't take kids anymore who are in the system because of some issues like you explained.

DFS would stop by unannounced to check on them - usually during nap. I also had one who had an ad litem and she would also show up unannounced. Like you, DFS would show up to pick up dck to see his dad for a visit, and then she'd bring him back. I asked my licenser if I could tell the guardian that I didn't want them showing up anymore and he told me no. He said they have to have access to the child at any time. The parents weren't bad, just dealing with extra visits and people showing up whenever they wanted was enough for me to not want to deal with it.

Thankfully, one was a temporary situation. The other one told me dck would be going back with her mom by X date, but failed to tell me that dck was not going back with her mom and she still needed care. I told the guardian that I filled the spot since I thought she was leaving (which was a lie, but they didn't know that).

I have the same hours as you, so parents use them as they wish. My only thought is replacing the child and letting foster mom know that the visits are too disruptive to your group.

Did you ever get to the point you wanted to tell the family they needed to do pick ups from their own home? My frustration is more so that the Foster Mom is at home and I am the one dealing with all of his pick ups. In addition to the fact that with how long DCB is here, I feel like she sees him and his sister as a paycheck every month. Right now, I am waiting for her to pick him at 3:20 so she can meet a social worker by 3:45 so he can go to another family for the weekend. Why commit to being a foster parent if you’re going to stick the child in daycare open to close then send him off for the weekend? This happens every weekend FYI, not just so they get a break. Supposedly DCB is going back with his family at the end of May. His spot really is filled already & I won’t do this ever again.

[Alwaysgreener]

I run a home daycare so when DCS wants to come and get DCB, it’s usually when we’re ready to be outside. It wouldn’t be a big deal, but my backyard is fenced in with an 8’ privacy fence. I’m afraid I wouldn’t hear DCS.

Ben there on both sides. Fostered for 3.5 years, sometimes the foster parent has no choice in times that others have access to kids but other times they do.

I have also had foster kids in care and sometimes the telephone affect does not work well and you need to talk directly to the DCS when they pick up.

Start off by confirming with DCS what time to expect them. Make them sign the child out and back in. Inspect the child for injuries when they return in front of DCS. Have them Text you when they arrive (use that as sign in and out if you want to, have them Text drop off/ pick up with child's name -- you could do a group text with Dcm),. Make sure you have their number and text them if the are running late. (I had a dcs get lost on her way back)

As for hours, I limit the number of hours to 9.5 for all clients unless they can show that commuting will take longer. Since she is home you could cut her back to 8 with a new policy that states Families on FMLA are limited to 8 hours per day, all the rest is 9 hours unless more time is needed for commute. This means that you will not have a dedicated stop and start time but each family my have there own.

Also when I was a foster parent, never did I ever have the ad litem or anyone else ever need to visit the day care. They all came to my house to visit the kids.

Remember, each family is going to be different and another foster family could be in it for the kids and not the money. You may end up with a foster Dcm like I had last year. The kids were here for 8.5 hours while she worked. The only time she wasn't working was because she had some things to do concerning them like going to court.


One last thing, be prepared to start talking about DCB leaving at the beginning of May, at least 30 before you expect him to leave. So Dcm knows that the spot is filled, just in case going home is delayed, there is a good chance that they will be delayed but Dcm may also have him moved too.

[Unregistered]

Have one now, the only issue is we never are sure whos picking up as he goes to respite care 3 days and home with foster parent for 4. Other than that, the child goes to thephy once a week and comes back and has a VERY hard transition.
Other foster kid we had had some severe issues. His social worker stopped by once a week, and he was usually mid fit. On FD pick up days, he would leave at a decent time (730-430). On FM days she was often 6 (our closing) or later. Often just paid the fee too. About 3 weeks in, they sent him to another foster home, they picked up late daily and told us they didnt even like him. Eventually grandma got him back and was staying in her car with him. There in a house now and doing great

[JoanPiper]

With foster children, it can be difficult, it can be easy. Everyone needs their own approach and time. Good luck to you, I hope you can solve your problem!

[e.j.]

Do you all allow for children to be in your care from open to close? There is another daycare in my town that charges after so many hours, of course her foster parents pay it because they don’t want to deal with the foster child. Would you allow DCS to pick up a child from you? Are all foster parents like this??? Ugh I’m so frustrated!

I did have a child in foster care but it worked out fine for me. DCS worker was generally on time when she picked dcg up for visits with her bio family, left quickly and rather than return dcg to me after, she would bring her to the foster mother's mother's home instead. It prevented a lot of coming and going which kept the level of craziness down for all of us. It sounds as though the situation isn't working well for you, though. Rather than continue to feel frustrated, would it make more sense to speak with the foster mom and explain that the arrangement isn't working for you and give her an end date? The end of May will be here before too long but is the frustration worth dealing with for you?

[JoanPiper]

With foster children, it can be difficult, it can be easy. Everyone needs their own approach and time. Good luck to you, I hope you can solve your problem!!

[girlmomma]

Thank you for all of the responses. I am just going to stick it out until May 27th - I say that now because DCB isn’t here this week so I’m not dealing with all of the changes LOL

I plan to let her know that his spot is filled so after May 27th, I won’t have a spot for him regardless of what happens with their bio family.

In the future, I plan to add the restricted hours to avoid having children open to close & I may or may not accept foster children in the future. I know not all foster parents are the same - I met a really great family this past weekend! But the changes and inconveniences foster children come with can be challenging.