Overbearing Parent

[Josiegirl]

Yikes, and today was his first day? Ask her how you're supposed to care for her 2 children and the others as well, when you're catering to her every whim?:confused: Well ok, maybe not. TG there are only 2 more days this week.

[Unregistered]

Overbearing parent

I will let a new parent text me multiple times a day for a week or two and then it has to stop. I don’t have time during my day. As far as potty training her 2 1/2 year old I don’t potty train. Child must initiate potty training at home first and then I will start at daycare. I’ve had this policy for 35 years without much resistance.

[mamadaycare]

I have "quiet hours" meaning they can text but after a certain time of day I stop responding and will pick it up the next day. Also, if I'm WORKING I'm not on my phone, so unless it's an emergency I don't respond then either.

I implemented this last night for the first time when she texted me at 7:15 at night asking if he took his binky and I was in the Safe with You training. This was not an urgent matter so I responded this morning.

[mamadaycare]

I will let a new parent text me multiple times a day for a week or two and then it has to stop. I don’t have time during my day. As far as potty training her 2 1/2 year old I don’t potty train. Child must initiate potty training at home first and then I will start at daycare. I’ve had this policy for 35 years without much resistance.

I usually would, but she is texting me just to text me at this point. I feel like its more of what she can control than anything. Tell me more about the potty training! Do you have the parents stay home a few days with them and then allow them to come back start potty training them in your program?

[CountryRoads]

I implemented this last night for the first time when she texted me at 7:15 at night asking if he took his binky and I was in the Safe with You training. This was not an urgent matter so I responded this morning.

She texted you to ask if he took his binky??

Oh my. But yes, that's a good rule to follow. If it's not urgent, she can wait until business hours.

[mamadaycare]

She texted you to ask if he took his binky??

Oh my. But yes, that's a good rule to follow. If it's not urgent, she can wait until business hours.

Oh yeah, I feel like she just has to text me. I don't see why it would even matter either way if he took his binky or not. But apparently she just felt the need to know.

[Blackcat31]

Oh yeah, I feel like she just has to text me. I don't see why it would even matter either way if he took his binky or not. But apparently she just felt the need to know.

I used to have parents that text me outside of business hours. I would reply with the following:

"ABC Childcare is currently closed. Please contact me during business hours as I am spending time with my family. Thank you!"

.....and then I would NOT respond for ANY reason.
If they stopped texting and called I did not answer.

There literally is NO VALID reason a parents needs to contact you outside of business hours.

If it got really bad, I would verbally tell the parent the next day at drop off "Sally, I understand you have questions, comments etc but please limit these things to my business hours only as I too have a family that deserves my uninterrupted time and attention. I am sure you can understand."


Having a strong backbone is hard but it's necessary in this profession. Building and using a strong back bone or addressing every need a parent has .... either option is difficult but only one is positive and necessary.

[Blackcat31]

In regards to potty training, here is a good thread with some info you can print and share with mom ....

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90763

I do not involve myself in potty training at all.
It's a parental responsibility.

[mamadaycare]

In regards to potty training, here is a good thread with some info you can print and share with mom ....

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90763

I do not involve myself in potty training at all.
It's a parental responsibility.

Thank you so much! I love the idea of having the parents do it at home since we are only one person. And he is not ready at all to be potty trained. He shows zero interest and doesn't have the self awareness to know he needs to pee. I tried it for one day and he peed his pants twice even with taking him every 30 minutes and I told mom no more!

[Ariana]

Look up some of my threads regarding a crazy texting neurotic mother. I dealt with her for over a year. It was the worst. I tried to lay many many boundaries and in the end I closed due to Covid but I will never enrol a neurotic mom ever again. She did calm down in terms of being anxiety ridden about her kid but the texting kept going and going. Even after I closed. I had to block her in the end.

These types of people have no clue what a boundary is! She took years off my life I swear. I would try and nip this in the bud right away and just let her know what you CAN do for her. This is how my husband used to counsel me regarding her behaviour. Instead of s asserting “no I can’t do that”, let her know what you CAN do. So for example you telling her you can do the owlet for this week only is perfect. Don’t be wish washy in any way and the good thing is that you don’t care if she pulls or not because she is annoying AF

[Snowmom]

I'm still stuck on the "wants an owlet and yet wants to sleep in a swing". :confused::confused:

This one is wacky.

[Sunshine69]

These types of people have no clue what a boundary is!

This! ^ Exactly!

I like the idea of a canned text message that your daycare is closed and you will address the text during your business hours.

There are definitely good reasons parents can message you after hours. Some can’t really use their phones during their workdays, so I allow for a reasonable amount of messages. When they message something that isn’t necessary, I ignore it until they come in and discuss it with them then. If they continue to text unreasonably, they get the canned message.

Most figure out the boundaries and learn to respect them.

I’ve had to talk myself out of feeling guilty for setting the boundaries and possibly offending them but then I remind myself that it didn’t bother them to attempt micromanaging my business or interrupting my family time and, POOF, no more guilt.