Slow Poke Children...

[WImom]

(Sorry this is so long)
I have siblings (DCG almost 4y and DCB 2.5y) - I need some tips on getting them to move faster. One of the problems is the parents allow this 'taking for ever' thing to go on at pick up/drop off. It take them about 20 minutes both times a day. The parents let it happen for 10 minutes or so and then tell them 'okay, we have to go now' but then let it take another 10 minutes to get ready.

For me the problem is mainly for going to the rest room for the DCG and getting stuff on for outside time for both of them. They are also my last two done eating most days as well. They seem to be in lala land. What I've been doing so far is:

DCG - making her go last for the potty so other don't have to wait so long. Also not waiting for her at story time before nap. I give her 10 minutes and remind her twice that I'm starting books soon. So far this week she's missed all the storytimes. It takes her 10-15 minutes to go pee, do her clothes and wash hands. (Now, I know she can do this all on her own because if I'm in there telling her to focus it take just a few minutes). Sometimes it take 3-4 minutes just for her to walk to the bathroom.

DCG and DCB - I had them start getting ready to go outside 10 minutes earlier than the rest of the kids because it can take up to 20 minutes to get their stuff on and that's with me saying something every few minutes. The rest of the kids (one 3y and one almost 3y can get dressed in 5 minutes). Again I help with zippers and boots but they can just sit their on their pile of stuff starring into lala land for the whole time if I'd let them. Doesn't matter on them starting early. They still are last and we are waiting.

Since the parents are no help here should I just do the stuff for them to make it faster? They are here 5 days a week so I figured things would get better but they have not over 6 months. I'm all for doing things independently but myself and the other kids are tired of waiting all the time.

What would you do?

[laundrymom]

Honestly?? I wouldn't wait on them. I'd send them potty first, as soon as they have peed and put on unders they would be ushered into the hall to dress. While the others did their potty time. Going outside I take slowpokes out and make them sit on the porch and dress while we play.

[daycare]

timer.... get a kitchen timer and tell them when it goes off you have to be done if your not you wont get to participate in the activity we are doing.

Cut off meal times. give them 25 min to eat and no longer...they will get it and they will eat. 25 min is more than enough time to eat...

I had the issue with one of the kids and it was driving me crazy... I got the kitchen timer and when it went off the kid is now done... especially when its time to go outside...
you have 8 minutes to get on shoes, jackets and line up... if you are not ready to go then you dont get to play.. you get to sit by me...

sounds mean, but trust me they will get a fire lit under their butts when they start losing activities.

[WImom]

the only thing is it's too cold for them not to be dressed for outside. I've thought of just taking them out the way they are but with the weather right now I really can't. I wish I had a porch to make them stay on to get dressed but we walk around my garage to go out back to our fenced area so I don't have anywhere to really leave them. I guess if they aren't done I'll just put on their jacket and gloves/hat and boots (no snow pants, no snow playing for the day but atleast they are dressed for the weather and can stand by me or throw a tantrum and have wet/cold pants...which I know will happen...)

I've done the timer thing for meals. It doesn't make them faster but I don't have to wait on them either so a win for me I guess....

I like the idea of making her get dressed in the hall. I think I will try that.

I normally don't do sticker charts but maybe I will for 'beating the timer' for getting clothes on for outside time.

[daycare]

the only thing is it's too cold for them not to be dressed for outside. I've thought of just taking them out the way they are but with the weather right now I really can't. I wish I had a porch to make them stay on to get dressed but we walk around my garage to go out back to our fenced area so I don't have anywhere to really leave them. I guess if they aren't done I'll just put on their jacket and gloves/hat and boots (no snow pants, no snow playing for the day but atleast they are dressed for the weather and can stand by me or throw a tantrum and have wet/cold pants...which I know will happen...)

I've done the timer thing for meals. It doesn't make them faster but I don't have to wait on them either so a win for me I guess....

I like the idea of making her get dressed in the hall. I think I will try that.

I normally don't do sticker charts but maybe I will for 'beating the timer' for getting clothes on for outside time.

sorry to sound blunt but WHAT?
why would you dress them? how will they ever learn? You are only hurting the situaiton and making it worse. they have to learn to go with the flow or the flow goes without them.... take their activity away trust me if you dont they wont move.........

[WImom]

To answer your question I would be dressing them (after the timer goes off) because I'm not taking a child outside without proper clothing when it's 15-20 degrees outside (or colder some days) for 20-30 minutes.
They will lose the activitiy because they didn't get dressed by standing by me instead of playing but until it gets warmer I can't just take them out.

If my licensor came and I had kids without coats on I'd be in some big trouble.

[daymommy]

I think we have the same kid! The parents get just as frustrated as me though. Luckily he's competitive so if I make things a race (lets see who can get their shoes on first, etc) he does better. Unfortenately it doesn't help with things he does solo like going potty...and I really don't like to encourage racing while eating. I also have started stories without him instead of waiting for him to finish going potty and have a meal cut off time, but it doesn't seem to phase him. Sorry not much help, but I feel your pain!

[WImom]

daymommy - I could see if the parents cared but they don't seem to mind it most days. I've tried racing but they don't care. If I come up with something that seems to really work I'll let you know.

I will say they are awesome at clean up time though!

[daycare]

To answer your question I would be dressing them (after the timer goes off) because I'm not taking a child outside without proper clothing when it's 15-20 degrees outside (or colder some days) for 20-30 minutes.
They will lose the activitiy because they didn't get dressed by standing by me instead of playing but until it gets warmer I can't just take them out.

If my licensor came and I had kids without coats on I'd be in some big trouble.

sorry I got it now that makes sense.... I didnt realize that you were still going to have them lose their activity... yes that would be too cold to go outside without proper clothing.

[nannyde]

Any chance these kids have suffered shaken baby syndrome? Does it seem they have pervasive delays in other areas?

I would dress them both up to the last possible thing and have them do that ... like zip up. Once they started doing that then I would add the second to the last thing. IOW, just give them the end portion of everything and work your way backwards.

With meals I would most likely puree as much as I could and hand feed them the rest of the meals (if they would accept fruit puree or soft desert like puddings). I would have them self do until the last few minutes and then offer them the rest hand fed.

With arrival and departure I would do EVERYTHING and just get them in and out the door fast. Arrival and departure is NOT a time to build skill.

With pottying I would have them be the last one to go and let them sit for about five minutes. Sometimes giving them a back rub on the lower portion of the back as they are leaning forward (with elbows on their thighs) will stimulate them to start the peeing. Another one is light fingertips rubbing will get them to start to go. Also, try allowing them to rock front to back. If you can get them to do a rhyme to the rhythm of the rocking it will pull their mind away from starting to pee or poop. You can also turn the cold water on the sink with it coming out in a sound pattern that changes from second to second... not just a full on full throttle water sound.

Just try some "getcha started" on the potty techniques and you may find it makes it go WAY faster.

[WImom]

nannyd - they don't have anything wrong with them other than they are very slow to getting things done when asked. DCG also goes potty fine. Once she gets on the potty she pees right away. She's just too busy singing to her self, etc actually walk to the potty, to wipe, get pants on or off, wash hands, etc. If I stand in the bathroom and make sure she stays focused she can be in and out in a few minutes but at almost 4y I should have to do that. I think the problem is the parents allow them to dilly dally (Sp?) and when they first came here 6 months ago they constantly wanted me to do everything for them ('No, you do it" was said alot) but I worked on them dressing themselves, taking off their own shoes, etc. and they are alot more indendent since they started coming here but they just take forever doing it but they can't stay focused.