So Sad...

[dEHmom]

That was my initial thought. I think she tried to cover something up and things just got out of hand way too quick and unexpectedly.

Or maybe not fast enough and she had to go back in and wait it out for a bit.

[marniewon]

Are you guys thinking there may have been a death or injury from Shaken Baby or something else, and that she set the fire thinking she could get everyone out in time and then blame the injury/death on the fire?

I'm thinking along those lines, but why the trip to the store? She could really get in trouble for that, even if anything else that happened managed to get covered up! She could have stuck with her story about being in the bathroom instead of physically leaving the house.

[Crystal]

How would you feel if a new parent asked to spend an entire day with you before enrolling?

I'd be fine with it and I have done it. I encourage parents to spend time observing so that they can be certain I am the right provider for their child and family.

[dEHmom]

but why the trip to the store?

to get oil?

[QualiTcare]

I wouldn't allow it...it would be very disruptive. Here's the thing...you can spend a whole week with a provider and not know what is REALLY going on. An abusive, negligent provider isn't going to abusive and negligent when a parent is in the house. They can certainly pretend to be loving and nuturing for a day.

well, there are things you can see by observing that might turn you off (or that you might really like) even when someone is aware they're being watched. i mean, if someone doesn't make the kids wash their hands after playing in the dirt and before they eat while you're WATCHING - imagine what they do when you're not. i had to spend looots of time observing in college and i saw tons of things that shocked me. so, it's not really that someone would expect a provider to beat a child while they watch, but you can pick up on a lot of things. kids are so honest too - if something isn't normal they'll say, "you never make us do that!" or "why are we doing it this way?!"

it's a person decision for everyone, but i think if you have control over the kids - it shouldn't be that big of a deal to let them know there will be a visitor and expect them to act like humans.

[jen]

I was thinking of the abuse factor because of the thread it appeared on. It never really occurred to me that someone might not wash kids hands...but I suppose that there are providers who aren't bright enough to wash kids hands even with a parent there.

I've allowed people to observe, but not for a whole day. Personally, I wouldn't like that. What am I going to do with them during nap? I have zero desire to spend 8 to 10 hours entertaining a parent...and yes, I know, I wouldn't have to, but that is who I am. I would definitely feel like I had an obligation to be host to them, while still doing daycare.

I, as a daycare parent, would be concerned that a stranger spent the day with my child. They would really need a background check before that would even be OK with licensing. If its just me and 8 kids, allowing a complete stranger to spend the day in my house really doesn't seem safe at all. I can see it in a center where there is a bigger staff...

In other words, there is a lot more to it than some fear that I won't be able to contain my kids.

[daycare]

I was thinking of the abuse factor because of the thread it appeared on. It never really occurred to me that someone might not wash kids hands...but I suppose that there are providers who aren't bright enough to wash kids hands even with a parent there.

I've allowed people to observe, but not for a whole day. Personally, I wouldn't like that. What am I going to do with them during nap? I have zero desire to spend 8 to 10 hours entertaining a parent...and yes, I know, I wouldn't have to, but that is who I am. I would definitely feel like I had an obligation to be host to them, while still doing daycare.

I, as a daycare parent, would be concerned that a stranger spent the day with my child. They would really need a background check before that would even be OK with licensing. If its just me and 8 kids, allowing a complete stranger to spend the day in my house really doesn't seem safe at all. I can see it in a center where there is a bigger staff...

In other words, there is a lot more to it than some fear that I won't be able to contain my kids.

I had posted this right after the fires. most of us responded NO that we would not allow for it. I asked this question, because the news channel that is covering the fire story had a website to go to for parents seeking childcare. #1 thing parents wanted was to be able to see how the provider interacted with the children. As a parent I would also wnat to see this, but as a provider i would not allow it.

As you said, I would not let a stranger in my home around the kids. This is what the 2 week trail is for.

[Unregistered]

I havent read every single post on here so maybe someone mentioned this already but why did she leave a pan of oil cooking on the stove and leave to go to the store? It sounds intentional to me. I never leave my house without checking the stove (even if I havent cooked with it for days!) I think this lady had something to hide and the fact that she had already been involved with an intentionally set fire makes me extra suspicious. How many people have had 2 fires happen in a matter of a few years (especially when they are only 22?) Sounds like she either intentionally set this to cover up something else or has some sick mental issue with fire.

[daycare]

I agree.. I dont even walk to my mailbox without freaking out that something could go wrong, and I only go to the mailbox when they are asleep. Its at the end of the driveway .

I agree, she is hiding something.... But what? and will we ever find out?

[Crystal]

For me it is not so difficult to have a parent observe prior to starting...I have my husband working here full time. As far as the whole stranger thing.....my parents trust me. They know I'd send someone packing if they were the slightest threat. I also have LOTS of people here regularly....right now I have three student teachers working here 3 hours per day - they are college students and I don't know them before they start and neither do my parents, but again my parents trust me to be a good judge of wether or not that person should be here.

More often than not, potential clients don't do lengthy observations, but nearly every one of my families recieved 2 hours free daycare daily for a whole week prior to starting their children full-days so that they could get a feel for how their children responded to being in my care.

After the experiences I had when placing my own children in care many years ago, the reason I started my own program being the lack of quality care out there, I WISH I had done lengthy observations prior to enrolling them and wish all parents would.

[dEHmom]

I agree.. I dont even walk to my mailbox without freaking out that something could go wrong, and I only go to the mailbox when they are asleep. Its at the end of the driveway .

I agree, she is hiding something.... But what? and will we ever find out?

I don't go to my mailbox, unless they are sleeping as well. But usually dh just gets mail when he gets home. And my mailbox is 5 ft out my front door, and 5 feet from my back door.


I still think she went to the store for the oil. Make it look like she was trying to cook. I think there's something greater here, some sort of serious accident and she thought the fire was the best cover for it.

[Crystal]

I wouldn't allow it...it would be very disruptive. Here's the thing...you can spend a whole week with a provider and not know what is REALLY going on. An abusive, negligent provider isn't going to abusive and negligent when a parent is in the house. They can certainly pretend to be loving and nuturing for a day.

I conduct ECERS on programs. The first hour typically goes very well. But after that first hour, teachers/providers tend to slack off. I have seen many issues arise in the second and third hour of observations....many times they have been things I have been required to report to licensing. It's not easy to "fake" your routine, your interactions or the reactions to a misbehaving child for an extended period of time.

[jen]

I conduct ECERS on programs. The first hour typically goes very well. But after that first hour, teachers/providers tend to slack off. I have seen many issues arise in the second and third hour of observations....many times they have been things I have been required to report to licensing. It's not easy to "fake" your routine, your interactions or the reactions to a misbehaving child for an extended period of time.

Perhaps, although I would hazzard to guess that you are looking at things from a much differenct perspective than a parent. Most parents are looking for general safety and positive interactions between the provider and the kids. You are looking from a licensing perspective with a skill set most parents don't have.

[Crystal]

Perhaps, although I would hazzard to guess that you are looking at things from a much differenct perspective than a parent. Most parents are looking for general safety and positive interactions between the provider and the kids. You are looking from a licensing perspective with a skill set most parents don't have.

Correct. BUT, as I said, in an extended observation of oh say three hours, the parent will also notice, as I said before

"It's not easy to "fake" your routine, your interactions or the reactions to a misbehaving child for an extended period of time. "

[jen]

Correct. BUT, as I said, in an extended observation of oh say three hours, the parent will also notice, as I said before

"It's not easy to "fake" your routine, your interactions or the reactions to a misbehaving child for an extended period of time. "

LOL...we're going to have to agree to disagree. I think that a provider can easily make nice for an extended period of time with a parent in the room with them.