Heartbreaking Review

[Pandaluver21]

I have been doing this job for 12+years now. I have had the occasional crazy parent, but most families end up being with us for several years and leave great reviews.
However, the other day I got a notification that a previous parent left a bad review on our facebook page. This parent was one of my awesome parents!! They were with us for 3 years. Things were a little weird by the end (they wanted to come early, I asked that they paid the additional $5 fee stated in the handbook, they gave their 2week notice) However, when she left she said she loved having her daughter with us, and to keep her number because she would never give us a bad review. 9 years later, and she decided to do so? :confused:
She said that her now 12yr old daughter (12 as of yesterday) still has anxiety from being here?!? She said that she got scratched by one of our cats within a week of starting and that she "regretted" staying with us to give us the benefit of the doubt. She also stated that she will never again "Choose price over quality" Ouch... what a low blow! She stayed for THREE YEARS! The little girl would be going to kindergarten in a few months anyway...
When she left she went on a list of things that bothered her, but she "never brought up" (the cat scratch being one) but they were all little things and honestly, I wish she WOULD have brought them up!! But even after that, she said she loved having her kid with us... so I"m just confused!
She previously wrote a great review for us, that is on my website. I'm just not sure what changed?!

Anyway... I would like some help responding. Please let me know how this sounds?

Hello ____. I am heartbroken, and a little surprised by this review, especially since I have a great review from you when you left 9 years ago. I am truly sorry. We genuinely loved having your family with us for those 3 years.

[Cat Herder]

My edits: Hello ____. I am heartbroken and shocked by this review, especially since I have treasured the great review you left me when your family left my care 9 years ago. I am truly hurt. I genuinely loved having your family here for those 3 years. Flip victim/persecutor.

Sounds like Mom is dealing with her own demons through your former daycare child. Depression, maybe? Marriage going south? Loneliness not that DCG is spending more time with friends than her? Drama creation for attention is the rally cry for some of these women who can't find another source.

[Pandaluver21]

My edits: Hello ____. I am heartbroken, and shocked by this review, especially since I have treasured the great review you left me when your family left my care 9 years ago. I am truly hurt. We genuinely loved having your family here for those 3 years. Flip victim/persecutor.

Sounds like Mom is dealing with her own demons through your former daycare child. Depression, maybe? Marriage going south? Loneliness not that DCG is spending more time with friends than her? Drama creation for attention is the rally cry for some of these women who can't find another source.

I do like your edit, but why do you suggest "i'm truly hurt" instead of "I'm truly sorry" I probably wouldn't put that I'm sorry in a conversation, but because it's a review that other parents will see... plus I already stated that it hurt me, so I didnt feel the need to say it again.
I wrote two previous to this. One straight forward calling her out.
One heart felt and way to personal.
This was my middle ground.

I believe mom has gotten divorced since being with us, but that looks like it was a few years ago.
My mom said "maybe PMS?! :: "

[Cat Herder]

Apologizing means you admit to guilt. You are a business, not just a person in this matter.

You did nothing wrong.

I know by saying it you mean "I'm sorry you feel that way" but not even that is true. You are offended and hurt, not sorry. It is a societal construct placed on women. Men don't feel inclined to do it at all. What do you think your Dad would have said in your shoes?

[Pandaluver21]

Apologizing means you admit to guilt. You are a business, not just a person in this matter.

You did nothing wrong.

I know by saying it you mean "I'm sorry you feel that way" but not even that is true. You are offended and hurt, not sorry. It is a societal construct placed on women. Men don't feel inclined to do it at all. What do you think your Dad would have said in your shoes?

I think it's best not to repeat what my dad would say :: He usually has his "what I really want to say" response, and then his "What's actually professional" response
I had looked up what to say in response to negative reviews, and EVERYTHING said "i'm sorry that happens to you" or "I'm sorry you had a negative experience" But I didn't want to apologize for something that didn't happen... She didn't have a bad experience with us, she stated that herself 9 years ago...
Over the last 12 years of doing this I have stopped apologizing, stopped making things fit the families, stopped bending over backwards, and have gained a back bone. If this was face to face I definitely would respond differently. Or even if this was a conversation between me and the parent privately through facebook. Mostly I want the best response for if other parents read it.

[Cat Herder]

If I were a parent reading it and saw she waited 9 years to post it, I would immediately know it was about her and not your program.

I am pretty confident most would agree. Maybe just take out the entire "I am truly hurt" sentence completely.

[Pandaluver21]

So I've come to realize this forum us just there to tell me what I already know and make me actually go through with it :P
Every time I post I just get the answer I already know... guess it's just hearing it from another point of view that helps! ::

[happymom]

This review made me feel so sad for you. It also prompted to write a review for my old daycare

[Josiegirl]

This review made me feel so sad for you. It also prompted to write a review for my old daycare

A good one I hope??!!

Yes, pandaluver, trying to put myself in your position and can imagine how it must've felt to read that. I think what CH suggested was just right, including not apologizing. And yes, take out the I'm truly hurt too.

Maybe at the end of "truly loved having your child here for 3 years, and thought we had parted on good terms."

Or not. I tend to rattle on and would be torn between feeling very heartbroken and downright pi$$ed off. I'd probably end up saying things that would get me in trouble. That's why I dislike FB and public reviews, etc. they(meaning everybody) can read between the lines and interpret for themselves what it means.

Good luck and try not to let this one negative review take you down. Focus on the good. Maybe have current parents post some good reviews?

[Pandaluver21]

This review made me feel so sad for you. It also prompted to write a review for my old daycare

:hug: that is so sweet of you!! I'm sure they will appreciate that!! lovethis

[Pandaluver21]

A good one I hope??!!

Yes, pandaluver, trying to put myself in your position and can imagine how it must've felt to read that. I think what CH suggested was just right, including not apologizing. And yes, take out the I'm truly hurt too.

Maybe at the end of "truly loved having your child here for 3 years, and thought we had parted on good terms."

Or not. I tend to rattle on and would be torn between feeling very heartbroken and downright pi$$ed off. I'd probably end up saying things that would get me in trouble. That's why I dislike FB and public reviews, etc. they(meaning everybody) can read between the lines and interpret for themselves what it means.

Good luck and try not to let this one negative review take you down. Focus on the good. Maybe have current parents post some good reviews?

Apparently I lack the ability to get mad, and just get hurt... Sometimes good sometimes bad
This isn't just my job or even my livelihood, it's my passion and it's definitely hard to not take it to heart...

[Blackcat31]

Apparently I lack the ability to get mad, and just get hurt... Sometimes good sometimes bad
This isn't just my job or even my livelihood, it's my passion and it's definitely hard to not take it to heart...

Its important to remember though (especially in this line of work) that sometimes the anger or rudeness shown by others is simply a reflection of their own pain.

:hug:

I am sorry she hurt you. It does **** when we put our whole selves into something and get something negative in return. :hug:

[Unregistered]

Maybe the 12 year old wrote it? Sounds childish. I'd just delete it if possible. COVID has given a lot of people too much free time.

[Mariposa]

Oooh plot twist, the kid wrote it like suggested above.

I agree about the apology-if you are not sorry don't say you are, and you should not feel you have to be.

[Unregistered]

I think it's best not to repeat what my dad would say :: He usually has his "what I really want to say" response, and then his "What's actually professional" response
I had looked up what to say in response to negative reviews, and EVERYTHING said "i'm sorry that happens to you" or "I'm sorry you had a negative experience" But I didn't want to apologize for something that didn't happen... She didn't have a bad experience with us, she stated that herself 9 years ago...
Over the last 12 years of doing this I have stopped apologizing, stopped making things fit the families, stopped bending over backwards, and have gained a back bone. If this was face to face I definitely would respond differently. Or even if this was a conversation between me and the parent privately through facebook. Mostly I want the best response for if other parents read it.

Did u respond? It is usual for someone to leave a review this many years later. I would just say something to the effect of,

Goodness gracious, I don't even know what to say to this review. It has been 9 years since we have spoken to each other. Considering, that we all had a great time for the three years that your child was here, I feel that any concerns that were had at the time would have been brought up then, and not 9 years later. It seems to me, that some of the things mentioned here, are normal things that happen in in childhood. If there is something more specific that you would like to talk about, it is best to p.m. so we can work this out.