When Kids Are "Naughty"

[mncare]

Okay, I really don't like that word, but sometimes that is all that fits the bill. LOL

I have a 4yo dck that has been acting naughty lately, nothing major like hitting, etc. just outright disobedience to me. The kind where you ask them to do something or remind them of a rule and they give you "the look" and do exactly what you told them not too. I also have to remind her a million times (I'm not exaggerating, really!) about things.

So... How much of this behavior is coming from lack of discipline at home/lack of time with her parents (she is here 50 hours and I know how some of you feel about that. ). How much is me reacting to her behaviors in a negative way. I am to the point where I just can't take it and just point to our "time out" spot and she has to go sit. And how much is just her personality--she is a feisty one.

I love her to death, but her behaviors are driving me up a brick wall and I want to learn to deal with it better. As opposed to getting angry. I don't let her see my anger but I am sure she sees the frustration.

I have found if I can get her to laugh that will diffuse the situation, but is that the right thing to do? Or will she start doing it more to get that interaction... but maybe that is okay??

HELP. LOL

[SandeeAR]

Had that recently with my oldest dck. God and I had a little talk about him helping me change my atitude towards it. Then for the next couple of weeks, dck spent a lot of time on the nap bed....several times a day for "direct defiance" (that's my word for the naughty days). Been a whole lot better on both our parts recently.

[Missani]

I hate that word, too, but sometimes it's the only one that fits the bill. Lol!

I have the same problem. I have a 4 yr. old that is usually a delight who has been having recent similar problems to those you mentioned. He is also here long hours, and I did consider that, but that hasn't changed recently and the behavior has.

What has changed is that this child is getting considerable less sleep. Instead of getting up around 6:30, he has been getting up at 4:30 every morning. He is also taking shorter naps for some reason (I'm a believer of sleep begets sleep, so that is probably why the shorter naps) and has been going to bed later at night. I am 100% sure this is why the change in behavior.

Does this child get enough sleep? Has she recently stopped napping, etc? I think a lot of times sleep has a lot to do with it. Not much you can do to correct it, but it might be worth looking into.

My own kids know that I often say, "Well, I know you are good kids most of the time and today you are not acting like the good kid I know you are. You must be tired." They know that at our house "naughty"= tired. I'm a firm believer. ::

[mncare]

I hate that word, too, but sometimes it's the only one that fits the bill. Lol!

I have the same problem. I have a 4 yr. old that is usually a delight who has been having recent similar problems to those you mentioned. He is also here long hours, and I did consider that, but that hasn't changed recently and the behavior has.

What has changed is that this child is getting considerable less sleep. Instead of getting up around 6:30, he has been getting up at 4:30 every morning. He is also taking shorter naps for some reason (I'm a believer of sleep begets sleep, so that is probably why the shorter naps) and has been going to bed later at night. I am 100% sure this is why the change in behavior.

Does this child get enough sleep? Has she recently stopped napping, etc? I think a lot of times sleep has a lot to do with it. Not much you can do to correct it, but it might be worth looking into.

My own kids know that I often say, "Well, I know you are good kids most of the time and today you are not acting like the good kid I know you are. You must be tired." They know that at our house "naughty"= tired. I'm a firm believer. ::

No, she doesn't. She is up and down several times at night. She won't stay in her own bed. This has been going on for months and I know her parents are at their wits end. They have asked that I wake her up early from nap, but I have done that for a bit and it hasn't changed her night routines. Also, on the days that she doesn't sleep at nap time, she still doesn't sleep at night. So I just have started letting her sleep the entire naptime (shh!).

I have thought that this may have something to do with her behavior. The lack of sleep is finally catching up with her. I am going to pray hard for patience and knowledge on how to manage this. I am also going to make sure she gets extra snuggle time, so that she knows even when she is making bad choices and getting extra time outs, that I still love and care for her.

I am still open to any and all suggestions. I have been working with kids forever, but there is always something to learn!

[joy]

naughty behavior

I do not believe in time out. It does not work, it is humiliating for the child and creates low self esteem and issues later in the child's life. I would ignore her as much as possible. Don't give the "mistaken behavior" any attention at all. Don't laugh at her, that is insulting. Have you addressed this with her parents? You should see how they deal with her at home so that you can both find an appropriate solution and be consistent.