Very Odd Behavior

[Ariana]

We have a 2yo boy who started with us last September exhibiting some of what you've mentioned. He meandered (and still does but not as much) all day not landing on anything of interest. He did not participate in activities and did not interact with the other children. He whined for everything and did absolutely nothing for himself. Example, if we were painting with paintbrushes he would just sit holding brush, looking at paint and paper. We would have to hold his hand, help him put brush to paint then paint on paper all the while holding his hand. Same with eating etc.,
The issue was that his doting parents and grandparents did absolutely EVERYTHING for him.

We told family to show and then allow him to do things himself to the extent of his ability, encourage him to use his words, and do activities with him ie reading, doing a puzzle etc. to help him focus - all of which we were doing at daycare. About 3 weeks ago he started speaking, participating in some activities, attempting to put on his shoe etc. He interacts with us and not so much the children so we create small group games with the other kids and him to show him how to play and make friends. Some kids need more support than others.

However, I agree with others on here that he should be evaluated. It won't hurt. So try to convince mom to do so and give her information and resources on how to proceed.

Yes I beginning to think that the doting at home is causing all of this. Mom actually works with autistic kids but she didn’t know what an MCHAT was or what SPD was so it is confusing how she even got a job! Mom is NOT going to be receptive to any of this and the trouble I am having is that he is meeting most of his milestones, except for receptive and expressive language in my opinion. I really don’t suspect ASD with him. Sometimes I think he is just spoiled rotten and has no idea how to cope when that environment changes and he is required to use his brain.

[Ariana]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions!

It really helps to bounce things off other people. It is hard to describe behaviour over the internet but it’s all I got!

[Alwaysgreener]

I have a DCB who is 2.5 and he spends the entire day doing basically nothing. Wanders around aimlessly not playing with anything. He also stares at me all.the.time (which is the most annoying part of this whole thing). I have no idea what is going on with this kid. Any advice? I have mostly been ignoring him. Once or twice I asked him to stop staring and go play. When I bring it up to mom he is “perfect at home” and she doesn’t seem to care!

Yep I got one here to. Almost 2.5, I asked him to sit down so I can help him with his snow pants. He sat on them with his back to me. (The pants were laying with the feet next to me) I asked him to turn around and he got up and walked away. After I got his pants on, he got his boots, came back and started to take off his snow pants. The same pants he refused to help take off when we came in.

[Ariana]

Yep I got one here to. Almost 2.5, I asked him to sit down so I can help him with his snow pants. He sat on them with his back to me. (The pants were laying with the feet next to me) I asked him to turn around and he got up and walked away. After I got his pants on, he got his boots, came back and started to take off his snow pants. The same pants he refused to help take off when we came in.

It took me 3 whole months to teach him to put on his pants after diaper changes. He would routinely put two legs in one leg hole. When I would direct him to take his leg out...pointing in the direction I wanted his leg to go and saying “out” he had no idea what I was saying.

[laundrymom]

I suggest playing with him instead of talking to him. Try to become his ally. Like the three yr old. And what milestone assessment are you using? Or is it just the peds checklist that mom reports to you?
I LoVE ages and stages. It’s great for finding gaps and has ideas to fill them to enrich a child’s curriculum.
(I rarely pop in to the board anymore because my program is super busy right now but I’ll try to pop back in more often. I miss you all. )

[Alwaysgreener]

It took me 3 whole months to teach him to put on his pants after diaper changes. He would routinely put two legs in one leg hole. When I would direct him to take his leg out...pointing in the direction I wanted his leg to go and saying “out” he had no idea what I was saying.

Yes that is DCB. DCM wanted to potty train him before his sister came. She brought me pull ups one day, I sent home the potty training checklist for her to answer and bring back. She never mentioned potty training again and sister arrived last week. He still has no clue how to even try to put on his pants.
Yes his first day back he wandered around saying "baby came" repeatedly.


I play kids music on Alexa, if it is still on when DCM picks up she points out the cartoon/TV show theme song and he will smile.

[Ariana]

It is so sad!! I wish I could talk to mom about it. Maybe it is an IQ thing? Maybe mom has a low IQ too so can’t process what I am telling her? I don’t know.

Conversation today at lunch. We will call the bright 3 year old Jake and the 2.5 yr old I am concerned about Henry. They are 5 months apart.

I am winking at Jake. Jake tries to wink back. I explain the difference between winking and blinking, two eyes vs one eye. Jake says “maybe when I am older I can wink, right now it is too hard for me I can only blink with two eyes”.
Henry says “nose, nose” and laughs.

I realize that Jake is a bit advanced but my kids were talking like that at this age too so to me it is normal and right on track for development. Henry on the other hand seems sooooo far behind, it is alarming.

[Alwaysgreener]

It is so sad!! I wish I could talk to mom about it. Maybe it is an IQ thing? Maybe mom has a low IQ too so can’t process what I am telling her? I don’t know.

Conversation today at lunch. We will call the bright 3 year old Jake and the 2.5 yr old I am concerned about Henry. They are 5 months apart.

I am winking at Jake. Jake tries to wink back. I explain the difference between winking and blinking, two eyes vs one eye. Jake says “maybe when I am older I can wink, right now it is too hard for me I can only blink with two eyes”.
Henry says “nose, nose” and laughs.

I realize that Jake is a bit advanced but my kids were talking like that at this age too so to me it is normal and right on track for development. Henry on the other hand seems sooooo far behind, it is alarming.

My almost 2.5 does less than the almost 2 year old. The snow pants story. I had all three boys standing there told them each one at a time to sit down on their snow pants. DS 20 months, DCB 23 months did it correctly (as expected for that age) but DCB 28 months had no clue what to do.

[Ariana]

My almost 2.5 does less than the almost 2 year old. The snow pants story. I had all three boys standing there told them each one at a time to sit down on their snow pants. DS 20 months, DCB 23 months did it correctly (as expected for that age) but DCB 28 months had no clue what to do.

I can so relate to this!! Sometimes when I am telling the 2.5 yr old what to do the 16 month old will come over and do it :: I feel bad laughing but it is crazy!

[Unregistered]

I have a DCB who is 2.5 and he spends the entire day doing basically nothing. Wanders around aimlessly not playing with anything. He also stares at me all.the.time (which is the most annoying part of this whole thing). I have no idea what is going on with this kid. Any advice? I have mostly been ignoring him. Once or twice I asked him to stop staring and go play. When I bring it up to mom he is “perfect at home” and she doesn’t seem to care!

I have one that just turned three that is like this. Spends a large part of his day just sitting. I have tons of toys and he just sits and stares into space or stares at his feet. He's smart and communicates well but he's lazy. He is catered to at home and they do everything for him. He can't dress or undress himself. He has to be reminded at every meal to eat slowly and take small bites. He is in my opinion potty trained but refuses to use the potty (he went for two full weeks staying completely dry here and telling me each time he needed to go). He will tell me "I want the matchbox cars!" then sit and wait for me to get up and get them from the toy box (which I do NOT do). He wants someone to do for him and entertain him constantly and that is not happening here. He also has NO desire to learn anything (colors, ABC's, counting, etc). He is slowly picking some of it up just from every day happenings but if I try to work with him on any of it he will turn his back and walk off. If I try to read to him he tries to turn the pages and talks very loudly over me. If I get down and try to play with him, color with him, do a craft with him he turns his back on me. I worried and worried for months that I was doing something wrong with him but I now realize it's his home environment. It's NOT me. He is being catered to non stop at home and they constantly take him places and do things with him so he has NO idea how to play alone or entertain himself. He also can not follow even simple instructions most of the time. I think it's because they don't give him any at home! They just do for him instead. It's sad but it is what it is. I have just been letting him sit. I have great toys here so if he's bored it's his own fault.

While your situation sounds different in a lot of aspects I thought I would let you know it's not happening at your house!

[Unregistered]

While your situation sounds different in a lot of aspects I thought I would let you know it's not happening at your house!

I meant to say I wanted you to know that it's not ONLY happening at your house! The baby woke up screaming so I had to hurry and finish up and missed a word!

[CeriBear]

I had a 3yo boy who acted similar. He couldn’t see to focus on anything and he would wander aimlessly from center to center sometimes even pushing over other kids creations in the block area or dumping out bins of toys and kicking them around. I found that the best thing to do was help him pick out a toy he liked ( this boy loved legos) and sit down at a table and play with him for a few minutes. Then I would encourage him to play with another child by saying “ Tommy would like to play with legos with you. Why don’t you show Tommy your “rocket ship station.” This usually worked and after a few weeks the wandering and destructive behavior stopped. He still had his focusing issues but the situation was manageable. I’m not sure this solution would work in your case but you can give it a try.