Terminating Care - Notice Period Question

[Ac114]

I don’t think you are admitting fault by refunding the 2 weeks notice. Just wash your hands of her and waive the 2 weeks and end care immediately. I think if you require the 2 weeks payment SHE IS going to make things rougher for you. That’s how these parents operate.

[SnowGirl]

I sent the notice and she's demanding all the tax documents RIGHT NOW. Luckily that's a couple clicks of a mouse for me so I did it. She also asked me to refund this coming week (I didn't notice she had paid for it...oops!) So I venmoed it right back to her.

I'm going to have a lawyer look at my contract and I'm going to learn so much from this. What a crap show. I hate the business side of this job.

[SnowGirl]

I sent the notice and she's demanding all the tax documents RIGHT NOW. Luckily that's a couple clicks of a mouse for me so I did it. She also asked me to refund this coming week (I didn't notice she had paid for it...oops!) So I venmoed it right back to her.

I'm going to have a lawyer look at my contract and I'm going to learn so much from this. What a crap show. I hate the business side of this job.

She also said "pick up his belongings by 11/22?!"

I just didn't even address that.

[boy_mom]

Glad you're done with her! I would worry too much about her sueing, but I would certainly call your licensing office and let them know that you just termed and she is not happy. This just covers your track is she calls to complain!

[Alwaysgreener]

I sent the notice and she's demanding all the tax documents RIGHT NOW. Luckily that's a couple clicks of a mouse for me so I did it. She also asked me to refund this coming week (I didn't notice she had paid for it...oops!) So I venmoed it right back to her.

I'm going to have a lawyer look at my contract and I'm going to learn so much from this. What a crap show. I hate the business side of this job.

Check out Tom Copeland's blogs and youtube conferences. He has helped me with wording for my contracts. You can email him and he will email you back the same day.

[Cat Herder]

IMO, The discipline policy is irrelevant here since it was your child's recurring behavioral issue, not hers. Giving the tax form W-10 and statement of account at termination is pretty standard. The bite was not witnessed or treated so she is not wrong in her feelings even if you feel you are not at fault. I would try to remain humble and not be defensive when she comes to pick-up her child's belonging. Hopefully, it will be a quick handoff. :hug:

[SnowGirl]

IMO, The discipline policy is irrelevant here since it was your child's recurring behavioral issue, not hers. Giving the tax form W-10 and statement of account at termination is pretty standard. The bite was not witnessed or treated so she is not wrong in her feelings even if you feel you are not at fault. I would try to remain humble and not be defensive when she comes to pick-up her child's belonging. Hopefully, it will be a quick handoff. :hug:

I have to have the discipline policy as part of my termination policy in my contract per licensing. That's why I included it.

Mom and dad came to pick up things yesterday, they seemed to be in a much calmer place and I told them I was sorry I couldn't make it work out. I love their son and I will miss their family. The dad was very sincere in that they appreciated all I tried to do with the kids and my love for their child was obvious. The mom was crying and we hugged. So, I think they were just pretty angry and lashing out earlier in the weekend?

Anyway, I said from the start that I was so sorry this happened and I acknowledged that their feelings were valid, and in their shoes I wouldn't feel like this was the right situation for my family. I didn't blame them at all, but I did force the issue of terminating the contract. And in person I told them that when they wrote that they didn't feel safe here and they didn't trust me at my word, I knew that was the end of it. I personally couldn't drop off my baby in an unsafe place for even one more day, and I didn't expect them to either. That's why I termed immediately and refunded the two week notice. The dad was nodding as if in agreement.

So, hopefully that's the end of it. I'm feeling like I was irrational and like I'm a bad provider today. So much guilt and second guessing myself.

I did email licensing and told her what happened. Hopefully it's not going to cause issues for me, since it is basically admitting a child was injured and I didn't see what happened.

[Alwaysgreener]

I have to have the discipline policy as part of my termination policy in my contract per licensing. That's why I included it.

Mom and dad came to pick up things yesterday, they seemed to be in a much calmer place and I told them I was sorry I couldn't make it work out. I love their son and I will miss their family. The dad was very sincere in that they appreciated all I tried to do with the kids and my love for their child was obvious. The mom was crying and we hugged. So, I think they were just pretty angry and lashing out earlier in the weekend?

Anyway, I said from the start that I was so sorry this happened and I acknowledged that their feelings were valid, and in their shoes I wouldn't feel like this was the right situation for my family. I didn't blame them at all, but I did force the issue of terminating the contract. And in person I told them that when they wrote that they didn't feel safe here and they didn't trust me at my word, I knew that was the end of it. I personally couldn't drop off my baby in an unsafe place for even one more day, and I didn't expect them to either. That's why I termed immediately and refunded the two week notice. The dad was nodding as if in agreement.

So, hopefully that's the end of it. I'm feeling like I was irrational and like I'm a bad provider today. So much guilt and second guessing myself.

I did email licensing and told her what happened. Hopefully it's not going to cause issues for me, since it is basically admitting a child was injured and I didn't see what happened.

If it helps, my DS got bit last week and I didn't see it happen. I was tending to another child when the bitter came over and told me "I bit" and I knew he was playing with/near my DS. Sure enough DS shirt was wet. Luckily he only got the shirt.

[Cat Herder]

I did email licensing and told her what happened. Hopefully it's not going to cause issues for me, since it is basically admitting a child was injured and I didn't see what happened.

This is really common in childcare, I doubt they will have any issue with it at all. It is the 22 bites to the face that gets them riled. I don't know if you remember that case?

I did not intend to make you feel bad, just trying to prevent a bad pick-up experience. Seeing things from her side makes it go smoother. I am glad it is over for you and your son.

Many times the victim of biting is the aggressor, we know it, we see it, but that does not soothe the parents' guilt and fears of bullying. Unless they have worked childcare they cannot believe it, it has to be witnessed over time in repetition. It isn't so much they think you are lying as they can't believe it is possible. Sometimes cutting rope is simply the best option. :hug:

[Ariana]

It is next to impossible to see everything all the time in group care. I only have 5 kids and there are times when my back is turned or I have to use the washroom. It is inevitable. Maybe with a biter he would have become more of a shadow but you live and you learn so don’t beat yourself up.

My guess is she lashed out and now regrets it and realizes that despite the bites you offered high quality care and truly loved their child. As a mom that would mean a lot more to me and instead of lashing out I would have tried to help you find a solution.

[MyAngels]

So, hopefully that's the end of it. I'm feeling like I was irrational and like I'm a bad provider today. So much guilt and second guessing myself.

I feel like you handled this well. So many times we, as providers, get so defensive and want to make out the "parents" as the bad guys, but you didn't do that.

I've been providing care for over 25 years now, and I think one thing that has helped me maintain good relationships with families both past and present is that I'm not afraid to put myself in their shoes, and I'm not averse to bending a little from time to time. It took me awhile to learn that though .

[Blackcat31]

I feel like you handled this well. So many times we, as providers, get so defensive and want to make out the "parents" as the bad guys, but you didn't do that.

I've been providing care for over 25 years now, and I think one thing that has helped me maintain good relationships with families both past and present is that I'm not afraid to put myself in their shoes, and I'm not averse to bending a little from time to time. It took me awhile to learn that though .

[Jo123ABC]

This is really common in childcare, I doubt they will have any issue with it at all. It is the 22 bites to the face that gets them riled. I don't know if you remember that case?

I did not intend to make you feel bad, just trying to prevent a bad pick-up experience. Seeing things from her side makes it go smoother. I am glad it is over for you and your son.

Many times the victim of biting is the aggressor, we know it, we see it, but that does not soothe the parents' guilt and fears of bullying. Unless they have worked childcare they cannot believe it, it has to be witnessed over time in repetition. It isn't so much they think you are lying as they can't believe it is possible. Sometimes cutting rope is simply the best option. :hug:

So true! My most recent "biter" is a smaller than average super smart 22 month old dck. She bit the larger than average aggressive 2.5 year old on occasion. He picked on her. Took her toys, pestered her etc. She was little and couldn't do much other than bite and yell at him with her little/not very authoritative voice. It's always harder on the provider when it's our own kid doing the "bad" thing though. :hug:

On a side note, I saw a bite mark on the 2.5 dcb a couple of weeks ago and was upset/confused because she hadn't done it in weeks and I didn't see her do it nor did he cry. After further examination, I realized it wasn't from her. Her mouth is half the size of the mark. I asked him what happened. He blamed her. My husband who had been eating lunch with him right before this heard our conversation and said. "No, he bit himself. I just watched him do it." These kids make me want to pull my hair out sometimes. We are not all seeing super heros. We are humans. Extremely busy, overworked, underpaid and highly judged humans.