Would You Ask The Parent?

[tenderhearts]

I have a 5 yr old dcg who has been with me since she was 8 mo old. She is the one with the odd fears. Well today when she arrived she was whining and just acting out saying she didn't want to stay, dad told her to stop and she'd be fine, he left and she was fine. Well later she said the reason why I didn't want to stay today is because I didn't want to see ________, he is a new dcb who has been here for a couple week and he is 4 yrs old. I was shocked she would say that because he is a really good and nice boy and has done nothing to her or anyone for that matter and she has been playing good with him. So I don't know if she told her dad this or not but I don't want him to think he's a bad child so would you ask him if she's said anything about him and tell him what she said or would you just leave it and not say anything to him? I did tell her that wasn't a very nice thing to say and that would hurt someones feelings and asked her how she would feel if someone said that about her when she hasn't done anything and she said it would hurt her feelings.
I know her dad trusts my judement so I'm not worried and I know he wouldn't be worried but it still bothers me.

[daycare]

I have a 5 yr old dcg who has been with me since she was 8 mo old. She is the one with the odd fears. Well today when she arrived she was whining and just acting out saying she didn't want to stay, dad told her to stop and she'd be fine, he left and she was fine. Well later she said the reason why I didn't want to stay today is because I didn't want to see ________, he is a new dcb who has been here for a couple week and he is 4 yrs old. I was shocked she would say that because he is a really good and nice boy and has done nothing to her or anyone for that matter and she has been playing good with him. So I don't know if she told her dad this or not but I don't want him to think he's a bad child so would you ask him if she's said anything about him and tell him what she said or would you just leave it and not say anything to him? I did tell her that wasn't a very nice thing to say and that would hurt someones feelings and asked her how she would feel if someone said that about her when she hasn't done anything and she said it would hurt her feelings.
I know her dad trusts my judement so I'm not worried and I know he wouldn't be worried but it still bothers me.

I don't think that i would bring it up to the parents quite yet, but would really make it a point to tell DCG how wonderful DCB is and what YOU really like about him... Then ask for her to do the same... more than likely its just a jealous issue.

I had the same thing happen when I had a family bring on their younger child...Older child was in my preschool program solo and then the younger sibling was older enough to start with me... when this took place the older of the two siblings started acting out and would throw fits at drop off. She told me same thing...I don't like DCB and I dont want to play with him....

After telling her how wonderful he was and how much everyone loved her as well as him, she got overit pretty quick...

If it will make you feel better you might just want to say that you feel that the DCG may be a little bit jealous of the newbie and has she mentioned any of it to Mom or dad??

[KEG123]

I wouldn't say anything unless dad brought it up.

[Cat Herder]

IMHO, Since she has been there the majority of her life and you seem to really like this new boy, my bet is on simple jealousy.

I, personally, would make it a point to let her know how much HE likes her and how much HE needs her to be his friend so that HE can feel comfortable there. Make her a part of your TEAM instead of taking sides with him against her jealosy....YKWIM?

It would be no different than if you adopted an older child and were blending him into the family for her...

Few want to admit it but these kids are together with their provider up to 50 hours a week, most of them waking hours, the typical sibling roles do apply...