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I have the perfect solution: get rid of this family.
She (and her kids) sounds disrespectful. Why deal with that?
She (and her kids) sounds disrespectful. Why deal with that?
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Who would have thought an entrance change would make parents want to re evaluate if they want to continue care. Goodness..its an entrance. How do they handle it when stores remodelI actually did this for several reasons, but I had a couple of lingerers that would not take the hint. It made things a million times less stressful. Be aware that no boundaries Mom will just find new ways to intrude, so you'll want to address where people are allowed, what rules they're expected to follow and such. Also make it clear that drop off and pick up times need to be limited to 5 minutes or less and if further communication is required, you can set up a phone call or meeting to address things. I don't know if you're licensed (I'm license exempt since I keep less than 5), but I know the licensed ones use liability as a reason that people's activities on their property are limited. "Licensing is really cracking down on how long people are lingering on the property / non daycare children accessing restricted areas, etc so moving forward...." A simple note or letter noting the changes would be nice, but you have old habits you'll need to break and this is the easiest way to do that. After that, you will have to speak up and remind Mom of the rules though. I really had to learn to grow a backbone.
I handled my change by doing a post on my closed group just for the daycare that I have on Facebook. I had enough and just couldn't anymore with the crap, so I posted it on Saturday for the following Monday. "Starting Monday (3/7), pick ups and drop offs will happen at the side entrance. I listed the "door times" (when the door would be unlocked) and said that drop offs or pick ups would need to happen at the front door outside of those hours with parents keeping it to a minimum due to the disruptions it caused. I didn't want to leave the door unlocked indefinitely and the side room is also my nap room, so it wouldn't always be accessible anyway. The room is adjacent to my daycare room with the kitchen in between, so they come to the doorway, say goodbye and go in to the daycare room. The front door leads right in to my daycare room.
The lingerers were so unhappy about the change! I actually ended up having to call a meeting to address why I made the changes. The other 2 parents didn't feel a need to attend because they completely understood. I apologized for not better explaining my reasoning to them (no, I didn't owe it to them, but I was trying to offer an olive branch) and then made it clear that if the arrangement no longer worked for them, I completely understood and they were welcome to give notice. 1 said she'd "have to talk to DCD about it all". I told her I completely understood (they stayed on for another year and a half until she moved on to Junior Kindergarten). They were both high maintenance, but they were some of my first clients when I had no experience (and no rules), so I tolerated a lot until their children moved on to school. Now, I have policies and it is great! Oh, interesting story, when 1 of the lingerers started, she was supposed to drop off at 7:30 (my first in each day). Slowly that changed and she would come later and hang around forever, so when I set the door times I set it for 8 (when she usually showed up). She said "oh, I need a 7:30 drop off. I'm really getting in trouble at work for showing up late." I said "OK, then I'll open for you at 7:30". Next morning, she shows up at 8 with another crazy excuse about why she's late, so I said "why don't you just text me when you leave your house. I'll be ready by the time you get here." After that, not only did she rarely arrive before 8, but she actually learned that if she missed the door time, she had an audience again with me at the front door, so she would arrive after 9:15!!! I just had to let her know it was time for me to serve breakfast and get her to leave.
I know this is a long reply, but I just wanted to let you know the possible "fun" you are in for. Anticipate as many issues as you can and have rules in place to discourage them. At the meeting, I gave several reasons why I made the change, but the one that seemed to hit home the most was when I mentioned how I was potty training one of the girls once day (using a training potty in my daycare room.... I don't move them to the bathroom until they're using the training potty regularly) and a DCD arrived to pick up his child. The potty training girl decided at that moment decided to streak through the front room, which made DCD incredible uncomfortable. I explained to the Moms that side door drop off/ pick up would virtually eliminate strangers seeing their child half naked. It was a good point that appealed to their selfish nature
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I think you need to be blunt. Obviously she doesn't get it.You need to say or write no more running around.Children and siblings need to come and go quickly.I often met parents in driveway if still daylight at door ready to go otherwise.I never hesitated to call them out when child misbehaved while leaving.Comment
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I just typed up a letter to give to everybody that is very blunt. I'm hoping it works.
Dcm is the type who just doesn't care, I guess? I will have to physically go get her child if he's somewhere he's not supposed to be, because she won't. I hate parenting other peoples kids.Comment
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She was losing her audience and couldn't hold me captive while she rambled on any more. She also liked to butt in with the kids a bit, which I didn't allow. She tried to hint that the change made her suspicious since they couldn't see into the daycare room anymore (except for the huge floor to ceiling windows that face the driveway... Lol) I just said "you've been with me for 3 years. If you don't trust me by now, I'm not sure what to tell you. You need to do what is best for your family. I'm doing what is best for mine."Comment
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As far as I could tell it went good. I could see that both kids walked to the gate, but then ran to go play with the outside toys. She did go grab dcb and bring him to the door. It was a little awkward. I'm sure she knew the letter was for her. Pick up tends to be the worst, so hopefully that goes well. I'm prepared to step in if I have to, though.Comment
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