What Would You Do??

[gkids09]

I have 12 kids in my (and my assistant's) care each day. I also have a few school age kids who come in around 3:30pm.

This past week, we had a little boy (almost 4 yrs old) who had diarrhea on Wednesday. Just once, and no fever, so we thought maybe it was something he ate. We told his mom anyway when she got there, and she didn't act like it was a big deal. Thursday, no diarrhea, but he said his stomach hurt. I told his mom when she got there to get him that he had been complaining of his stomach hurting, but hadn't gotten sick or anything.

Friday, he didn't make it to the bathroom. Sorry for the nasty picture you're about to get in your head, but it was like water, and it was EVERYWHERE. So, I immediately called mom and told her he had had an accident and described what had happened. She said they'd come and pick him up, THAT HE'D BEEN DOING THIS ALL WEEK LONG AT HOME, and that they needed to take him to the doctor. They picked him up right before lunch, and I didn't hear from them again, except when a family member posted on facebook that he had the viral stomach virus!!

Finally, Saturday around lunchtime, I sent a text and asked dcm what the doctor had said, just so she would have to tell me. She said "Oh it's just a stomach virus, but he's really dehydrated and can't come back until the middle of next week." I asked if it was contagious, and she said "Oh yes, very. It's viral." Umm REALLY?!

So I had to send out a mass text to all parents letting them know that we had a child at school all week with the stomach virus, and only 2 episodes of symptoms at school.

I have had FIVE PARENTS tell me their kid got it. One only comes 2 days a week, and got it the night of her last day she comes, one was a school age kid who plays with the dcb a lot, and the others were preschoolers who come every day and play with him.

The policy says they have to be symptom free and fever free for 24 hours before returning to care. Dcm signed it. She obviously told on herself telling me he'd been sick all week at home, but she still sent him EVERY DAY this week. I am so aggravated.

What would you do in this situation?? I am thinking of sending out a letter to all parents and reminding them to keep their kids at home if they act even a little sick, especially with all the stuff going around right now. I'm also wondering about putting a sign up on the door that says something like "Remember, your child must be 24 hours fever free and symptom free before he/she comes back to school!"

Do you think that will work, or do you have other suggestions? TIA.

[Zoe]

That would make me SO mad! Yes a letter of reminder is a good idea. However, you should probably have a talk with that parent, because IMHO, that warrants a warning of termination. She endangered all of the other kids knowingly and in my policy, that is grounds for termination.

[Autismworld]

My biggest pet peeve with parents is when they send their children knownly ill..... next biggest grrrr is when they pump them full of Motrin to mask the fever for part of the day.

I would definitely send out a letter to all of the families... quote your illness policy in it highlighting the 24 hour symptom free part. Explain nicely but firmly that just one family not following the rules can cause a hardship for all of the other families and your family.

Good Luck!!

[marniewon]

You do have a sick policy in your contract, right?

And she did sign something that said he was symptom free for 24 hours before bringing him, correct?

If the answer to the above questions are "yes" then I would terminate her immediately. She knew your policy and outright lied to you. You can't trust her to never do that again, further endangering the rest of your group.

[gkids09]

Thanks so much...I am glad I'm not the only one seriously thinking that it is grounds for termination...However, they paid for 6 months of child care in advance, and it doesn't end until May.

I love the kid, but this has really gotten to me. Not to mention the everyone is supposed to be there by 9:30am and he is almost ALWAYS at least 10:30 every day. It totally ruins the schedule when he comes in so late, and he misses out on SO MUCH. The other kids have almost quit playing with him altogether because he's not there in the mornings and they find their "best friend" for the day before he gets there! It's a really sad situation.

[nannyde]

You can write up a letter restating your policy but it most likely won't do any good. The only way to get parents to be honest about their child's health is to offer to care for them when they are sick and to do it for no additional fees. If you do that you will get the complete truth.

Once you talk to her about what she has done it will just lead to her making sure she doesn't admit his illness in the future. She'll learn that her mistake in this was telling you he had been sick during the week. Next time she will know better and just claim that he has been super fine at home.

It's only words or omission of words that either allows the kid in day care of excludes them. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get the math on it really early on. Parents care about the health of the other kids BEFORE their kid gets sick. They care about your policies being inforced on the OTHER families.

They will agree to the policies up to the point where their kid gets sick. Once their kid is ill your policies don't affect them if they are able to just not say anything at all or say words that lead you to believe the child is not sick at all or has something that can be attributed to a non contagious illness such as teething, allergies, ear infection, something they ate etc.

The only thing you CAN do is to put the policies in place and use them as a foundation for excluding the child for what you see yourself. If you depend on the parents telling you the full truth you must be willing to keep the child ill and at no additional cost.

You will find some parents who will comply to the illness policy but they are pretty hard to find. You can't interview it out or terminate it out. If you term her over it it will just teach her to make sure she doesn't admit to anything in her next care arrangement. She'll learn what words she can say and what words she can't say. When you fill her slot it will be with another parent who will learn quickly that you can't really do much about them bringing their sick kid unless you see the excludable illness yourself.

Some providers allow sick days where the parents don't have to pay for care for X number of days per year to encourage them to keep their sick kids home. This usually ends up with the parents using the sick days for days when they have free day care (grandma, auntie, friend) and can lead to a claim of illness and exposure that doesn't really exist. They still send their kid to day care sick. It just gives them free days off not free days off when the kid is sick.

I wouldn't threaten to term unless you are really able to do it. It won't be a deterent to the other parents. It will just be a lesson in what words they can say and can't say when their kid is sick but they are bringing them despite your policies.

You will hear providers say they have parents that really care about the other kids and them and that they don't have issues with sick kids coming to day care but you won't hear it too much. Most providers who have even a few months under their belt have had a kid come to day care who's parents knowingly brought them sick and either medicated them to mask the illness, gave the provider information that the child had slight symptoms or non communicable illness, or lied by omission and pretended their child was fit for day care when they dropped off.

It's a loosing battle unless you are willing to care for them sick and do it for free. Addressing it to them as a group might make you feel better and it covers you should something really ugly get passed between the kids but it most likely won't stop a parent from doing the same thing to you tomorrow.

[gkids09]

You can write up a letter restating your policy but it most likely won't do any good. The only way to get parents to be honest about their child's health is to offer to care for them when they are sick and to do it for no additional fees. If you do that you will get the complete truth.

Once you talk to her about what she has done it will just lead to her making sure she doesn't admit his illness in the future. She'll learn that her mistake in this was telling you he had been sick during the week. Next time she will know better and just claim that he has been super fine at home.

It's only words or omission of words that either allows the kid in day care of excludes them. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get the math on it really early on. Parents care about the health of the other kids BEFORE their kid gets sick. They care about your policies being inforced on the OTHER families.

They will agree to the policies up to the point where their kid gets sick. Once their kid is ill your policies don't affect them if they are able to just not say anything at all or say words that lead you to believe the child is not sick at all or has something that can be attributed to a non contagious illness such as teething, allergies, ear infection, something they ate etc.

The only thing you CAN do is to put the policies in place and use them as a foundation for excluding the child for what you see yourself. If you depend on the parents telling you the full truth you must be willing to keep the child ill and at no additional cost.

You will find some parents who will comply to the illness policy but they are pretty hard to find. You can't interview it out or terminate it out. If you term her over it it will just teach her to make sure she doesn't admit to anything in her next care arrangement. She'll learn what words she can say and what words she can't say. When you fill her slot it will be with another parent who will learn quickly that you can't really do much about them bringing their sick kid unless you see the excludable illness yourself.

Some providers allow sick days where the parents don't have to pay for care for X number of days per year to encourage them to keep their sick kids home. This usually ends up with the parents using the sick days for days when they have free day care (grandma, auntie, friend) and can lead to a claim of illness and exposure that doesn't really exist. They still send their kid to day care sick. It just gives them free days off not free days off when the kid is sick.

I wouldn't threaten to term unless you are really able to do it. It won't be a deterent to the other parents. It will just be a lesson in what words they can say and can't say when their kid is sick but they are bringing them despite your policies.

You will hear providers say they have parents that really care about the other kids and them and that they don't have issues with sick kids coming to day care but you won't hear it too much. Most providers who have even a few months under their belt have had a kid come to day care who's parents knowingly brought them sick and either medicated them to mask the illness, gave the provider information that the child had slight symptoms or non communicable illness, or lied by omission and pretended their child was fit for day care when they dropped off.

It's a loosing battle unless you are willing to care for them sick and do it for free. Addressing it to them as a group might make you feel better and it covers you should something really ugly get passed between the kids but it most likely won't stop a parent from doing the same thing to you tomorrow.

I agree with all of this...I have discussed it with her, and she still doesn't seem to get it. Of course she's not the only parent who has sent her kid sick, but she's the one who did it last week and made me ill.

The past few weeks, we have had a TON of sickness, and every kid has had something different except this time. They've had RSV, stomach virus, flu, strep, etc etc etc. We have sanitized more toys, washed more hands, and cleaned more than ever. I guess I'm so tired of winter sickness that I am getting more upset than I should.

On the other hand, it does make me mad that they would agree to something they KNOW they don't agree to!! KWIM?? I guess I will have to start calling them from work every time any kid seems to not feel well enough to play/eat/run/talk. Maybe if they get enough calls they'll decide they should just keep the kid home...HA! YEAH RIGHT!

Thanks for your input. I am hoping everyone who was going to get it has gotten it and will be rid of it by tomorrow morning!!

[daycare]

I agree with all of this...I have discussed it with her, and she still doesn't seem to get it. Of course she's not the only parent who has sent her kid sick, but she's the one who did it last week and made me ill.

The past few weeks, we have had a TON of sickness, and every kid has had something different except this time. They've had RSV, stomach virus, flu, strep, etc etc etc. We have sanitized more toys, washed more hands, and cleaned more than ever. I guess I'm so tired of winter sickness that I am getting more upset than I should.

On the other hand, it does make me mad that they would agree to something they KNOW they don't agree to!! KWIM?? I guess I will have to start calling them from work every time any kid seems to not feel well enough to play/eat/run/talk. Maybe if they get enough calls they'll decide they should just keep the kid home...HA! YEAH RIGHT!

Thanks for your input. I am hoping everyone who was going to get it has gotten it and will be rid of it by tomorrow morning!!

I do agree with everything that nannyde (im a big fan of hers) has said. However, I recently had an issue just like this. It was not the stomach flu, but same exact situation where parents sent kid "knowingly" sick to care. All the other kids got really sick as well as my own children.
I was very open to all of my families and I spelled it out for everyone. I sent an email home that said.
I have decided to term ___________family for knowingly bringing their child to care sick and was the cause of the entire daycare becoming ill from it. I would like to remind you that my number one priority in this daycare is the safety and well being of every child. If any family sends their child to care knowingly ill and threatens the heath of the other children and staff, they will also be termed on the spot without refund. I expect for all families to be respectful of everyone in care by following all of the rules and policies stated in our PHB.
Should you have any questions regarding this matter, please feel free to call me after business hours or email me at any time.

Thank you for your support and understanding,


After sending this, I was shocked that famililes actually responded. Good childcare is hard to come by and I know that none of my families want to lose their childs spot here.

I even had a family that has NEVER kept thier child home ill, keep the child home for a change.

I think sending a letter is a good idea, but don't sent it with expectations that all of your families will respond to it.... I guess I was just lucky.

[nannyde]

I agree with all of this...I have discussed it with her, and she still doesn't seem to get it. Of course she's not the only parent who has sent her kid sick, but she's the one who did it last week and made me ill.

The past few weeks, we have had a TON of sickness, and every kid has had something different except this time. They've had RSV, stomach virus, flu, strep, etc etc etc. We have sanitized more toys, washed more hands, and cleaned more than ever. I guess I'm so tired of winter sickness that I am getting more upset than I should.

On the other hand, it does make me mad that they would agree to something they KNOW they don't agree to!! KWIM?? I guess I will have to start calling them from work every time any kid seems to not feel well enough to play/eat/run/talk. Maybe if they get enough calls they'll decide they should just keep the kid home...HA! YEAH RIGHT!


Thanks for your input. I am hoping everyone who was going to get it has gotten it and will be rid of it by tomorrow morning!!

Oh she gets it. If she didn't get it she wouldn't have waited until you had already excluded him to tell you his history. If he would have made it thru the day without vomiting we wouldn't even be having this conversation. She would have just known she completely pulled it off. She told you the truth at the one time it didn't cost her anything.

I'm actually surprised she told you that he couldn't come back for a few days due to the dehydration. Did you require a Dr's note?

[gkids09]

I didn't ask for a dr's note this time, but am thinking about telling her that since 5 other families have gotten sick, I need a note before he can come back.

I DID however ask her for a dr's note when this same kid had staph in his ear. He woke up from nap with it running and I called her and told her she needed to come get him immediately and he couldn't come back until it quit running and she had a dr's note saying he was safe to be back in school. Took 2 weeks, but she got it.

I didn't know it was staph, but I did know it was gross and not something that needed to get all over the toys and other things we have at daycare. gross. She volunteered the info that it was staph once she went to the dr for it since she needed the note to come back!