Nap Time Drama

[Blackcat31]

So...baby slept 25 minutes then started to scream his head off. I mean screamed. I was trying to comfort him and when I came back out babies older brother was yelling "Honey" dancing with his shirt up over his head coaxing my kids to do it.

This was after he earlier was talking about penises.

I called Dad to come and pick them up. He asked why, and I said that if you can't hear it the baby is screaming his head off.

He came in took the baby and asked why the older boy was getting the boot too. I told him. He looks at boy and said "you were dancing during quiet time?"

I said," With his shirt up over his head which is completely inappropriate. This is not happening."

He looks at me and says "Ok, we'll take the night."

Then he leaves and tells the boy that he's ok. It's not a problem.

I'm sure somehow to them something will be my fault. He even texted me and asked when baby ate last. Which I replied an hour and a half ago.

Maybe I overreacted, but I don't think I did.

:hug: you did NOT over react

Parents can not create behavior issues and then expect others to deal with them

[TwinMama]

:hug: you did NOT over react

Parents can not create behavior issues and then expect others to deal with them

Thank you! I started feeling like I jumped the gun.

So I just spoke with Mom on the phone about the day. She admitted that she puts him in bed with them. So they have been lying to me. Which I already knew. She then started to talk like she would take the kids elsewhere. I told her that if she thought they would thrive or do better somewhere else that she should. Then she started backtracking whenI called her bluff. It was then that she was able to communicate with me in a courteous manner.

[TwinMama]

:hug: you did NOT over react

Parents can not create behavior issues and then expect others to deal with them

Yesterday parents took dcb to their backup center for the first time. Baby was not happy all day. They called Mom at work during one of his episodes, and when Dad picked him up the providers and manager of the center told him that he could've been the only baby at the center getting everyone's attention and it wouldn't have mattered. He just wasn't happy.

Mom and Dad showed up here this morning apologizing. Dad said how much they love me and appreciate me. He even confessed that he didn't believe me all the times before when I was talking to him and told him how dcb was. He was paranoid because he knows how difficult they can be so he was worried that I was looking for a way to term them. When I was really just asking for help. He said that when dcb wakes up upset after his 20 minute nap at home that he blows a blow dryer in his face to change his mood. (Which I would never do)

He also apologized for the siblings behavior and said that he understands that he acts inappropriately a lot of the time, and that he expects him to use his manners and be disciplined. He also said that he had privileges at home taken away for the night for acting out.

I had spoken to one of my veteran daycare friends. She had a situation similar to this child. She ended up literally rolling the child in a blanket like a burrito with the legs free so that just the arms are secure. She had to do it for the child until they were more than one years old. I tried it. Total sleep time between the 2 naps was 2 hours and 45 minutes.

He was the most fun he's ever been here. It was awesome! Hopefully that's what he needed.

[Blackcat31]

Yesterday parents took dcb to their backup center for the first time. Baby was not happy all day. They called Mom at work during one of his episodes, and when Dad picked him up the providers and manager of the center told him that he could've been the only baby at the center getting everyone's attention and it wouldn't have mattered. He just wasn't happy.

Mom and Dad showed up here this morning apologizing. Dad said how much they love me and appreciate me. He even confessed that he didn't believe me all the times before when I was talking to him and told him how dcb was. He was paranoid because he knows how difficult they can be so he was worried that I was looking for a way to term them. When I was really just asking for help. He said that when dcb wakes up upset after his 20 minute nap at home that he blows a blow dryer in his face to change his mood. (Which I would never do)

He also apologized for the siblings behavior and said that he understands that he acts inappropriately a lot of the time, and that he expects him to use his manners and be disciplined. He also said that he had privileges at home taken away for the night for acting out.

I had spoken to one of my veteran daycare friends. She had a situation similar to this child. She ended up literally rolling the child in a blanket like a burrito with the legs free so that just the arms are secure. She had to do it for the child until they were more than one years old. I tried it. Total sleep time between the 2 naps was 2 hours and 45 minutes.

He was the most fun he's ever been here. It was awesome! Hopefully that's what he needed.

Some kids are just tough. That's ok.

It's just not okay when parents are blind (truly and intentionally) to it and simply expect you to deal with it.

I am glad this family got a dose of reality and are now seeing how valuable you truly are to them because you are willing to work WITH them. I would not let that point go.

Make sure they understand you will work WITH them but they need to be the driving force and do most the work. You are a supporting player. NOT the director or the lead. Don't let them make you more responsible for fixing him than they are.

Make a plan of action because even though they are seeing the light now, the glow will wear off and more than likely they'll easily slip back into their old ways and start doing easy because they just need to make it until morning when they can drop off to you.

Set up a plan for what you will/won't do and at what point you will call for pick up when it gets to be too much for everyone in care (including you). Make the parents stick to it....if you notice they are slipping, call them out on it.

When these kinds of situations (where parents see the light) and the tough kid actually gets enjoyable it IS rewarding and fun!

Perhaps this little guy needs a weighted blanket at home?
I know we can't do that in child care since we can't have any blankets or swaddling but the parents can try it at home (if used properly) as he may have sensory needs that are stopping him from getting that deep sleep he needs to be happy during the day.

Glad to hear that you are all making progress though!! happyface

[Ariana]

Wow blows a hairdryer in his face??? What an awesome parent :dislike:

[Firefly]

Wow blows a hairdryer in his face??? What an awesome parent :dislike:

That’s what I was thinking! I’ve never heard that one before. I hope this works out for you. I’m glad they are starting to appreciate you.