Attention Seeking

[Ariana]

I have a 3 year old DCG who is very attention seeking. Every time a parent comes to the door to pick up or drop off she incessantly talks asking them questions like “do you like my dress”, “do you like my doll”, “do you like....” etc. It makes it really difficult to have any sort of conversation. No amount of “Ariana is talking right now so please stop interrupting” etc helps!! It is so annoying

I have tried telling her to stay in the playroom during pickup or drop off but she throws a tantrum. Whenever I tell her to go back to the playroom while the parent is there, she throws a tantrum. So it ends up being about her either way. At this point I have just let it go and deal with it but thought maybe you all had some tips for me!

[storybookending]

Can you gate off your playroom? Have the child who’s parents is coming ready so you can just hand them off?

[Ariana]

Can you gate off your playroom? Have the child who’s parents is coming ready so you can just hand them off?

I wish! Both playrooms have gates but you can still easily see/talk/scream at whoever is at the door and the parent can definitely hear a tantrumming 3 yr old!

I really wish I could just send the kid out who is being picked up and not go out at all myself

[Mom2Two]

Would she understand having a reward for good behavior at the other child's pick up? Meaning, if she behaved well, she'd have a reward of some kind afterwards.

[Ariana]

Would she understand having a reward for good behavior at the other child's pick up? Meaning, if she behaved well, she'd have a reward of some kind afterwards.

Hmmm this might work, maybe princesss stickers would work. I can definitely try it!

[knoxmomof2]

Have you tried preparing her before a parent arrives? I don't know your setup, but as they pull up or come in, just say, "remember Susie, I need to talk to Tommy's mommy right now so I need it quiet." I've seen several situations where verbal preparation went a long way, it helps to disconnect that impulse just before it kicks in. If that doesn't work, maybe find something for her to do every time." Hey Susie, can you go and pick up the Legos for me, please?" If neither of those work, establish a point in the room she's not allowed to pass at pick up or drop off because you can't hear Timmy's mommy when she's talking. Remind her just before an arrival and enforce it. The second she starts in, put a finger up and say," Susie, I'm talking to Timmy's mommy. I'll be right there. Please wait." Go back to talking.

I don't know if you use time outs, but I do and after a couple of days of work on this, I would tell her she's going to time out the next time she acts up when other parents are present, or however you want to describe it. There are times when grown ups need to talk and pick up / drop off is hectic enough as it is. I don't tolerate being interrupted repeatedly as a habit like this- especially at the age you are talking about.

[Laugh and Learn]

I have had kids like this in the past. If possible, you could set her up with some type of special table toy during pick up time ( different things than are out during the day) and explain she has to stay there to use it, until it’s time to switch stations , not sure exactly how your room is set up.If we aren’t outside at pick up I did a rotation of different “special” activities at the table to keep the kids busy otherwise that child would be all over the parents. A verbal reminder might help too.

[Firefly]

I used to have a girl in my daycare exactly like that! She could not stop talking and couldn’t stand it if the attention wasn’t on her. If I told her to go play she would start running in circles around my living room and get all the other kids running. I would have to step away from the parent and tell her she had to sit down and wait for me. That usually worked with her. Her little sister was exactly the same way

[Ariana]

Thank you everyone!

I have tried preparing her before parent comes and it does nothing. As soon as the doorbell rings she starts going for the door. The child is very defiant so anything that is not done as an immediate consequence I am not sure it would work. I will try it though. I do special activities as well at the end of the day but this new routine of hers has taken over I have a few ideas to work with!!!

[knoxmomof2]

Thank you everyone!

I have tried preparing her before parent comes and it does nothing. As soon as the doorbell rings she starts going for the door. The child is very defiant so anything that is not done as an immediate consequence I am not sure it would work. I will try it though. I do special activities as well at the end of the day but this new routine of hers has taken over I have a few ideas to work with!!!

Knowing this, as you head for the door, say "Susie, I need it quiet. No touching the gate, please go play." The second she starts heading for the gate, put a finger up and tell her, "no, ma'am. Please go play, or else you'll have to go to time out. I need to talk to Timmy's mommy." Anything after that, either finish up with the parent or excuse yourself, then take her by the hand and put her in time out. The preparing her may not stop it initially, but eventually she'll associate the warning with the consequence and it will be all you need to say to remind her of what you expect. I've been there 😊