What Do You Do With The Mean Child?

[cherryhill]

She is mean and the other kids are scared of her. She used to bite and hit, but she hasn't done that in a few weeks. She will grab a toy from another and just look at them scream, she will block toys and hit if the others try to play with her. Honestly I'm about ready to give up. There is always fighting due to her, the others play well together. She is two years old and I have been watching her for a year she is progressively getting worst.

I have spoken to her mom several times. I am at the point that I just deal with her behavior and tell her mom she was fine today. I am tired of only relaying bad news.

[Unregistered]

Do you have an area where she can play independent of others?

Then you can slowly introduce one child to her at a time teaching her the play skills she is missing.

We do something called "playstations" (not the electronic kind either). I set up a toy/center/theme and select two friends to play in that area. Then I model what we should do with those toys- how to ask a friend to play- what to do if there isnt enough of something- what to do if you get upset- how to clean it up when finished- etc. Takes a lot of time for the kids to really understand the concepts but some kids just don't naturally understand how to play with others. Usually lasts about 5-10 min for the younger ones and 10-20 for older ones. They think they are playing but the whole time I am teaching them play skills. Got this one from a special ed teacher for kids with autism who often have play skill issues.

[countrymom]

then I would put her in a chair and let her watch the other children play. i wouldn't let her off the chair. This way maybe she can see what good behavior is all about. Sometimes I find corners don't work, but put a chair in a room and does it ever work.

[cherryhill]

then I would put her in a chair and let her watch the other children play. i wouldn't let her off the chair. This way maybe she can see what good behavior is all about. Sometimes I find corners don't work, but put a chair in a room and does it ever work.

Thanks for your advice. I do sit her in a chair because time outs are a joke to her she would be there 20 times a day. Once she is out of the chair she repeats the same behavior.

[daycare]

..

not saying that you are handling her the wrong way, but one thing to think about...

You need to think about how you react to her. If you are always pointing out her bad habits, bad things she does and etc always punishing her or telling her NO. the other kids will take note of this. they will think to themself if the provider thinks shes bad then she must be bad...

It starts very young that children learn to label others. They look at the leader in charge to apoint them on how to feel about another.

Try pointing out all of her good things, praise her over and over and tell the kids to do the same. when she does something good start a cheer parade.

I have had a lot of experience working with kids that others don't like or kids that are just crazy out of control....

they are usually out of control becuase this is how they are expected to behave based on others reactions...

and based on the reactions this is how the child will be treated.....

Good luck with this

[elle73]

I hate to admit this but I was having a really hard time with my 2yr old son who would throw toys, hit and scream at the dck's (exact same problems you are having) and timeouts did not work for him. I decided to start giving him postive reinforcement and started praising him for being good, and we're still working on it but his behaviour has improved alot. Now if he's about to say throw a toy I will say to him "good boys don't throw toys, put it down" and he does listen and I will praise him for listening and he's so proud of himself.

I feel for you because I know its an extremely frustrating situation.

Good Luck

[cherryhill]

Thanks ladies

I will start praising her for not being bad. I definetly praise her alot when she does good and shares but sometimes she is so bad all day long that everything becomes negative. I don't like to dread her coming every morning. I hope this helps.

Thanks

[Michael]

Some other "mean child" posts: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=mean+child