Going to Court Question Please Help

[LittleExplorers]

No subpoena = no court appearance

This! If you felt the child was ever in danger, you would have reported it. I would also tell mom that you saw no concerning behaviors from dad and would report that to the judge. As long as dad has a healthy relationship with the kids, it's in their best interest to have 2 parents in their life.

[loischerry]

I would terminate care with mom for sure. Let her know that being drug into their custody battle is not acceptable in your daycare. If you are served the subpoena, you will abide by what the law says you have to do, but the only information you have concerning dad is that he paid on time, showed up on time, and his kids were in good health(if that was the case). Beyond that, any other info is purely speculation or second hand info from the mom.

this is good advice. only testify/write a statement when and if your subpoenaed . some family court issues dont actually happen in a court room but in mediation and you may be sent/served a questionnaire from the court. if you are subpoenaed, dont ignore it ( i dont think anyone would) stick with things like the dad did/didnt do these things then list them off ex: drop off pick up on time, come pick up when child is sick, fill out proper paperwork, bring proper supplies, pay on time. any results that you think important of daily wellness check ( that mental check you do at drop off like notice runny noses, see scrapped knees and marks etc). make it known that you are a required reporter and that your required by your state ( if the laws in your state are there) that you are to remain neutral. only answer questions asked of you. dont expand or explain further or offer any other info other than whats questioned of you. i do think termination of care should also be your next step, either way this situation doesnt sound like it will end well. either the mom will be mad because you kicked her out and that prob will come with a bad review and some type of negative connotation about you to anyone she meets. or she will be mad and upset about the info you provide when subpoenaed.

[happymom]

Definitely replace this family, too!

[knoxmomof2]

I keep 4 and am license exempt as well. I also had this situation a couple of years ago. I was frank with Dad, told him that going to court would require me to close, which would cost *someone* money to replace my missed wages, as well as the fact that I would be inconveniencing my DC families (including his) and that I don't prefer to do that for something that's not even my issue. I added that the only things I would have to say were positive ones since I'd seen no mistreatment on Mom's side and lastly I really didn't like being put in the middle of a personal issue between them when they were both my clients (I also kept Dad's new stepson and Mom's new baby from her new marriage. This all was about their 4 year old son that they had together.) I didn't term because he took my feelings into account and dropped it. I would have termed if he had pushed it.

You have to stay neutral here. Unless you get a subpoena, you don't have to do anything, but I would have a similar conversation as I did ASAP where you let her know how badly this is going to end up for her if she continues to push it. I would not continue care if you are subpoenaed and I would tell her your intentions in advance. I say all of this assuming you have no concern for the child's wellbeing (ie: no signs of abuse or actual neglect). If you do, the authorities should be notified, but you should not be a part of a custody battle. This is business, not personal.

[LostMyMarbles]

I was subponed many years ago to testify. The attorney deposed me over the phone to see if I was actually needed so I did not have to close my daycare. At the time I was only licensed for 6 and did not have a helper. The dad was not happy that I told the truth. It was not flattering for him.

So here is my personal experience. This is about the child. It’s not about me, mom or dad.

I was the only constant thing in this boys life with all the changes he was experiencing. Did I want to terminate due to not wanting to be involved? Not for one minute. We are a huge part of these children’s lives.

I know it is easy to ditch the problem. I always ask myself “if this was my child, what would I want “?

So my advice , BE HONEST NO MATTER WHAT! Oh and tell her you need to be subponed to go.

[Dsquared]

I got a subpoena today to show up in court on Monday. I am beyond upset! I called her lawyer and went off on her. I called the mom as well and told her that she is greatly inconveniencing me but she won’t let up. I even have a new family starting on Monday and now I have to tell them I can’t work. This is just so unfair. I told her lawyer not to subpoena me earlier this week. I spoke to her in the phone and she seemed to understand. Now this😩

[Cat Herder]

Did you send your termination notice today?

[Dsquared]

I’m going to on Friday. But what’s that going to solve? I still have to go to court. I’m going to call the clerk of the court tomorrow and tell them my situation and see if I can get out of it.

[Blackcat31]

I got a subpoena today to show up in court on Monday. I am beyond upset! I called her lawyer and went off on her. I called the mom as well and told her that she is greatly inconveniencing me but she won’t let up. I even have a new family starting on Monday and now I have to tell them I can’t work. This is just so unfair. I told her lawyer not to subpoena me earlier this week. I spoke to her in the phone and she seemed to understand. Now this😩

I’m going to on Friday. But what’s that going to solve? I still have to go to court. I’m going to call the clerk of the court tomorrow and tell them my situation and see if I can get out of it.

I'm sorry. :hug:

Let mom know you plan on sharing all the positives for dad as well. She might be sorry she had her lawyer send a supoena your way.

She strong armed you into being a witness for her and I hope it backfires on her. It speaks volumes about her inability to put anyone's needs/feelings above her own. (I'd make sure to mention that to her attorney as well... )

[Dsquared]

Thank you blackcat. You always have the best advice.

[Mom2Two]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Dad acts paranoid and mom pushes you around.

[sharlan]

I am sorry you are going through this.

[littlefriends]

I’m going to on Friday. But what’s that going to solve? I still have to go to court. I’m going to call the clerk of the court tomorrow and tell them my situation and see if I can get out of it.

It won’t solve your situation in having to go to court but it will at least solve your problem of having to see her or him in your house ever again. That would make me feel at least a little better. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!!!! :hug:

[Rockgirl]

It won’t solve your situation in having to go to court but it will at least solve your problem of having to see her or him in your house ever again. That would make me feel at least a little better. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!!!! :hug:

Yes, this. I’d have trouble letting someone into my home each day who had such little regard for your feelings on the matter. Not to mention the fact that you have to close on short notice, with a new family starting. Dcm knows the position she is putting you in, and just doesn’t care.

[Blackcat31]

I got a subpoena today to show up in court on Monday. I am beyond upset! I called her lawyer and went off on her. I called the mom as well and told her that she is greatly inconveniencing me but she won’t let up. I even have a new family starting on Monday and now I have to tell them I can’t work. This is just so unfair. I told her lawyer not to subpoena me earlier this week. I spoke to her in the phone and she seemed to understand. Now this��

What is the subpoena asking you to supply?

Your physical presence or actual documents?

You can have DCM direct her attorney to file a motion squashing the subpoena if there is nothing (other than mom's idea that you will color her as a perfect parent) requested in the subpoena that is truly needed.

If you let DCM know you will be speaking on BOTH parents behalf and you will NOT give "opinions" or character witness statements that are supportive of her due to her actions (having her attorney subpoena you) and that you may ultimately have to file restitution or a civil case against her to recoup your lost wages etc for having to close child care or hire a sub to appear in court.

Her attorney can file a motion and squash the subpoena so that your presence is not required. If they (DCM and her attorney) feel you have documentation that supports her case they can ask for copies but your physical presence is not necessary.