When Do You Know....?

[knoxmomof2]

So, I've seen it mentioned how parents will say that kiddo speaks paragraphs at home but we hear little to nothing. How do you all know when it's a case of a kid just not talking as much at daycare and when Mom and Dad are "embellishing"? Also, I get why they would (my own son had speech delays at age 2 and I had a hard time accepting it), but do they not realize that they're lying when they say their child said something that is above their ability level? Help me understand the mindset behind this.... if there is any way to understand it ..

I have a great set of DCPs, very little issues but it seems to me that DCB isn't on par with speech/ language as well as that he seems to have an awful lot of "quirks" (they once mentioned that clipping his nails is like clipping the cat's nails and it takes 2 of them to do it!?!), but then I'll hear supposed statements and ideas that he made at home that are just outrageous to what I see here. Explain, please, oh givers of daycare light!!

[nannyde]

I always ask them to video tape it so you can see it. Tell them to hide the phone so the kid can't see it and then engage them in a conversation so you can see it.

I have had one kid who didn't talk at all at my house and when the mom arrived she was chatty. She was the youngest of a huge sibling group. She was the only one who was mute at my house but was fine at home.

It does happen but I've only seen it once in over 30 years of caring for kids so odds are they are lying.

Just ask them to tape it on their phones and send it to you or show it to you. Once you see he can talk in paragraphs the worries will be over. If they make excuses of why he won't do it then you will know they aren't telling the truth. The first reason is the kid won't talk when the cameras on him so get that out of the way first by telling them to set the phone or camera up on record out of view of the child before they start talking with the child .

[Jupadia]

I did have one like this, but I would hear him talking the moment dad came in. He would say words but not often. He was quite till he left for jr kindergarden this year.
I love the idea of the video, if u see this again.
On a note this kid is still very quite almost mute with those he dose not know. I was actually told by the granny who dose pick ups for another family that she saw the boy at the March break camp that was last week, and the camp counselor was surprised when she saw this boy talking to her. The grand mother let the counselor know how she knows him, but it surprised those running the camp.

[Cat Herder]

"Help me understand the mindset behind this"

Fear, denial, projection and rationalization.

Acceptance takes a while.

[Ariana]

My explanation is that parents hear things that aren’t really there and when they tell their Drs the kid is saying 20 words the Drs are not concerned. They don’t take your opinion under advisement at all.

[Snowmom]

How/when do you know a parent is lying/embellishing?
I don't really think you can ever know for certain. You just move on with your involvement with the child and their progression at daycare.
IMHO, we (providers) can/should only mention what we see at daycare and it's up to the parents to choose to do something (or not) with that information. Unless it's a matter of neglect or child abuse, it's just their choice.

[Blackcat31]

How/when do you know a parent is lying/embellishing?
I don't really think you can ever know for certain. You just move on with your involvement with the child and their progression at daycare.
IMHO, we (providers) can/should only mention what we see at daycare and it's up to the parents to choose to do something (or not) with that information. Unless it's a matter of neglect or child abuse, it's just their choice.

This is how I feel as well.

I think it goes both ways. We see different kids in care than the parents do at home.

I have two right now. A boy and a girl. Both around the same age and the younger sibling. Neither says anything here other than a word or two and a bunch of what I hear as jibberish but according to both parents, they talk at home alot. I hear it during pick up so I know the parent isn't outright lying or embellishing.

The kids are simply in a different environment here than at home and apparently they both feel different in care than they do at home. I think it's just their personalities and their perceptions of expectations in the different environments.

On a related but slightly different note, I have a new 2 yr old that talks great for me but does nothing but scream their head off at home for the parents. They do not believe the child speaks at all for me. I had to video it on my phone just so parent could hear it.