For Those Mom's Who Started Their Daycare To Be Home With Their Own Children...

[Angelwings36]

I have been running my daycare for nearly 5 years now. My son is 6 years old and my main reason for opening a daycare was to be able to stay home with him and raise him myself. While I have been the only person that has raised him it surely did not turn out the way I was hoping for. When I opened my doors I was a single mom so income was a factor as well. I do run a full daycare. In Saskatchewan, Canada that means 2 children under 30 months, 3 children 31 months - school age and 3 before and after school children.

I have had my son complain to me that I don't spend enough time with him. Strange hey...I'm home 24 hours a day and don't have enough time for my own son. But in some aspects it is true. I can not focus all my time and energy on him when I have other children that need my time as well.

I feel he is getting the short end of the stick. It's even worse now that he is older and gone at school all day long. When he gets home he hangs out upstairs...daycare is down, so I hardly see him again until supper time. My son likes his space after school and doesn't always want to be around the little kids and be a part of the daycare rules set when he comes down. He has his own collection of toys upstairs, game systems, art supplies, etc...and would rather be doing these things on his own.

So then I still have all evening for him right? WRONG! It just doesn't seem to work out that way. I run a 10.5 hour day and when I get off work I am usually completely exhausted. Our evening meal time is not the typical family meal time at the table. Most nights we are eating on the go while running errands or ordering in or fending for ourselves (either myself or my husband prepares my son's meals) but it's just not the same as sitting down as a family and having that one on one time.

If we are not out running errands we have friends stop by or family members that need something. Showers that need to be taken, cleaning that needs taken care of, phone calls, emails to answer, letters to write etc... It's just completely rediculous!

I love my daycare and really would not want to do anything but what I do, however, I just wish I could be there for my son more. I miss all of his school events because of the daycare too.

We do have one night a week were we will all cuddle up to a family movie but this just doesn't come often enough.

Do any other's feel this way?

[DCMomOf3]

Yes I do, every day. the first half of school year it was hardest for my boys, they every week asked for me to come have lunch like the other moms (arrow straight to the heart). They too, like your son, don't really like being in the daycare space but lose a lot of my attention if they stay in family space. In the end I have decided to back to school so I really will be there for them and only them next year. As a single mom though, I don't know how I would handle it.

[ninosqueridos]

I only have one in school so far, and I've missed some special lunches and things that I used to be able to go to before the daycare. Luckily, I have my own parents and my husband who can go in my place for those things....it's not Mom, but he seems okay about it.

[Angelwings36]

I only have one in school so far, and I've missed some special lunches and things that I used to be able to go to before the daycare. Luckily, I have my own parents and my husband who can go in my place for those things....it's not Mom, but he seems okay about it.

I am not so lucky. My husband works a 8-5 job and my mother who lives in the city as well could care less to be involved in 'kid' stuff so to speak so my poor boy has no one to support him with these events. I always feels so bad when he says, "mommy we are having a party tomorrow and all the parents are coming, can you come or do you have to watch the kids?" geeze nothing like feeling like a big pile of crap! It's just so unfortunate I really wish things didn't have to be this way but I don't see any way around it.

[melskids]

i think everyone who does home daycare feels this way.

its a catch 22.

if i had to work full time, like some of the mom's who come here, it would be the same. they pick up their kids at 6. we live in the sticks, so they're not getting home until 6:30. you know by the time they get in the door and get dinner ready, its at least 7 or even 7:30. they still have to do homework, baths, cleanup, catch up on other tasks they cant do during the day, like laundry and paying bills, and then its off to bed. forget it if they have to add ball or piano practice into the mix. then its up at the crack of dawn to do this rushed schedule all over again. most are out the door by 6:30, to get their kids here and to get to work by 7:30/8.

i think i have chosen the lesser of two evils. both my boys are in school now. they dont really like that i do daycare, but i dont think they'd like it if i worked full time either.

i tell them all the time, we're a family, and we all have to make sacrifices. so they come home to a house full of kids. they could be coming home to no one but a TV.

i do try to attend all of their functions, and take turns doing this w/ my hubby. depending on what it is, sometimes the DC kids tag along. sometimes we miss some. sometimes i'd miss some if i worked too. i have DC parents who never get to go to ANY of the school functions.

weekdays are hectic around here, so i always make sure weekends are strictly for family. even if its playing the wii, or going to the library, or baking cookies. no work, no chores, just family.

its not about the quantity of time, but the quality.

[boysx5]

I feel that way in the summer but if I worked outside the home I wouldn't be here to do all the things I do do for them like baking them cookies or hearing their stories when they get home one of the greatest memory I have has a child is my mother always being home when I got off the bus after school with a treat and her ear to hear how my day went.

[Kaddidle Care]

This is why I moved on to a center for work. I don't get paid much but it helps out and they are very good about working around the hours that I can work. And most importantly, I am home when my son gets home from school.

You are self employed and while being your own boss is great, the hours that come with it can be vast.

It's time to decide what is the most important in your life right now. Money isn't everything and as you very well know, children don't stay young forever.

[BentleysBands]

Yes I think we all feel like that. I have 4 kids of my own. What we do is use our weekends wisely.we also do family nights. Something g I have always done is to do something special with each kid once a week. Just me and them.

[E Daycare]

Awww I hope it doesnt get this way for me! My DS is only 19 mo so I dont have any issue really and I just watch 2 other children (Im not licensend, dont want to be, prefer to be a Class B home and really only watch other kids part time to have some extra spending money). I plan on going to back to part-time work work once DS goes to school full time so I can still be there to get him off the bus and go to all his special things. All our family lives in another state so its just Dh, me and my DS and its been just us (El hub and I) for 9 yrs before DS came so weve made it work then and try and do it now.

So far things are good here. I get to see DS always (again, hes young and not in school), and hardly ever feel rushed or behind. I get annoyed with having to deal with dcp and what goes on as its my business Im trying to run but when I do get annoyed and frustrated I remember that A) I get to see my son always and B) these people pay for my car.

[countrymom]

I have 4 kids, trying spreading yourself among them. My kids don't complain about that, because everything is on the main floor (except the bedrooms) I make it to as many acitiviites as I can and I take the dck's with me (my kids like it because its their own cheering section) I think its different when you have 1 child compared to 4. My kids love having people here to play with (even thou my odd is 13) something is always going on. I do make alot of cookies for my kids when they come home, I always talk to them when they come home. Maybe get your ds to come down with you and sit with you and talk together, so even thou you are still their watching the kids you can have a convo.

[Unregistered]

our afterschool conversations usually go like this.

Mom "How was school?"
Son "Good."
Mom "What did you do today?"
Son "Nothing."
hahahaha
Mom "Oook?...What did you do in Gym class today?" (Son loves Gym)
Son "I can't remember."
Mom "Do you need anything for tomorrow?"
Son "I don't think so."

Feeling really informed at this point

NEXT MORNING...

Son "Mom I need $5.00 for my sub order, $2.00 for the school dance at lunch and $1.00 for telemiracle."

this is a typical week!

[Angelwings36]

Oops forgot to log in before posting the above.

[jen]

Yep, that is pretty much how it goes. When my dd gets home from school, I am usually in the process of getting kids up from nap, changing diapers and getting snack. I have to remind her that I am working because I don't have time to stop and chat with her about her day. My son who is 11 wanted to show me something on the computer that he had done for school; I had to tell him to wait until after daycare was over.

My oldest HATES daycare. He hates being woken up by kids screaming on non-school days, hates that our house is filled with baby stuff, hates that our home is filled with other peoples kids 11 hours a day.

[kitkat]

our afterschool conversations usually go like this.

Mom "How was school?"
Son "Good."
Mom "What did you do today?"
Son "Nothing."
hahahaha
Mom "Oook?...What did you do in Gym class today?" (Son loves Gym)
Son "I can't remember."
Mom "Do you need anything for tomorrow?"
Son "I don't think so."

Feeling really informed at this point

NEXT MORNING...

Son "Mom I need $5.00 for my sub order, $2.00 for the school dance at lunch and $1.00 for telemiracle."

this is a typical week!

Angelwings...I thought you were having a conversation with my DS! We make him tell us 5 things that happened at school that day. We try to make him come up with at least 2 without us giving him any prompts (what was your favorite/least favorite, lunch, recess, special classes, etc). Then out of the blue he'll tell us something that happened like a month ago! My favorite is when he gets the lovely 6yr old DUH-how-could-you-ask-such-a-stupid-question-attitude. I hate to think what the teens years wills be like

[Angelwings36]

Angelwings...I thought you were having a conversation with my DS! We make him tell us 5 things that happened at school that day. We try to make him come up with at least 2 without us giving him any prompts (what was your favorite/least favorite, lunch, recess, special classes, etc). Then out of the blue he'll tell us something that happened like a month ago! My favorite is when he gets the lovely 6yr old DUH-how-could-you-ask-such-a-stupid-question-attitude. I hate to think what the teens years wills be like

omg (DUH-how-could-you-ask-such-a-stupid-question-attitude) yep that would be my son too. It seems the second he started school he instantly knew more than me . I am not looking forward to the teenaged years, can I just keep him the way he is now?