DCG prefers Mommy to Daddy

[Zoe]

My 2.5 yo dcg is one who obviously runs the show at home. She is just fine here now that she's learned that I am NOT a pushover and will actually give consequences.

So right now we have a "changing of the guard" situation, as nannyde puts it. It's not too bad when dcm picks them up, but when dcd picks them up, heaven help me! The girl is so upset that mom isn't there that she throws a fit and says things like, "I don't want YOU!" or "Go away Daddy!"

Yesterday this happened in front of DH and later he told me that I should really do something about this because if it happened to him, he'd be heartbroken. I don't really blame him.

Should I ask dcm (who drops off every morning) who is picking up so I can prepare the girl? Should I send dcd outside and have a "do-over" with the girl so she can behave? I HATE how she is once her parents come, but I don't think it's bad enough to start the "bye bye outside" program!

Suggestions?

[Zoe]

Anyone? :confused:

[countrymom]

its a phase, I usually warn the kids who is coming to pick them up, so I prepare them. I've had it happen here lots of times.

[DCMomOf3]

I would try to find out who is picking up each day to prepare the kids. I have it happen from time to time, it's perfectly normal at this age. i wouldn't worry too much.

[kitkat]

I agree, I'd find out who is picking up and remind DCG of who is picking up and how she should behave. I don't think having a do over would help at this age (especially if she's throwing a fit), but being firm about behavior will help. Do you have her ready before pick up? I'd get her as ready as possible to make it a quick transition and if dcd isn't stepping up to control her behavior, then you should.

I also agree that it is a phase (preferring one parent over the other). DD is almost 2.5 and is going through a similar phase. Sure it hurts when she is crying and only wants DH, but I know it's a phase. Next month she might only want me.

[Zoe]

Do you have her ready before pick up? I'd get her as ready as possible to make it a quick transition and if dcd isn't stepping up to control her behavior, then you should.

No I don't have her ready. Their contracted time to pick up is 5pm, however I believe they just wrote that down to allow for extenuating circumstances. They pick up anytime between 3:30 and 4:45. It doesn't really affect my day/schedule or inconvenience me with the inconsistent time, just the fact of who's picking up. I'll start preparing her for her behavior, for sure!

[cillybean83]

this doesn't help you, but as a mother, i would tear my kids butt up for acting like that "I don't want YOU" oh heck no...

[Zoe]

this doesn't help you, but as a mother, i would tear my kids butt up for acting like that "I don't want YOU" oh heck no...

I'm right there with ya! But I'm a strict mommy. I don't tolerate attitude in my home and just get bewildered with how parents allow their children to speak to them in such a manner! If my daughter said some of the things I've heard other kids say to their parents......she would be in her room with NO privileges the rest of the day! I respect my own parents and couldn't imagine being rude to them, even when I was a kid it never occurred to me to be that way, so I'm trying to instill this in my children.