Interview? and Please DO Bring Child

[Snowmom]

I am sorry but I don't know what is the red flag, can anyone please tell me?

What IS a red flag or what are the indicators?

Just to clarify: a "red flag" is a warning signal. Something someone does or says to indicate "trouble ahead".

In this instance, the red flags would be that the mom wasn't satisfied with the educational activities offered in the BABY'S first daycare. Educational activities for an infant or young toddler should be exploring their world, not learning ABC's. No matter how "gifted" the child is (and using that term without an actual assessment can spell trouble as well). If the child is truly gifted and the mom thinks she needs more educational activities, then in home daycare is not the source she needs. In home daycare is great for the social development a child needs and that is important too... but this mom is pushing academics!

Second red flag: multiple daycares for a young child. So many reasons this can be trouble.

The third red flag is wanting to interview without the child. That tells me they want to hide something. Likely behavioral. It's a waste of my time if I can't observe the child to make my decision on if it's a good fit for both parties. And because she doesn't value my time by wanting two interviews, she likely won't value any of my time in the future as well.

[Josiegirl]

- the biggest red flag for me, though, is that she already checked her dc out, but chose not to go with it. In my opinion, if my daycare wasn't good enough the first time around, it's best not to entertain an interview when mom has lost her other options. It would make me question what has changed for her to now consider my daycare. If I haven't changed anything on my end, that means her situation has changed and it's generally not for a good reason. In this case, if Mom is telling the truth, the daycare she is seeking will offer high levels of academia, and a discipline style that may not be suitable for group care. I'm sure there will be other things she requires as well, but for me, those two issues would be enough to pass, as they go against my childcare philosophy. Most likely, their current provider is not holding a grudge against her daughter, but is frustrated with Mom's reaction to her daily reports of misbehavior. I would guess that mom makes excuses for why her daughter has poor behavior, versus working with the provider and her daughter to encourage better choices and enforce consequences when needed. When parents do this, it can instantly leave a bad taste in a provider's mouth when it comes to that child. The grudge is not with the child. It's with the parent who refuses to believe their child can do wrong. This is simply my experience, and maybe this mom is awesome and super great. If she brings her child to the interview and it all goes well, it could be a great working relationship. Past experience tells me otherwise, but there's only one way to find out.::

What was said in this whole paragraph is how I felt reading the OP. I never have taken a dcf that refused to enroll the 1st time around, or if they quit and then beg to come back. No, sorry, you had your chance and I wasn't good enough before.

[Mom2Two]

To borrow a phrase I heard recently, that mom has 'more red flags than a communist gift shop.'

You guys are cracking me up with your responses.

And ITA with all of them. You will NEVER be good enough for this mom. She has unrealistic expectations for everyone...including her own daughter, and I feel badly for her daughter. It sounds like her daughter is some kind of trophy child.

1. That she didn't choose you 2.5 years ago.
2. That "learning activities" were a concern 2.5 years ago (i.e. for such a young child).
3. That she thinks the provider holds grudges for misbehavior the next day. Coz, like as providers, we get SO LITTLE misbehavior on a daily basis that we are actually put out by it. ::
4. That she finds fault so much about trivial issues
5. That she feels so free to keep shopping around. If you take her, you know that she won't stay long. Do you really want to invest your time/energy in someone who is not likely to stick it out?
6. Just overall crazy vibes coming glaring through.

[knoxmomof2]

😂😂😂 This is great!

[knoxmomof2]

Another vote for "red flags". My big ones are : she already passed on you once and how many times they've changed care already.

That being said, the biggest red flag is : she's bashing the current provider. There is a tasteful way to say something isn't a good fit or there's a need they have that her current provider doesn't provide but to just complain, complain, complain doesn't sit well with me. That's like bashing your current employer to a potential new employer. I don't like it because I wonder how long it will be before she's doing the same to me, plus people like that have no sense of decency and are generally high drama. Not who you want to work with!!

[WBee]

Follow up! Sorry so late...

So I emailed Mom back and said I didn't think it would be a good fit. Guess what? She emailed me back stating I was "judging her and/or her child" and she "is glad because it would not have been a good fit seeing as how I am judging them before even meeting them." LOL Yup. Ummm, we did meet 2.5 years ago and now I'm already on her poop list and she never even walked through my door! Hahaha.... Thank you for not wanting to bring your child in the first place. You just saved my reputation DCM! happyface

[Cat Herder]

How dare you judge me judging you!

::::::

Clearly, you made the right decision. :hug:

[WBee]

How dare you judge me judging you!

::::::

Clearly, you made the right decision. :hug:

Yes! LOL :::happyface

[Pestle]

GAD, WBee, you didn't want them even without MEETING the amazing child she didn't want you to MEET. A child so amazing, it would have changed your LIFE if you'd had the privilege of caring for them. You are so JUDGY. And OFFENSIVE. Just like, for some reason, 80% of the people this COMPLETELY REASONABLE and EXCELLENT PARENT interacts with.

(I'm gonna go check the Sanctimommy Facebook page now to detox in the comments.)

[Cat Herder]

:: I had not heard of Sanctimommy, Pestle, and now I am in tears laughing. "My daughter, Epsom Salt (not vaccinated), wants to make her home among the wild squirrels in our backyard and I’m looking for recommendations of feeders large enough to accommodate a 1 year old girl. Her favorite color is rabies red. Please don’t turn this post into a debate, REBECCA."

Oh, I have a feeling this is going to take up a lot of my free time this week. ::

[Mom2Two]

So I emailed Mom back and said I didn't think it would be a good fit. Guess what? She emailed me back stating I was "judging her and/or her child" and she "is glad because it would not have been a good fit seeing as how I am judging them before even meeting them." LOL Yup. Ummm, we did meet 2.5 years ago and now I'm already on her poop list and she never even walked through my door! Hahaha.... Thank you for not wanting to bring your child in the first place. You just saved my reputation DCM! happyface

Wow, narrow escape on this one.

[DaveA]

OYE! Did you ever make the right decision not enrolling. happyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyface

[knoxmomof2]

So I emailed Mom back and said I didn't think it would be a good fit. Guess what? She emailed me back stating I was "judging her and/or her child" and she "is glad because it would not have been a good fit seeing as how I am judging them before even meeting them." LOL Yup. Ummm, we did meet 2.5 years ago and now I'm already on her poop list and she never even walked through my door! Hahaha.... Thank you for not wanting to bring your child in the first place. You just saved my reputation DCM! happyface

And there you have it... The reinforcement you need to feel good about your decision and remember this for next time! Lol.... I used to be so quick to disregard my gut feeling and fill a spot. It's taken me a while, but I think I've learned my lesson... Haha