This is a New One

[Ac114]

DCM texts me this morning and asks me to watch her girls because grandpa died last night and they have a funeral to go too. Dad refuses to pick them up (petty divorce stuff) and she has no one else to help because her kids are bad as hell.

My DH says I should because her grandpa died and that it’s rude to decline considering the circumstances but it sure as hell isnt rude that she asks me to watch her kids on a Sunday the day before Christmas Eve.

[redmaple]

I've done it on very rare occasions, but for awesome families, where it would not impact my family.

Do you ever provide care outside of business hours?

[redmaple]

Also, if he passed away last night, would the funeral really be today?

[Homebody]

They are having his funeral the day after he died? In my own experience funerals are usually a few days after. I would be a little suspicious. If this is true though, I would respond with something like "Sorry for your loss, but I am not available to watch your children today." I would be a little angry if someone asked me to watch their kids outside of daycare hours no matter the reason. It's the parents responsibility to have other care available. Don't be guilt tripped into it.

[Ac114]

Also, if he passed away last night, would the funeral really be today?

Correction: it’s the showing service that they are having today. He’s been in hospice this last week and passed away around 5pm yesterday so I’m not sure if the funeral home has been on stand by knowing that he was going to pass soon. Since it’s so close to Christmas I don’t know if they expedite these things or if a funeral home closes on Christmas Eve/day like a traditional business would.

I wouldn’t care as much if the children were good but they are by far The most challenging kids I have in my care and the mother doesn’t believe in discipline, only positive reinforcement 🤷🏼*♀️🤦🏼*♀️

And my mother is coming over today to help me wrap presenta and my sister is coming in the evening to do Christmas with my kids but it’s my husband that I’m also annoyed at for making me feel guilty about not wanting to do it. She doesn’t want to take her kids because they are bad so let’s incovienance someone else.

[Chicupfront]

I would definitely say No. You already have Christmas plans. Maybe, she will be forced to take them with her and discipline them for their bad behavior. 🤷*♀️

[storybookending]

I would honestly doubt mom was even being truthful about the viewing service if he died last night at 5PM. I find it hard to believe that the funeral home worked through the night and finished an entire embalming process for a next day viewing 2 days before Christmas. I could be wrong but it sounds far fetched.

[Pestle]

If they're Jewish, the body is often interred within 24 hours. In this situation, I don't think you let them make it your job to play detective. You should ask yourself, "Do I want to be on call for family emergencies?" Because if you say yes to this one, it makes it harder to say now from now on.

I would say, "I'm sorry; I don't provide care outside of my contracted hours."

Is it a liability issue/problem with licensing, also, if you have children in your care outside of the times you have on file?

[lovemykidstoo]

I wouldn't care if her information was true or accurate or not. The answer would be no.

[Josiegirl]

It sounds like OP is okay with saying no; it's her dh who's imposing the guilt trip on her. I wouldn't let dh call the shots unless he works with you in the business and if that's the case, HE can watch the kiddos.
As someone else mentioned, I'd do it, in a heartbeat, if it's a dcf I like. Kids AND parents!

[rosieteddy]

I would have said no.Not your problem you have your own family to care for.

[Ac114]

It sounds like OP is okay with saying no; it's her dh who's imposing the guilt trip on her. I wouldn't let dh call the shots unless he works with you in the business and if that's the case, HE can watch the kiddos.
As someone else mentioned, I'd do it, in a heartbeat, if it's a dcf I like. Kids AND parents!

Ding ding ding! I’m alright with saying no, a little annoyed that she even asked but it’s the guilt trip from my husband. He does help out during business hours but not so much if it’s something like this. He was just saying because it’s so close to Christmas and her grandfather died that we should be kind to her. I get what he was saying so I went ahead and watched them. I had them for a little over and hr and they weren’t too bad.

It’s my lesson learned for venting to him or asking him for advice when I know what he’s probably going to say is opposite of what I want to do.

[lovemykidstoo]

Ding ding ding! I’m alright with saying no, a little annoyed that she even asked but it’s the guilt trip from my husband. He does help out during business hours but not so much if it’s something like this. He was just saying because it’s so close to Christmas and her grandfather died that we should be kind to her. I get what he was saying so I went ahead and watched them. I had them for a little over and hr and they weren’t too bad.

It’s my lesson learned for venting to him or asking him for advice when I know what he’s probably going to say is opposite of what I want to do.

Well bless your heart for doing it. That's your Christmas good deed! You are a kind person.

[BumbleBee]

There's a handful of families I'd do this for, only because I know they would have exhausted all other options before asking me. There's also families I'd have no problem saying no to.

Frankly if he was on hospice this wasn't a surprise and she could've made plans ahead of time with people to be on standby to watch the kids in the event she needed care outside of daycare hours.

[Josiegirl]

That was really kind of you!!