Please Some Advice On A Wild Crew...

[Hunni Bee]

I have 14 3/4 year-olds (center). Ive got six girls and eight boys. One of my boys is very mild-mannered and soft-spoken, and another is basically a mellow little guy, prone to outbursts of different things (funny songs, monster voices, dancing, etc. :.

The other six are hellbent on...anarchy, it seems. They play in a pack and their games are always gun- and violence-themed. They fight each other and other kids at random. They throw toys and chairs, swear, run and scream in the building. If we are having Meeting or doing a structured activity, they disrupt to no end. Our center used to be a very large house...so the layout isnt great...our classrooms are small, we have three. Different rooms for different centers...the problem is that they all lead into another, creating a "loop". You can imagine what goes on when they decide to run from one room to another.

We've had conferences with all their parents, they've been suspended once. My director removes them from the room so we can complete an activity or read a story in peace for once...but Im sick of giving so much attention to discipline so much of the time. Many of my creative ideas for the class go by the wayside and field trips are out of the question. My other children dont get as much of me as they should...Im starting to get discouraged.

Being a center who serve children with public assistance vouchers, it would be impossible to term even the worst three of them...so Im stuck.

Any ideas?

[momatheart]

I work in a center and we tell them no gun play at all. No wrestling or super hero play. They throw any toys I remove them from that center and they can not go back. No second chances. Let me tell you this is not an issue in my room.

Maybe focus on ONE bad behavior like throwing chairs or throwing anything. Tell them it is NOT allowed and if they do it you will put them at the table with a toy of your choice. Boys really are mortified when getting a doll to play with.

Then work on the next behavior. It will not be fixed over night but will get better in a few weeks. With consistancy and all staff on board with this, this can get better.

I have some boys in my class that are wild. Do these kids watch all star wrestling by chance? Or play violent video games? They tend to act them out at this age.

[DCMomOf3]

is there any way to separate them so they aren't always doing things together? Mom at heart has some decent suggestions.

I am sorry that they are dominating the center like this.

Welcome and I hope you get more good ideas.

[momatheart]

Also I would seperate them. What I have done is split up the kids. Make sure these wilds are not together and put them into different centers to play. Eg I have teamed up a nice girl with a wild boy and another calm child. If it looks like you will end up with two wilds together put one of them with a puzzle or something quiet and alone play at the table.

When it comes to reading a book I have put the kids at circle time in a seating chart and have used one for lunch and snack as well.

[Hunni Bee]

I like the one about the dolls...and yes we try to split them up sometimes, but there's six :confused:. They have assigned seats for lunch and table activities, but its still hard to keep them separated....there are at least two who Im sure should be evaluated for real behavior issues, but the parents refusing by omission (just not doing it). So they usually incite the riots and the other guys just follow...


But what we usually do is kinda keep them together and away from the girls to cut down on people getting hurt. I hadnt thougth about totally separating them and pairing them with some of my softer ones...I guess I may have been worried the unacceptable behaviors would spread to everyone.

But thanks guys

[Michael]

Welcome to the forum Hunni Bee!

[Abigail]

Six is quite a lot for the poor behavior and it does sound like you've been working on it. Have you been documenting each incident and having the parents sign stating they are aware of the incident? I would start with that.

It also sounds like this has been happening for awhile and you're scared to terminate. Obviously, you can't change almost half your group. I would focus on the two you believe have major behavioral issues that the parents are not working with them. You should consider terminating one of these two and see if it gets better. If not, terminate the second one you're extremely concerned about.

Don't be afraid to terminate because they're low income and on state assistance. You need to because of their behavior and if it's documented even three times you're fine. It is best for the child and it's best the rest the of the group and the staff. If you can not provide the proper care the child needs and have tried to the best of your ability you have nothing to worry about.

[missnikki]

Here's an out-of-the-box answer.

Have you considered having a meeting/ conference with all the parents at once? What I'm actually asking is....would you consider a parenting 101 class cleverly disguised as a meeting? Mandatory, of course. Provide pizza or sammies, and get the parents all in one room. Discuss strategies that you use (and they can use) to control the behavior. Ask questions, and let the parents ask questions.

You know your families best- would that work? If not, this suggestion will self- destruct in 5...4...3..2..1..*pop*

[kendallina]

This can be so hard and frustrating. When I was a director at a preschool, we had a crew similar to this, except it was 24 children total and 6-7 that really gave us trouble. We were also a state-funded center and the children often had multiple stressors going on at home, which contributed to their behavior at school. Here's what we did and maybe it can help a little.

The teachers and I sat down and really talked about all the issues. We tried to identify what the problems were and we came up with several things that we could do to try to help each child. We also spent some time observing what was going on in the classroom (what set the children off, were the teachers being consistent, etc). We met with the parents of the most difficult 3 or 4 kiddos (can't remember).

Child 1 was really just a follower and with his parents agreement we moved him into a different classroom (we were a 4 program preschool). Not sure if this is an option or not for you, but it completely took care of his misbehavior.

Child 2 was a major instigator. Very very difficult behavior, very defiant. We had a few meetings with mom. We talked to her about tv time (he was getting a lot!). We talked to her about how she handled discipline (spanking and yelling, which obviously was very inconsistent with what we could do). We set up a behavior plan with her. She had goals that she needed to follow through on (less tv time, alternatives with discipline) and we recommended developmental services. We set up goals for the child. We set up goals for us (observation to see what sets him off, consistency, etc). We told mom we would call her when his behavior got out of hand and she would need to pick him up immediately. Eventually we moved him into a different room which also did not work and then we termed him. When you receive state funding terming a child can be very very difficult. You have to document EVERY single incident, every meeting or conversation with mom. At least that's how it was in our state, California.

For the other children we set up behavior plans and were quite strict with them. We even had some of the moms come in and volunteer in the program, so that they could see the behaviors and help us out. We called parents immediately when they got out of hand and they needed to pick their children up. Some of the parents took this very seriously and helped us as much as they could. Others did not.

One of the other instigators went to kindergarten. Whew.

Having a classroom like that was one of the most difficult work experiences of my life. I dreaded work daily. I was the director and wasn't supposed to be in the classroom but I had to be on a daily basis because 3 teachers with 24 kiddos wasn't enough.

Also, to be very honest, terming the one child and moving the other one was tremendously helpful. Probably the most helpful things we did to turn that class around.

We also made sure that we had plenty of outside time. plenty of sensory activities (children with behavior difficulties often crave and need sensory movement). We did a lot of relationship building and positive interactions with them when they were behaving. When we could, we planned activities that we knew would be big hits with these children.

After things got better we all realized that we allowed the misbehavior and craziness to go on for too long and we really should have taken steps sooner.

Not sure if any of this helps, but I definitely understand your frustration and hope things can resolve quickly for you.

[Cat Herder]

OMGosh, Run!!!!!!

Does your State Referral service offer those "mentor programs" that have "Experts" come in and "OBSERVE/ASSIST" you in solving difficult problems??? Will your director discipline you for calling?

I know we had them for "waiver" kids whom needed a bit more "resources" to stay in care to keep the State from losing the federal grants.... :confused:...but we were warned to not call....

I won't go into my personal opinions on that...

I hope you find something soon, that sounds like my personal..well......you know.

[Hunni Bee]

You all have been very helpful...I will suggest some of these suggestions to my director. There's a bug going around, and I caught it so I left early today. My director is covering my class...she called me and I can hear the Motley Crew screaming in the background

And @ Catherder, we have people who can come and observe and make recommendations, but the parent must give consent. The little guy with the most severe behavior problems, we met with his mother and asked her to have this done. She hasn't refused, but hasnt given permission either....she just avoids that conversation...very frustrating

The parents agree that some of their behavior is unacceptable and say that they are working with the children at home, but it just isnt having much effect. One guy's mom just completely ignores the whole situation. I havent seen or spoken to her in several months...he rides the van. I speak with his father regularly, but being that he doesnt live with the family, there isnt a great deal he can do either....