Pray For A Backbone-First Time Terming In A Few Minutes

[Miss Lindsey]

I have had a little guy here since the first of Janiary, 4 days a week, all day. He does nothing but cry, scream or whine (whines when I am holding him but still paying attention to someone else...otherwise he screams and cries). We have tried everything, and he is not improving AT ALL. I have finally just had it. It stresses me out, and its wearing on the kids now too. I am just needing to be strong and let her know this isn't personal, he just needs one on one attention that I can't provide.

Wish me luck!

[Michael]

I have a whole section on needing a backbone: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=backbone

Good Luck!

[jojosmommy]

Good Luck. Don't beat yourself up over it (even though I do everytime!) Tell the parents you are doing the best you can but just can not provide this little one with what he needs.

You will feel bad until the kid is gone and then when you can breathe you will think "why didn't I do this sooner."

I termed someone last september and I promise you, this litte girl's mom and myself both agree it just wasnt working. We still talk and are friends-just not through daycare.

[DCMomOf3]

Good luck! It's hard but when it's over you will feel better.

[momatheart]

How did it go?

[juliebug]

how did it go! i hope it went as well as can be. enjoy the calm for a whlie

[Miss Lindsey]

It went well. I just told her that I couldnt give him the one on one care he needed. I aldo had 2 numbers of people I know had openings and had no other infants, which would be a much better fit. She was understanding, although disappointed. I dont feel complete relief yet because I have to wait for her to find alternate care now. Hoping she finds it soon!
Thanks for the encouragement. I know it was the right decision...just hate letting people down and feeling like I failed.

[Little People]

It went well. I just told her that I couldnt give him the one on one care he needed. I aldo had 2 numbers of people I know had openings and had no other infants, which would be a much better fit. She was understanding, although disappointed. I dont feel complete relief yet because I have to wait for her to find alternate care now. Hoping she finds it soon!
Thanks for the encouragement. I know it was the right decision...just hate letting people down and feeling like I failed.

Lindsey, you did not fail, it just did not work out for you. One thing I ALWAYS tell parents in my interview is...All children & Parents are NOT for all providers and all providers are NOT for all children & parents, I then go on to tell them that we BOTH have a two week trial. Then I tell them that sometimes during a childs stay that the child can sometimes outgrow us and we no longer connect and if this happens we will have to look into finding a better fit for the child/children.

[momofboys]

It went well. I just told her that I couldnt give him the one on one care he needed. I aldo had 2 numbers of people I know had openings and had no other infants, which would be a much better fit. She was understanding, although disappointed. I dont feel complete relief yet because I have to wait for her to find alternate care now. Hoping she finds it soon!
Thanks for the encouragement. I know it was the right decision...just hate letting people down and feeling like I failed.

WTG!!! did you give her a last day of service day? I think you need to do that, care does take some time to find but there is no reason why you need to stick with it for more than 1-2 weeks. I would let mom know her last day. Otherwise you may have this little one for 3-4 more weeks.

[Cat Herder]

WTG!!! did you give her a last day of service day? I think you need to do that, care does take some time to find but there is no reason why you need to stick with it for more than 1-2 weeks. I would let mom know her last day. Otherwise you may have this little one for 3-4 more weeks.

I agree, give them a VERY specific end date.

The last time I told parents it was "time to find other care" it was almost 90 days later without resolution. I had to remind them/ask them weekly.

Their child aged out, parents were aware for 4 years in advance It was in their signed contract before their child was even born!! I typically give them up to 30 days grace after the 4th B-Day which is pretty ridiculous given the circumstance, YKWIM?

The parents would answer that they had not found someone they felt comfortable with, everything was dirty, too expensive, too far away...blah, blah.... I then had to tell them they had one more week because the next child was due to fill that slot.

They acted like they had just been termed without warning , got very defensive, went back to bargaining, sending passive aggressive text/email messages and left mad....ugh! I will never understand it, but they all seem to feel their child is somehow special and you won't follow through.....it is crazy.

[MamaBear]

Good job

I've been there a couple times now where I knew the child would drive me insane if I kept him... the constant crying and not being able to console them unless being held constantly - it just doesnt work when you have other little ones to care for. I kept one for almost a year and he only got worse. The day he was gone, I finally felt sanity again.

Now I stick to my 2 week trial period and I let them know day by day if its working or not so they realize that the end of that 2 weeks if he can return that 3rd week or not. Also when I terminate them I give them 2 weeks notice with an exact ending date --- but I've had situations where its just awful and I dont give a full 2 weeks.

We really have to consider our sanity in this job or it just doesnt work. Good job on giving them notice. That little guy probably needs a nanny or someone who can give one-on-one attention.